for 3 December 1999. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Hit & Run Funny that you mention McSweeney's in a list of words guaranteed to get you to stop reading a publication. Funny that "a list of words guaranteed to get you to stop reading a publication" would be perfectly at home over at http://www.mcsweeneys.net, where self-referential pop culture lists have been a mainstay for the several months of that site's existence. Funnily yours, Chris Keach <ckeach@arc-consultants.com> Sorry, Chris. Our eyes started to glaze over once we saw you had the word McSweeney's in your mail; by the time we got to "self-referential pop culture" we were comatose. What was the question again? the Sucksters  Subject: I kiss you I love the Turkish guy with the accordion. <JLMoses@ aol.com> Maybe it's just us, but somehow the speed with which every funny thing gets picked up, passed around, and transformed into redundant story-of-the-story fallout just made the whole Mahir thing seem like a joke that stopped being funny before we even heard the punch line. Admittedly, Mahir is funny somehow, but the shortening of the distance from "hilarious thing somebody found" to "annoying thing everybody keeps telling you about and then waiting for you to laugh" just reminds us of how dimly our own faded notoriety now shines, and makes us depressed. the Sucksters Helpful Suggestions from Our Reader(s) Sucksters, As far as I'm concerned, Suck has the best writing I've ever seen in a daily publication. I read Harper's, The New Yorker, sometimes Utne and Mother, but I've been reading more of Suck than anything lately, only partially because I can read Suck at work on the screen and it sort of looks like I'm working. I know I pay bupkes for Suck, but, please, please, enough with the flashing ads at the bottom of the page. I know you think it's cute that we can't scroll them away, but if today's Suck weren't so entertaining (especially the list), I'd have been gone before I finished the first page. Ordinary banners I can ignore, and maybe I've got a latent epilepsy I don't know about, but the flashing crap really makes me begin to understand what drives those postal workers. Thank you for considering my gripe, and keep up the notable, risk-taking, irreverent, contrarian, and edgy prose. Kurt Opprecht <arjaynine@yahoo.com> Ah, love a little, twist the knife a little. Well, as our Southern belle neighbor used to say, "You catch more bees with sugar." Having said that, you send us a subscription price, and we'll make an ad-free version of Suck just for you. Hell, we'll customize it and put a picture of your face — that's right, your face — on the front page. Nah, we'll make a Filler cartoon based on your life. We'll rename Suck "Kurt." You catch more ears with hard cash. Got to keep me groundsman in rubber boots. the Sucksters Subject: Yesterday's Note I've been thinking about the note I sent yesterday and it dawned on me that it wouldn't take a paranoid to be at least a little alarmed by the references I made to going postal. I apologize. I was merely trying to express my frustration, not trying to threaten. I'm a peaceful person. Please do not be alarmed by my note. Kurt Opprecht <arjaynine@yahoo.com> If you could only read half our mail — you know, the stuff about recent purchases of night vision goggles and such — you'd realize your little note was anything but alarming. Now get that check in the mail, cowboy! Remember: It pays less to care more. the Sucksters Hit & Run The only publication I know of that ever refers to Prada is Suck. Out here in fly-over country, the only reason I even know what the hell Prada is is because you guys prattle on about it endlessly. I've no idea what Prada looks like, but I do know they have a bike-messenger bag, since you devoted an entire day to the damn thing. Apparently, they also have an A-line tennis dress. It can't be all that expensive, though, since "even the homeless are wearing Prada." Which seems weird to me, since Prada is a favorite of celebrities. I figure you have some sort of joint marketing deal. Mark Wright <mwright@pro-ns.net> Duh! Why do you think we put them on the list? the Sucksters Dear Sucksters, In Hit & Run 18 November 1999, you write, "Who says student activism is dead? On the campus of the University of California at Berkeley, sacred ground of '60s protest culture, debate rages on. Of course, these days it's not the Black Panthers but the fashion police speaking out ... it's comforting to know that collegiate concerns can be solved with a protein shake and an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog." Clearly, you guys have not been keeping up with student activism, even in your own backyard. Why perpetuate the myth of student apathy? Not only has Berkeley been incredibly active in the antisweatshop movement (with an action only two days before you ran this poorly researched article), but there were hunger strikes and arrests there at the end of the last school year over ethnic studies. If you want to see what's gone on at other schools, at least on the antisweatshop front, visit http://www.umich.edu/~ sole/usass y1/media. Do your research. Sincerely, Saurav Sarkar Yale '00 <saurav.sarkar@yale.edu> Big whoop. At Suck we have hunger strikes and arrests all the time against Yale undergraduates. But they still don't go away. the Sucksters Subject: You forgot one ... ... or two. "pundit paradigm" It hurts to type them. Josh Renaud <josh@jabscoinc.com> Hurts so good, you mean. Supporting the dominant paradigm and questioning questioning authority, the Sucksters |
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