The Fish
for 27 July 1998. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Editor in Chief


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


[the fixin' pixie... ]
Emily Hobson
Production Manager
and Rhythm Guitar


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Ian Connelly]
Ian Connelly
Marketing Manager


[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


[yes, it's a plunger. i'll l
eave the rest up to your imagination ... ]
Erin Coull
Production Manager


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

E-Z Bake Oven

Great job on the drug story.
I love how every
authoritative figure I have
ever heard speak about drugs
has indicated that pot
smoking is only a stepping
stone to more destructive
drugs, and eventually leads
to the desire to sell heroin
to children. Also, that
"casual" pot smoking does not
exist - you're instantly
hooked, have an insatiable
desire to try more harmful
drugs, and any chance you may
have had for a good
education/job is destroyed.

I am still waiting for the
cravings to come. I smoked a
bit of the green a couple
years ago, then quit smoking
cigs, and consequently
everything else. I lived in
fear of the cravings for a
year or so, but I seem to
have beaten it! I think your
government should spend
copious medical research
money to isolate the gene
that makes me impermeable to
the desire for more harmful
drugs (and of course, the
desire to push smack to
kids). Together, the war can
be won.

BTW, the first time I saw
that little graphic of Erin
Coull, I thought she was
smoking a bong.

Hudson Powers

Yes, and the Denver Museum
of Natural History had (or
has - I haven't been in a
while, but it might still be
going) an exhibit on "health
and your body," or whatever
they called it exactly. And
the true/false quiz on
substance abuse included the
question: "Tobacco use leads
to the use of other drugs."
The answer was, yes, "true."

Which is where I gave up and
went home.

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

Well, I fail to see why we
should be spending billions
of taxpayers' dollars on ads
that have been proven to be
ineffective. Thanks for
writing something I've wanted
to scream at the top of my
lungs since last week when
ol' dipshit announced the
really (IMO) stupid
investment of putting my
money into ads that do
absolutely nothing except
pique kids' interest in
drugs.... Remember thinking
this thought while watching a
commercial.... Hmm - why are
they advertising about drugs
being bad? What drugs? What
are drugs? Maybe I should ask
somebody about drugs? This
isn't a true story - but it
makes sense if you think
about it. Kids that don't
know anything about them will
be introduced, and perhaps
they might be curious.

Thanks for the great

Todd McGuinness

I'm actually very grateful
for government-sponsored
anti-drug ads - they provide
endless amusement. It's a
little like listening to a
bad undercover narc try to
score off a kid on the
street, using "street" or
"hep" lingo: Hey, kickin'
daddy, I'm down with the loco
weed - got any zippy
skittles? I only hope they
bring back the ads that
feature Nancy Reagan. Now
there's a gal with street

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

The best indictment I've
heard on the "war on drugs"
came from John Stewart, who
said "why do you want to
legalize drugs? Are you
having trouble finding it?"
That line brought the house
down, and exposed the real
truth: no one has any
problems finding drugs.
McCaffery raises the specter
of buying heroin at the
corner store, but I can buy
it on the corner in front of
the store now. What's the
difference? Oh, well.

David White

Ever try to score LSD in
Colorado? True otherwise, but
what about my needs?

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

"Monthly US$20 marijuana
purchase"? You can't get pure
oregano for $20 around here.


I am absolutely delighted by
the number of Suck readers
who have written in to say
"no way, man, I do way more
drugs than $20 a month."

Keep the faith, loyal foot
soldiers. The dummy pipe will
lead us home.

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

Echo Chamber

In your Echo
Chamber piece, I followed a
link that led me to an
article containing this
irritating quote from 60
extraordinare Mike Wallace:

"What I'm not sure of, still,
is what transforms ... [the
Duke University seminar on
gay, lesbian, and bisexual
studies offered by Prof. John
Younger] from a rap session
on sexuality into academia."

Hmm. What, indeed. Perhaps
the thing responsible for
such a transformation is
somehow related to what keeps
a reporter from realizing
that he is made up entirely
of bullshit. Or perhaps I
should wonder, what magic
ingredient is it that
transforms a sack of bullshit
into, say, a well-known

But mostly, what I am really
trying to figure out is what
turns a fairly intelligent,
nice young woman working an
office job into a
stark-raving lunatic with
Suck as her only escape from
the madness?

I guess that would have to be
the numerous sacks of
bullshit constantly coming my
way, though I am unable, as
of yet, to transform them
into anything worthwhile.

Regardless, I do enjoy your
writings. Thanks.


Cheryl Klimaszewski

What magic ingredient
transforms a sack of bullshit
into a well-known reporter? I
believe the correct answer
is: what transformation?

And if Suck is your only
escape from madness, you
could be in big, big trouble.
We're not licensed for that
kind of thing.

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

Very good job on the
chauncy/60 Minutes thing. I
didn't catch that one. I did
see one of those shows
recently (maybe it was
Dateline) regress back into
1996 cyberporn hysteria. I
guess the Net's just getting
too competitive for them. One
of the big bad points about
the Net? "People have to pick
through the information they
find there, and figure out
for themselves if it's true
or not." How terrible.

Joey Manley
Free Speech Internet
Television: "... militant
lesbians, pot-smoking
road-trippers, and
anticorporate agitprop...."
(The Wall Street Journal,
Thursday, May 28, 1998)

No kidding. We should all
stick with older media, where
experienced and trustworthy
reporters like Peter Arnett
and Stephen Glass can explain
it all for us.

pot-smoking road-tripper,

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

i tried to go read the salon
mag article you referenced,
but couldn't drag myself past
the first paragraph.

r stevens

Hurts, don't it?

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

Re: Yr article today ... was
excellent. Salon used to be
an interesting magazine
before it contracted Bay
-itis and started
taking itself so goddamned
seriously. Thanks for
providing a breath of fresh
air, and here's to hoping Mr.
Talbot and his minions will
stop and reflect after
reading your article, instead
of painting Suck as yet
another pawn in the
right-wing conspiracy against
Bill Clinton and the last
bastion of liberalism and
free thought (as if).


Bay Guardian-itis is the
perfect description of the
illness. That earnest,
'tude-heavy predictability.

another pawn,

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

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