for 20 May 1996. Updated every MONDAY.

[Love Mail] If this were a perfect world,
writes David Shaw
"someone would
hack the What's Cool? button on
Netscape to read 'Suck'" . . .
Here's a new one -
<> thinks we need
to be even, well, more suck-ier:
"Don't know why, but I kinda get
the feeling that all you people
are West Coast based. No problem
with that. But how about latching
onto some of that bitter New York
energy? You need more whiners,
complainers, more self-pity (and
by the way, self-pity has gotten a
bad name - it used to be an
honorable profession)." . . . The
net.moguls trading cards have
proven to be a big hit (just wait
'til we figure out how to serve up
the gum with 'em). Steve Silberman
<> says
"I was
especially amused to see Marc
Canter, who I went to college
with, as this week's net.mogul. He
was a not-very-wired opera singer
back then, a candidate for 'Most
Likely to Be Mistaken for a Gay
Man.' I haven't seen him in 12
years, but the caricature seems
very accurate." We're sure he'll
appreciate hearing from you, Steve.

. . . Vacuum regular Jason Asbahr
<> found Polly
Esther's rant about cross
to be
Insightful... The bit about Winona
and Johnny Depp was very William
Gibson-esque." . . .
<> seems to know all
the Polly Esther hotbuttons:
have erected a small shrine in
your honor in my office. Please
keep up the good work, and if
you're ever in Burlingame I'll buy
you lunch and anything else you
might crave; plus, we have a
Pottery Barn right around the
corner!" . . . And while EMI, Inc.
<> also loved the
bit, he/she scratches a nit over
labeling Apple a floundering
"The flounder has been on
this planet for a long time, and
looks like it will be around a lot
longer." . . . Sam Hamm
<> jumps in, holding
"The PowerBook is a perfect
tool for Tom Cruise and the IMF.
After all, it's not just a
computer - it's a firebomb." . . .
[Hate Mail] Beefeater Matthew Doull
<> wonders
about an omission in our Zero Baud
missive on pens:
"What about
HI-LITERS??? The opiod liquidity
of a new, neon pink Schwan Stabilo
Boss bought at an artists supply
store, or the smutty private joy
of a muddy, once-canary Hi-Liter.
I mean, come ON! What greater
calligraphic pleasure is there?"
Admittedly, much better than a
Biro in the eye . . . Colin
Glassey <>
doubts the recent Pitch on a real-
time website that would celebrate
the demise of the famous would fly
in the states:
"Americans are so
intent on ignoring the process of
death that few would watch
Celebrity Death. I can imagine
Japan in 10 years going for this,
or perhaps the Italians (wild
guess)." . . . And, on our
favorite subject, MCretzman
<> wants us
"stop talking about
[Weird Mail] Sucksters in church? James Clements
<> raises
that improbability while
commenting on Johnny Cache's Web
religion screed, Deus In Machina:
"Go ask the poor what they have
without God. But be careful - it
could change your life. I don't
want to discuss having Suck
bookmarked either." . . . Brian
Rosman & Barbara Penzner
<> ask
us to get it straight about this
hairy situation:
"Get your ultras
right. 47th St. Photo is run by
Satmar hasidism - the mortal
enemies of the Chabad Lubavith
Hasidism. The rivalry is so
strong, the rabbi of one group
once kidnapped and cut off the
sidelocks of a member of the other
group who had switched (I forget
which did to whom)." . . . Bill
Katovsky <> is a
proud Salon alumnus, and we're
sure the feeling is mutual:
the way, i was a marketing
consultant at salon for several
months. i like your attitudinal
style much better. you've gone out
and learned to byte the hand that
feeds you. nice pair of cyber
cajones, you have. contact me."
. . .

And batting cleanup on the new Suck
2.0 look, feel, ads, frames, etc.,
etc., etc.: Decklin Foster
"Bottom line:
thank God the content is still
there." . . .
"guess i can't condemn
anyone for 'sucking off the
corporate tit' when they get as
desperate as you guys obviously
have, but i just wanted you to
know that we all see through it."
. . . Jack Szwergold
<> says
"The new SUCK redesign is the only
well thought out use of frames and
GIF animations I have seen so far.
Just thought you should know."
. . . Asks Steve Giovannetti
happen??? I go on vacation and you
guys turn into Salon with annoying
Java ads." Them are fighting
words, Steve . . .

courtesy of
Da Man
and you