The Fish
for 10 March 1998. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Editor in Chief


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


[the fixin' pixie... ]
Emily Hobson
Production Manager
and Drink Taster


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Ian Connelly]
Ian Connelly
Marketing Manager


[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


[yes, it's a plunger. i'll l
eave the rest up to your imagination ... ]
Erin Coull
Production Manager


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Office Despot

I enjoyed your piece today on
Dilbert and largely agreed
with it, but I would like to
pipe up and defend Tom
Tomorrow. If one looks
carefully at the interview
that Tomorrow did with
oh-so-insightful Salon on the
subject, one realizes that
Tomorrow never attacks Scott
Adams or Dilbert itself.
Instead, he reserves his ire
for the media furor over D
and news tabloids like
Newsweek appointing Adams the
new nuncio of the
(white-collar) working man.

Dan Mess

I'm not sure what TT said in
the oh-so-insightful Salon,
but in the oh-so-funny
Dilbert-bashing book, his
views are crystal clear.

In any case, thanks for


Fish With Letter Icon

Man, just when I was thinking
that Suck was about to merge
with Salon (American history
an endless series of deals
with the devil indeed), here
you come with a much-needed
send-up of this foolishness.

Academics who don't
understand why they and their
ideas are so unpopular should
take time out for your piece,
if they can fit it in between
deconstructed analyses of
Star Trek: Voyager and thick
treatises on the rise of
racial awareness,
corresponding to appearances
of that white cop on Sanford
and Son,
who always got his
slang wrong.

As for Tom Tomorrow and
Salon, that one-note symphony
got old years ago. Any Web
site that would keep that
unfunny, heavy-handed
advertisement for the
clip-art industry while
junking "The Hero Santos"
deserves to stew in its own

Thank you, drive through.

Please keep news of our
pending merger on the
down-low. And thanks for the
kind words.


Fish With Letter Icon

Another Letter from Harvard

Dear Sucksters,

I just wanted to write to let
you know that I am a huge fan
of your site and have been an
avid reader for more than two
years. Filler is a particular
favorite of mine, but I enjoy
the content almost every day
and find it interesting,
thought-provoking, and often
quite funny. (Especially when
you take on such worthy
targets as Jon Katz, the
Washington media, and Fiona

Please don't let the
complaints of a certain
[person], who apparently is a
colleague of mine at this
particular institution, color
your view of all of us at
Harvard. People like him, who
appear arrogant,
condescending, and humorless,
and who believe that the SATs
actually measure "scholastic
aptitude" rather than how
white, male, and
upper-middle-class one is,
perpetuate an unfortunate
stereotype that many of the
rest of us have tried our
best to shatter. His attempt
in his first letter to make
sweeping, baseless
generalizations about Harvard
students would be funny if it
weren't so sad. Please resist
the temptation to do the

Thanks so much, Sucksters,
for your excellent site. Keep
up the great work.

Dave Hopkins

Oh, we didn't think he was so
bad, actually. And remember,
Suck rose to glory on the
backs of countless, baseless

But thanks for writing in
with your 2 cents. We'll try
to adjust our baseless
generalizations accordingly.

Fish With Letter Icon

Office Despot

Dear Dr.,

It's great to see SOMEONE
stick up for the underdog
against all of those
scheming, monolithic
Marxists. I don't think it's
too far of a stretch to think
if not for your wicked,
on-the-mark diatribe against
turgid, moldy left-wingers
and cultural contrarians,
communism - or at least some
awful kind of socialism -
would surely make its return.

Thankfully, big business -
the seen force that ably and
fairly drives the Invisible
Hand - will be able to
maintain its tenuous grip on
our economic system.

With your pinpoint wit,
you've single handedly - and
boldy! - managed to deflate
the huge (and growing)
movement of Dilbert bashing
that was gathering behind
slick, stuffed-shirt
sell-outs like Griffith and
Tomorrow. Kudos to you.

Now maybe we can go back to
unadulterated enjoyment of
comics like Dilbert (I mean
managers and co-workers
really are stupid, aren't
they?!) and Garfield (I mean
Mondays really stink, don't
they?!), instead of letting Zippy and
Beetle Bailey confuse the
comics page (what the heck
are they talking about
anyway?) with their weird
(subversive?) takes on life
in these United States of

I agree with you that all of
those eggheads just don't
know what they're talking
about - Dilbert isn't some
commie like them, but rather
he did what they'd all like
to do, make fun of the people
who read the strip and make a
mint doing it.

It's a good thing that Suck
is around to remind people
how dangerous contrarians are
(maybe you're
contra-contrarians?!) and
that people should just shut
the hell up. Accept it, all
you lefties, PC bullshit is
so stupid.

Let's take back this country
from highbrow morons like
Bill Griffith of Levittown,
New York, and get back to the
comfortable middle ground of
CEOs like Scott Adams.

I guess for some it's like
analyzing people who analyze
the comics page.

Jay Brida

Like all capitalist
underdogs, Adams lives in a
big, big house. That's so his
oppression (in this case by
the forces of PC) doesn't
drive him crazy.


Fish With Letter Icon

Subject: Blondie

If you are going to goof off
on Blondie being a comic
about class, you probably
ought to remember that
originally Dagwood was veddy,
veddy, upper-crust, and
Blondie was a gold digger.
When D married B, he was
disinherited and had to get a
(gasp, horrors!) job.

Margaret J. Campbell

I actually don't go back that
far with Blondie. But in any
case, my point still holds.
Criticizing the funny pages
for not covering class
conflict is like criticizing
the business page for not
being funny - a waste of


Fish With Letter Icon

Cartoons is as cartoons does.

If you don't like the boss,
take a hike down the street
and find a new one. Real

Those folks in Washingtoon
ought to take a trip out here
to the old SillyCone Valley
and get a glimpse of what
life is really like. It's
definitely not a Dilbert
cartoon. No, it's much

Thank God I don't live in the
center of the land of the
free and the home of those
with way too much time on
their hands.


As long as you're the one
writing the email and not the
one building the chips,
life's a blast! The man can't
bust our bandwidth!


Fish With Letter Icon

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