[THE PITCH]
for 20 August 1996. Updated every TUESDAY.
 


[watercooler.com]
 
BIG IDEA Dream Jobs meets your former employer...
on the web!
 
25 WORDS <= Real-time gossip and a virtual workplace
for the un- and underemployed, helpful
loyalty checks and preemptive
scandal-counterspinning for their former,
future and current employers.
 
HARD SELL Telecommuting and rightsizing have made
going to work only an option for some, a
distant hope for others. Unemployment
benefits, freelance consulting, and
conference calls can help fill the
monetary gap, but what of the social one?
Watercooler.com gives freelancers and
telecommuters the opportunity to
eavesdrop on and participate in the
goings-on of strikingly realistic
fictional workplaces. A combination of
dedicated list-servers, CU-SeeMe
connections and staff pages lets these
homebodies experience the thrill of a
dream job without ever requiring them to
hang up their modem.
 
[Comic]
 
Sponsorship could come from an
outplacement consulting firm, making
Watercooler.com a value-add on top of the
traditional lightbulb, desk, and phone
offered by other employment brokerage
agencies. Watercooler.com would supply
its customers with their choice of
vaguely familiar new media
pseudoemployers through a unique
revenue-generating arrangement with the
real thing(s): in exchange for the raw
material available in these companies'
archived interoffice mail and in-house
newsletters, Watercooler.com allows the
companies complete access to its customer
database, as well as the ability to
monitor former employees' contributions
to the "private" discussion forums. What
better way to ensure the NDA compliance
of former employees who now float free in
the industry?
 
OVERHEAD Staffing consists of a single intern
to HTML-ize company newsletters and to
"moderate" Watercooler.com mailing lists,
starting threads sure to generate
collective bitching and moaning. Proven
conversational napalm includes "The
Home/Office, or: I gave up my family and
all I got was this lousy paycheck,"
"Mismanagement for Dummies," "Clean my
desk? Wipe this!," "Creatively
embroidering your Exhibit B" and "They're
out of toilet paper again."
 

[Pitch Archive]

courtesy of
The Duchess of Churl