The Fish
for 10 April 1998. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Editor in Chief


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


[the fixin' pixie... ]
Emily Hobson
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and Drink Taster


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Ian Connelly]
Ian Connelly
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[Copy Edit]
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Carl Steadman
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Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


[yes, it's a plunger. i'll l
eave the rest up to your imagination ... ]
Erin Coull
Production Manager


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Faux Pas

In Faux Pas you certainly
missed one of the more recent
and compelling examples of
regret and sorrow, without
the actual regret and sorrow:
President Clinton's apologies
(on behalf of the world, no
less) for the genocide in
Rwanda. No doubt, sitting in
his office day after day,
President Clinton wasn't
aware of the terrible
genocide taking place in
Rwanda, despite a US$38
Billion intelligence budget,
warnings and reports from
human rights and aid
organizations, and press
reports. Certainly, if he had
only known, he would have
stepped in and prevented all
those terrible deaths.

Ernest Miller

Handed the piece in before
that particular apology,
which is too bad; it was a
uniquely Clintonian moment.
Machetes? Really? Gosh, uh -
sorry 'bout that! (Weapons of
mass destruction: very bad;
threaten to bomb. Actual mass
destruction: unfortunate;

I feel your pain. And I

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

Cool irony. But you miss
something. The future. So far
Bill has slipped by all of
this with high ratings.

And dear Monica, do not forget
she read Vent magazine. In
the future she could be
taking pot shots at you. Will
we see her as a rape victim
on Law and Order? How about
the new roommate of Ally
? And, of course, she
could fit into Melrose Place
with presidential honors.

This story is not over until
the fat lady sings. And I
look forward to it with a
vengeance. You should, too.

David A. Dorney


No future. Future, crossed
out. Only the terminator,
always behind me.

Hope that clears things up.

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon

I know Suck is just a
reflection of the often silly
world of mass media. But I,
personally, am so sick and
tired of the whole Clinton
media BS. I just don't care.
I have no interest. I know
you are making fun of the
whole Clinton/media situation
... but it's just more media

There has got to be something
more interesting to write

Just my humble opinion as a
regular Suck reader,

Troy Sheets

Let me level with
you: We've been writing about
Bill Clinton so much because
he's been hanging around the
house, parked on our couch in
his boxer shorts, flipping
through the basic cable
stations, and making
whimpering sounds at Talk
Don't you think you'd
do the same, in our position?
I mean, you should see what
this man does to a case of

Ambrose Beers

Fish With Letter Icon


Me & My Shadow of Irony

When I saw the intro to this
piece, I cringed. I knew what
was coming and I knew it was
gonna hurt. I like and
respect both Harper's and The
but I remember
reading Thomas Frank's
article and just shaking my
head. He doesn't get it,
y'know? Irony is boring now,
boring because it's become
easy and expected. Yes, we do
need to find another
aesthetic, but simply
removing ourselves to another
level of irony isn't going to
do it. (Quick quiz: What's
the difference between a pop
band and an ironic pop band?
The regular pop band sells
albums.) Crap is no more
worthwhile if the person
producing it is wearing a
shit-eating grin. I
especially liked your dig at
the idea that Chris was
authentic because he owned
tchotchkes - pardon me? So my
elderly grandmother who
collects porcelain figures is
now qualified to get a record
contract? Look, it's fine and
even "cool" to a certain
adolescent degree to ape
supposedly "uncool" styles,
but if you do so, a) it can't
just be for humor value, and
b) it has to stand as good
music on its own. (Notable
examples: Beck and the
Geraldine Fibbers). There is
more honor and art in a good
bar band than there is in
something like Yum-Yum.


(who eats at a really good
restaurant called the Yum Yum
in Greensboro, NC)

Oh, I don't know, Chris. I
tend to like crap a hell of a
lot more if the person
producing it is wearing a
shit-eating grin. But what
doesn't go nicely with a
shit-eating grin, when you
really think about it?

You're right, though. Irony is
boring. Booorrrrring! But
it's all I've got, okay? So
back off!

Just kidding. Posturing and
pop music are tough - there's
no possibility of an
immaculate conception in the
music world, let's face it.
But in terms of songwriting,
I'll take sincerity over
irony any day. I find that
Ween is the perfect litmus
test for how much irony
people can take in their
music. I don't like Ween.

Oh, whatever.

Pop Goes The Weasel,


Fish With Letter Icon

Once again your insight rouses
me to congratulation ("Me &
My Shadow of Irony: An
American Tragedy"). I read
the article when it appeared
in Harper's, and enjoyed the
author's characterization of
the "enormous lifestyle
palace called Pierre's," but
only because my home is about
10 minutes away from said
palace. Yeah, by golly, he
caught us, fer sure.... Most
of the folks who attend any
Friday night event in Fort
Wayne, Indiana, are likely to
be puzzled and annoyed by the
sudden appearance of irony.
But I far more enjoyed your
characterization of the
author and his brilliant
friend, whose daydream of
tricking a record company
into signing an imaginary
band seems to have come true.
Battle on, Xena.

Jim Bordner, Gravity Music

It's all just fun and games,
ultimately.... Imaginary
bands, imaginary Web sites,
imaginary names. All it
points to is that most of us
need to be subjected to
several years of heavy labor.

That'll shut us up real

Just Another Whining


Fish With Letter Icon

You-Know-Who Chimes In

Subject: Department of
diminishing returns


1. Yeah, I always found the
rock-and-roll self-pity in
The Baffler the
least-interesting part.

2. That is a very funny
column. The art is wonderful

3. The Suck readership isn't
small enough - you've got to
play to the sub-subdivision
that (i) reads The Baffler,
(ii) gives a damn, and (iii)
thinks modern music either
matters or doesn't matter?

Coming next week: a brilliant
exposè of Yo-Yo Ma's greed
and arrogance in believing
that anybody would spend
their own money to listen to
him do the Bach cello pieces
twice. Or not.

Alan Kornheiser

Suck has made a name for
itself, albeit a bad one,
playing to the

Without our tendency to cater
to the sub-subdivision, you
wouldn't be such a celebrity
in Suck-reading,
letter-reading circles.



Fish With Letter Icon


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