for 17 June 1996. Updated every MONDAY.


From the introductory slap on the
ass to last week's Zero Baud, life
often seems like a sinister
consipiracy to keep us all
miserable. Eric Pobirs
<>, though
nominally one of "the lucky ones,"
still found occassion to share his
pain after reading our treatise on
wisdom teeth:

"I was born without wisdom teeth.
Does that make for prenatal wisdom
or does it mean I'm stuck in
adolescence? On the other hand, my
appendix turned rogue when I was
only six, earlier than anyone else
I've met. Does this indicate a
general lack of physiological
smarts or was the little worm just
trying to compensate for a future
pain deficit?"

If we were Dr. Leary, Ed, we'd
probably prescribe a wild flower
to chew on.

Ray Ryan <>
enjoyed our screed on sibling
, but points out a
fatal flaw:

"I enjoyed your Suck piece this
morning. It's so nice to see you
guys writing about, well, life,
instead of yet another

They slip through the cracks, Ray.

Ann Williams
found those long-forgotten names
that were sitting on the tip of
our tongues when the subject of
siblings wafted through our minds
and whiteboards...

"I'm surprised you didn't mention
Goofus and Gallant from Highlights
magazine in your sibling
embarrasment article! Kudos..."

[Steely Dan]

And, finally, a news lead:

"From: "Mark D. Corner"


First of all I have to tell you
that I really enjoy reading suck
as often as I can. As an Internet
user from the pre-WWW days (back
when you actually had to wait to
use archie), I really appriciate
your critical views on the
Internet, the Web and modern
technology. Let me get to the
point. I don't know if you have
mentioned this before....
Pathfinder has added a "live" cam
to their Steely Dan info. If you
are as bored as I am at work, and
watch it long enough, you can tell
that the cam is not really live at
all! It is a series of images that
is used over and over again. The
average user thinks he is getting
these great pictures of Steely Dan
in the studio but it is all a big
lie. Expose them for the frauds
that they are! (I have never liked
Steely Dan anyway...)"

So, Mark, let's get this straight:
You don't like Steely Dan, yet you
stare at their live cam site long
enough to see if it's real or not?


courtesy of
Da Man
and you