The Fish
for 8 October 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


Erin Coull
Production Manager


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Filler: The Poor Are

It shouldn't really amaze me
whenever I see media orifices
moan in public about income
distribution. But by
pretending Social Security is
anything other than the
biggest scam of the century -
well, I just wonder where you
left your bullshit detectors.
In fact, that Filler almost
makes me sympathetic to the
Communist Chinese, who
groused on the eve of
takeover that Dick Patton
tried to con Hong Kong
citizens into similar
flim-flam. Regardless, the
mighty hog pen that is the US
of A is still a fine place
for the poor; nobody really
starves, and, despite wailing
and gnashing of teeth, there
aren't really any
"uprisings," just knavery
wearing the emperor's new
clothes of progressive

Robert L. McMillin

One of my favorite chapter
titles ever, by Cynthia
Heimel, is: "Rich People:
Blow Me."

Exactly the level of bratty
juvenility that the
filthy-wilthy wealthy dish
out in healthy doses every
day of their lives, only
vaguely veiled by indignant
references to "Communist
China" and "The Soviet
Union," as if these two
countries somehow magically
justify the rich's right to
hideous decadence. "It works
best this way, see?"

The horrifying conditions
that the poor in this country
endure (outlined
heartbreakingly by Jonathan
Kozol in Amazing Grace) are
just groovy with you, just as
long as they're not starving,
right? Let's put your
lily-white ass in the South
Bronx, and we'll see how fast
you start whistling "We Shall


Fish With Letter Icon


Just made a decision today to
quit my job in the valley and
go get a job in Seattle.
Sure, it only pays 25 percent
of what it does in the
valley, but I'd rather see my
kids on a daily basis than
sit around and stare at piles
of cash.

So, your article was
well-timed, to say the least.

[Name Withheld]

Wow. The only thing I'd
rather hear is that you read
the article, then quit your
job. The real question is,
would your kids rather see
you more often, or would they
rather be rich?

Going for the cheap laughs


Fish With Letter Icon

Subject: Rich fucks

You guys just crack me up.
Where would any
self-respecting software
hippie be without Suck?
Probably wallowing without
guilt in the swimming pool
filled with money. The chart
on the index page has Paul
Allen written all over it.
Much to my amusement.

Dr. Benway

Fish With Letter Icon

Miss Judged

Subject: Miss America

I find it sad that while
criticizing Miss Hawaii's
homophobia, your own rhetoric
devolves into musings about a
conspiracy of makeup artists
and gay male dancers. I'd
assume you clever people
would mark your own
indulgence in stereotyping
with a sense of self-irony.
Leveling humorous criticisms
at people for their
prejudices while showing no
realization of your own
prejudices isn't very funny.
Was I wrong in thinking Suck
wasn't just one of those
publications going for the
cheap laugh?

Andy Micone


Fish With Letter Icon

As another bitter woman - I
read "Miss Judged" with a
great deal of interest (and
really enjoyed the link from
the word "sick").

I am tired of the hippest,
coolest, and newest trend -
BORING. I would much rather
read sarcastic commentary
from disenchanted folks like
myself, who, while
recognizing that the world is
going to hell in a hand
basket, do more than just
bemoan their fate and wring
their hands.

Suck sucks better than any
publication I have ever read
- I am in love.


Ann "I'm white trash, just
ejimicated white trash"

I thought we were the
hippest, coolest, and newest
trend. Damn it.

Bemoaning my fate and
wringing my hands,

Just Another Bitter Woman

Fish With Letter Icon

The continuing existence of
the Miss America pageant
merely highlights the
deepening chasm between urban
and rural America. Sure, the
pageant looks like some sort
of perverse flashback to a
largely urban intelligentsia,
but in much of rural America -
which remains a
considerable demographic base -
it is a more or less
accurate portrayal of ongoing
gender relations.

City people can't even
believe the influence things
like the Christian Coalition
and the Promise Keepers of
America have on a big part of
this country. City dwellers
can't quite bring ourselves
to believe that tens of
millions of Americans live in
towns where coming out can
put you at immediate, serious
risk of bodily harm. From our
perspective, hearing about
small-town America is like
hearing about a different
country. Might as well be
Bosnia for chrissakes....

As for the wage gap - why on
earth wouldn't it grow?
Millions of women in this
country live in communities
where the most archaic and
demeaning outbreaks of
misogyny are the norm, not
the exception. The only
tragedy is that those of us
who live in cities and are
not confronted with such
misogyny come to regard it as
an amusing freak show, rather
than a symptom of a massive
split in the nation's value

... But then again, I'm all
for bellybuttons....

Francisco Toro

You're absolutely right.
Many, many people in this
country - not just the ones
who participate in beauty
pageants - would seem
surprisingly archaic to
urbanites. On the other hand,
I think city folk visit towns
smaller than, say, Seattle,
and immediately assume that
everyone there is some kind
of backwoods freak with a
shotgun who fries up possums
for dinner every night.

Makes you wanna pull out yer
shotgun and blow their
city-folk heads clean off.

Just Another Bitter Woman

Fish With Letter Icon

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