Suck

for 3 December 1996. Updated every TUESDAY.



	Manpower employment agency meets
	NetDay ...in the classroom!

	By donating computers to schools in
	exchange for student coding, KidPower
	unleashes an inexpensive segment of the
	workforce while preparing children for
	the information economy.

	Corporations have long sought to bask in
	the glory of positive press attention by
	handing out computers to public schools,
	but few of the machines donated are
	actually used to prepare students for the
	demanding job market of the digital age.
	KidPower solves this problem, while at
	the same time opening up a new source of
	semiskilled labor that makes repetitive
	coding even cheaper than it would be in
	the Third World. Each computer KidPower
	donates to a public school includes a
	manual that teaches kids valuable skills
	like Java and HTML - and the little
	darlings learn by example, coding real
	projects for actual corporations.
	KidPower collects their pay, of course.
	What better way to build a bridge to our
	postindustrial future?



	Economists of all political persuasions
	yammer endlessly about the vast array of
	skills students will need to compete in
	the coming century, but who needs
	geography to find his way to a cubicle?
	In addition to making corporate America
	more competitive, KidPower will
	revitalize our education system by
	teaching children to do the repetitive
	tasks they'll need to perform in the
	real-life workplace. The kids should have
	no problem competing with the surly
	twentysomethings now doing many of these
	jobs, and the current political climate
	makes this an even better bet. If schools
	are indeed privatized, KidPower could
	even open its own coding academy!

	KidPower's only significant start-up cost
	is computers - and the company will start
	out donating used ones. This shouldn't
	undercut efficiency too much, and it will
	teach students how to do more with less -
	a valuable lesson in today's rapidly
	downsizing economy. The only other
	notable cost would be a massive public
	relations campaign aimed at convincing
	companies that students can churn out
	code quicker than foreigners. Once
	newspapers and magazines run a few puff
	pieces about this new, untapped labor
	force, public schools will line up to
	trade child coding for computer
	equipment.

courtesy of Dr. Dreidel