Suck

for8 October 1996. Updated every TUESDAY.



	SurfWatch meets the adult section of Tower
	Video... on the web!

	Using the same link-blocking principle as
	SurfWatch, Schoolhouse Block improves the
	signal-to-noise ratio for adults seeking
	*the web's real* killer app.**

	Though mainstream media scare stories
	present pornography as the tragic flaw of
	an otherwise enlightening Internet, nudie
	pictures are the closest thing to a
	killer app at this point. Rheingold-reading
	community-builders might not want
	to admit it, but so-called adult
	content draws web traffic as surely
	as that curtained-off section of the
	local video store made people start
	wanting to stay home nights with the VCR.
	Often though, consenting adults looking
	for net naughtiness instead find
	children's sites - or worse yet, a Barney
	page, the digital era's equivalent of the
	proverbial cold shower. Based on the same
	site-blocking idea as kiddie-protecting
	SurfWatch software, Schoolhouse Block
	steers amorous adults away from anything
	appropriate for children.



	To begin a surfing session, users click
	over to www.SchoolhouseBlock.com and
	enter their password. The site then takes
	a few minutes to automatically update the
	downloadable (but not free) software as
	it presents animated advertising.
	Naturally, surfers can also adjust the
	program's settings, which can block out
	anything child-related (also very
	valuable for shellshocked parents),
	anything ending in .edu (for those sick
	of college shenanigans), and even
	everything nonpornographic.

	With low operating costs and few
	significant start-up expenses,
	Schoolhouse Block is a porn profiteer's
	wet dream. The most expensive part of the
	project is the actual code and the list
	of naughty sites, which could probably be
	purchased from SurfWatch at a decent
	price. Children's sites really aren't
	interested in attracting an adult
	audience, let alone one trolling the net
	for cheap thrills, so it shouldn't be
	difficult to convince administrators to
	label their pages off-limits to the
	program. Adults and teens who find Sesame
	Street and Barney amusing will be
	recruited to search out kid-oriented
	sites this effort may miss at a wage the
	Count could barely quantify. A few banner
	trades with adult-themed sites should
	give Schoolhouse Block the necessary
	promotional push.

courtesy of Dr. Dreidel