for 14 December 1999. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Psychiatric Help, 5 Cents Yes, we're all very impressed that Charles Schulz has had a rough life, and his personal depression contributes that gloss of authenticity to the misery (i.e., tragedy) that oozes from between the panels of his daily comic. So of course we don't begrudge him his fortune; the man is a professional victim, and in our disposable culture, victimhood is something to aspire to. What bothers me more is that the consumers who have donated their hard-earned nickles to make Schulz rich don't seem to grok the difference between the authentic misery, horror, and despair of Good Ol' Charlie Boy and the synthesized gloom 'n' doom produced by Disney. Whether they're watching Little Miss Whoever-the-Suck trying to get in touch with her ex-dog while dying of cancer in a hospital bed, or watching King Triton level abuse at his daughter while he destroys her bedroom in a jealous rage, having discovered her great betrayal (not that she has spoken with a human, note, but she has fallen in love with someone), the American public just seems to like seeing horrible things happen to children, as long as the overall packaging is cute. Why do we like to see a father rage at a little girl? Why do we pay Schulz to show us a stupid little boy getting screwed over again by the girl who promises to hold the football? (This time she'll wait for him; this time she won't pull out.) We like it because little kids make good victims. For the same reason, Schulz's cartoons are authentic, though we all understand Disney's are counterfeits. We love Schulz; not only does he feed us pure, uncut victimization every day of the week, but the man is himself a victim. He's dying because he's such a victim; it's great. We're like addicts of a deadly substance that found a friendly dealer. Not only does he give us our fix for free, he's also using the stuff himself. It's beautiful. But Disney's stuff is fake; it's junk food. We'll eat it because we have to, but we know it isn't like Mom's cooking. There's no attachment, no real sentiment. We'll compulsively return to see Disney's films, but we won't ever love Disney; not the way we love Schulz. After all, Disney can't die. Walt can. He can have his head sawed off and frozen in nitrogen, depending on what tabloid you read. But Disney, the huge multimillion-dollar corporation that has come to symbolize American bad taste, is immortal. Disney can't hurt; Disney can't be a victim. So we can't identify with it. We all want and hope to someday be as much a victim as Schulz is now; as much a one as Charlie Brown has always been, because if you're a victim you get something better than sex, better than love, and better than money. You get sympathy. You get to be on the news; everybody says, "Poor little boy. Poor little girl. How tragic." People understand you. They understand it wasn't your fault. If you're lucky, the president of the United States will go on the air to feel your pain. That way, see, you won't have to. That way, see, you get your five minutes of fame. I say: Fuck innocence. Fuck victimhood. Do what you can to improve the world, sure — or as much as that vague guilt which perpetually gnaws your innards will motivate you to do — but desist with the mongrelized, mediafied, pain-feeling pity-oozing. Knock off the useless, inauthentic, dewy-eyed telecaster faux-sympathy, and otherwise cut the shit. Max Headroom <plankton25@excite.com> Is "aspiring to victimhood" the same thing as recognizing the tragedy of our inherent disposableness? If so, this raises an interesting possibility — tragedy as a consumer item. I can see the billboards now. Something, something, catharsis, something. It could be bigger than Bubble Goo. I know what you mean about Walt Disney, though. Always offering pat solutions to children's real-world powerlessness. And it's not exactly clear where that supposedly benign paternalism ends. Walt himself squawked to the House Un-American Activities Committee, naming the people who'd unionized his animators as known Communists. And ironically, Walt himself hated his father. It's a small world of wicked stepmothers, after all. I think people are just looking for a safe way to feel their emotions — even if only vicariously through child characters in a movie or comic strip. Something, something, catharsis, something. You make some good points. Newscasters read that Charles M. Schulz is in the hospital, and they start composing "Oh, the humanity" editorials. It's like when a movie star dies — you wonder why you're being told, since you never knew the star, just his or her work. The rationalization is that the performer is, in some way, reflected in his or her work. It's been argued that mass audiences can only register an event if it's conveyed in story form. And the follow-up argument is that some meaningful message can be packaged in story form and still retain some of its essential meaning. But ultimately believing that to be true requires a leap of faith in the mass media. If you asked a broadcaster instead of Linus, he or she would tell you that's what Christmas specials are all about. Destiny  I seem to remember a series of books for Christian teens (published by the Methodists?) illustrated by Schulz. This would have been about 1966 or 1967. I can't remember if they were in comic strip format, or just text with single illustrations. Probably the latter ... it would explain why my grandmother could never get me to read them. Well, that and the marijuana. <Glenn.Evans@METROKC.GOV> Ah yes, The Gospel According to Peanuts and The Parables of Peanuts. Actually, it was a Methodist seminary student in Texas who whipped those up, according to Schulz's biographer, illustrating his own religious ethics with borrowed panels. The essays on Charlie Brown's "T-shirt of thorns" went straight to No. 1 on the nonfiction bestseller list in 1965. You know the drill. Find the true meaning of Christmas and win money, money, money. Thanks for writing! Destiny A surprisingly sweet essay. I didn't think Suck was capable of this, but the themes of disappointment and the chronically unfulfilled life are central to Suck's Weltanschauung. That Schulz's now-irrelevant (and frequently humor-free) strip can be viewed through such a loving lens is evidence that at some point, a conversation closed with Schulz saying, "I am your father, Joey." Alas, the merchandising deals were not to follow. Rob McMillin <robm@pricegrabber.com> Yeah, well that shows how much you know, Mr. Smarty-pants! We're working on marketing a collection of Suck-related cartoons called Happiness Is a Warm Fish. We'll keep you posted. We always identified with that weird kid Pogo-ing in the background in A Charlie Brown Christmas. Just so you know. Destiny I had the good fortune to be exposed to You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown during its first run as a stage musical in San Francisco in, I believe, early '69. After the show, I purchased a medallion commemorating Snoopy and Woodstock's role in our space program (how the quaint phrasing rushes back: "our space program" — Tom Hanks could do a whole miniseries about the sentiment that that phrase evokes in white guys his and my age from the suburbs of "happening" states like California ... oh), which named the December 1968 Apollo 8 command and lunar modules. I just wanted to say I think you have it dead right. If I may summarize in my own idiom, Schulz isn't begrudged his wealth because, in some odd but very deep corner of our minds, he "earned it" by giving us the Peanuts characters and nurturing them so well for so long (whenever one would cut off his own period of appreciation, it would nonetheless extend more than 20 years, anyone claiming otherwise being a dramatic and bad liar). I am also glad to read that his children once said publically that the last thing they need is more money. During the time Monte Schulz and I overlapped at UC Santa Barbara, I had my doubts. In retrospect, he must just have been a guy trying to play some hockey under the double-barreled handicap of advancing age (he was rumored to be 30, claiming to be 29) and second-hand celebrity. I'm sure we were too hard on him, and probably the other kids too (whoever they may be). Bless my godfather, and bless Charles Schulz. Great column. Richard Piedmonte <humanmeal@earthlink.net> People forget just how popular Peanuts was in the '60s, and it was mainly because Schulz was extra-relevant back then. In one panel from the period, Snoopy returns to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm only to find that a riot has broken out. The police start firing tear gas as a horrified Linus and Charlie Brown watch on TV. (I'm not making this up!) Yeah, and in that 20 years, the franchise kept chugging. I mean, there are Peanuts specials about every single holiday. There's even one about Arbor Day! Destiny Psychiatric Help, 5 Cents Thanks, Suck. Today you made me cry — not with laughter, but with joy. It was a warm and touching tribute. In the very early '60s, Peanuts was among my first reading lessons and offered up an ironic view of the adult world. I have not followed it for many years, but your portrait of Schulz brings me back to something gentle that I like. Now bring on Filler. George Lichte <glichte@hotmail.com> Thank you! Like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, all we needed was a little love. And about 15K a year more than we're currently making. And some Bubble Goo. Destiny Thanks for the essay on Charles Schulz! It was nice to read your sympathetic look at an apparently very nice man whose work has been one of the few constants in our culture since, well, long before I was able to read. "Umberto Eco once wrote an essay blaming society for Charlie Brown's failed quest for fulfillment." As a big Eco fan, I'd love to read this. I notice that Amazon has a listing for a book on Schulz written by Eco and another author, but it's out of print. I wonder whether this essay might also have been published either in his column in L'Espresso or in a collection such as Travels in Hyperreality. There's no link from your Suck essay, and the L'Espresso Web site doesn't seem to have anything either, so it's probably not online. Still, I thought I'd ask whether you might have a link or other info as to where this essay might be found. Martin Janzen <janzen@idacom.hp.com> Several people asked me that. I tried to find it online but didn't have any luck. It's mentioned in Schulz's biography as "The World of Charlie Brown," translated from the Italian by William Weaver. Here's the complete excerpt they used: "Requiring, to a critical degree, communication and popularity, and repaid by the matriarchal, know-it-all girls of his group with scorn, references to his round head, accusations of stupidity, all the little digs that strike home, Charlie Brown, undaunted, seeks tenderness and fulfillment on every side: in baseball, in building kites, in his relationship with his dog Snoopy, in play with the girls. He always fails. His solitude becomes an abyss, his inferiority complex is pervasive — tinged by the constant suspicion (which the reader also comes to share) that Charlie Brown does not have an inferiority complex, but really is inferior. The tragedy is that Charlie Brown is not inferior. Worse: He is absolutely normal.... He is like everybody else. This is why he proceeds always on the brink of suicide, or at least of nervous breakdown; because he seeks salvation through the routine formulas suggested to him by the society in which he lives (the art of making friends, culture in four easy lessons, the pursuit of happiness, how to make out with girls ... he has been ruined, obviously, by Dr. Kinsey, Dale Carnegie, Erich Fromm, and Lin Yutang)." I think what Eco is trying to say is that happiness isn't a warm puppy! Destiny I'll make this quick and to the point. I love Suck. I love Suck because it makes me think. I don't get spoon-fed a bunch of garbage topped with whipped cream and a cherry. I get life, in its twisted and mangled beauty. The Schulz story was amazing. I just got through reading it, and my brain is still working on trying to grasp every necessary thought you all put into it. Keep up the great work! K. Myles Becker <mbecker@buyitnow.com> Thanks! It's always nice to hear from someone at BuyItNow.com. I appreciate the thoughtful email. Especially since I just came back from celebrating Thanksgiving, where my roommate's loser friends served me garbage topped with whipped cream and a cherry! Keeping brains working since 1995, Destiny Enjoyed it. Check out www.sportingpress.com. Often very funny. Steve Hill <SteveHill@MichaelPartners.com> Thanks! I passed your mail on to my new friend at BuyItNow.com Your pal, Destiny |
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