Suck

for 17 December 1996. Updated every TUESDAY.



	*A criminal-centric Cops* meets C-Span**
	... on cable!

	Keeping cameras trained on actual gangstas
	24-7, G-Span does C-Span one better by
	cashing in on America's obsessions with
	authenticity and crime.

	C-Span and Court TV have helped make
	reality-based television all the rage,
	but neither channel broadcasts an
	especially exciting version of real life.
	Both have always lacked sympathetic
	characters (who the hell likes
	politicians or lawyers?), and the speed
	at which the law moves makes golf games
	seem fast-paced by comparison. G-Span
	takes a more profitable approach to
	true-life television, broadcasting the
	uncut exploits of those who take our
	*money illegally* with the same steadfast**
	devotion to actual events (and hence low
	production costs). One look at the
	Billboard charts speaks volumes about our
	culture's obsession with gangsta chic,
	and America's appetite for authenticity
	will make this 24-hour crime-fest far
	more popular than its fictionalized
	equivalents.



	Like its political cousin, G-Span
	basically follows gangstas around with
	cameras - a strategy almost guaranteed to
	yield a better dollars-to-doughnuts ratio
	than any footage the Cops crew grabs.
	Viewers will be spellbound by gangsta
	life as it happens - from the thrill of a
	home invasion to the glamour of a gang
	meeting. The programming may sometimes
	get grisly, but the risk of fatality is
	what gives thug life the
	live-fast-die-young ethos entertainment
	consumers seem to demand. Cultural
	killjoys will doubtless point out that
	the channel plays off of our most basic
	fears - but that sure never hurt C-Span's
	ratings.

	Like other true-life television dramas,
	G-Span will cost far less than fictional
	programming (called "entertainment" by
	some). The most significant start-up cost
	will be staff and cameras - both of which
	will probably have to be replaced from
	time to time due to the unique pressures
	of the filming environment. Insurance
	will be the next biggest expense, but
	plans call for giving potential insurers
	a piece of the rock, so to speak, in
	exchange for fitting this project into
	the category of "acceptable risk."
	Editing will be done as cheaply as
	possible in order to keep it real, and
	there won't be any actors or directors to
	demand more money if the show succeeds.

courtesy of Dr. Dreidel