The Fish
for 17 September 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


[John 'too tall' Pike]
John Pike
Production Manager


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Saturday Morning Cartoons

I'm glad that Suck had this
week-long trip down retro
lane and appropriately ran
your pretty little ditty on
Saturday Morning Cartoons'
Greatest Hits. I was one of
the unfortunates to receive
this album promo and become
elated that its nostalgia
would kick me in right in the
Underoos (I never owned a
pair of Underoos). However,
as you so eloquently stated,
"... you may find yourself
waxing nostalgic for your
memories instead of the "real
thing."" It has been like
that with the entire "Let's
talk about how great Saturday
morning cartoons used to be
when we were kids" debate. I
am a product of this time
period you speak of, and
catching an episode of
Sigmund The Sea Monster on
some cable channel late at
night recently made me cringe
at how there isn't as much
happening in the background
as I remember (although
WitcheyPoo still scared me).
Furthermore, seeing the
Buggaloos or Superfriends Power
both left me with a
feeling of emptiness. Where
is the nostalgia from that
time period? Is it just
better left encapsulated in
our minds? Or is there some
Honeycomb commercial I'm
going to see that is going to
spark my desire to be young
again sitting three inches
from the TV at seven in the
morning (before the folks are

Thanks for your article. It
furthers my complacency with
memory loss.

Bjorn Pave Systems Tech
Ventura County Star

Cartoons without that bowl of
Honeycombs = Cheech and Chong
movies without ...

Uh ... forget it.

Fish With Letter Icon

Royal Icing

Every now and then, I read
Suck and think, "Wow. This is
going to be a really good
week in the Fish."

Keep angering the masses,

- beej

Read on.

Fish With Letter Icon

Subject: WOW

Whoa! That recent article
that you wrote on Monday 8
September for was
amazing. It looks at the
truth about what really
happened and rejects the
emotional ties people for
some unknown reason seem to
have about this issue. (I
really don't understand why
people in the United States
give a fart about England's
Royal dicks. They possess no
real power and have nothing
to do with our supposedly
anti-royalist government.)
Sure, the woman did some good
things, and she is an angel
compared to her slut-and-pimp
ex-family, but she's human.
How come no other do-gooder
gets this much attention? I
must admit that it is
humorous how quickly the
"straight" media turned on
their twins in the tabloid
field. I'll never forget Dan
Rather, who has done some
very paparazzi-type things in
his career, condemn these
people for their actions. As
that crack-smoking-
rabbit-screwing- singer from
Canada said, "Isn't it

Jacob Johnston

Glad it made sense ... I was
trying for a glimpse of the
truth, but I think that to
the extent I got it it was
through people's emotional
ties. Not the ones they cop
to, though. It's ironic and
other, worse stuff.


Fish With Letter Icon

Apple vs. Microsoft Fable

Funny, I though that the tag
line at the end was nothing
more than a (very good)
attempt at humor. A bon mot
tagged on the end to add even
more humor to an already
funny cartoon. Shows what I
know. All those years of
reading Swift, Miller, and
Shakespeare - lost! Wasted!
How could I miss the dread
seriousness of this piece?
How could I misinterpret its
drama as an attempt at black
humor, its interpretive art
as a mere cartoon, portraying
Gates as a taciturn boy, the
apple, with its fury, its je
ne c'est qua, that lends it a
rage worthy of Othello. I
must go, I cannot carry

Rob N.

Next time, try taking Suck -
and yourself - a little more

Fish With Letter Icon

Comments on the Fish

Apple lovers are like flies
who refuse to go into
business consulting because
their standards are too high,
so instead they're
desperately poor. Then they
get work in the local coffee
shop, pulling lattés
for business consultants
every morning. And flies who
are business consultants
don't tip very well.

Just out of curiosity, do you
use Macs or Wintel machines
to create your artwork?
Create your Web pages?

Even odds it's a Mac OS-based
machine. And BTW, you do look
silly with egg on your face.


See how it's done, Rob? When
you take Suck, and yourself,
seriously - like MuffinHead
here does - you get to take a
standard joke, meant only for
cheap laughs, and interpret
it, develop a personal
grudge, and then lash back at
its author with your
misguided misinterpretation.
Indeed, taking yourself and
Suck seriously can provide
hours of fun for the whole

Fish With Letter Icon

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