The Fish
for 2 September 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
Suck Staff
 

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Producer

 

Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director

 

Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor

 

[John 'too tall' Pike]
John Pike
Production Manager

 

Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

 

[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit









	
Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text
 

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman
Co-Founder

 

Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch
Suckgineer

 

Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor

 


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker

 

Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Filler

What are Pleather pants? Do
they have special pockets to
hold 12" singles?

Troy Sheets
<tsheets@saturn5.com>

No, but they have special
pockets to hold 9"... um,
things.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Every Tuesday I wait with
baited breath for the next
day's Filler. I wish I could
say it was the anticipation
of your prose that keeps me
awake, but its more likely
the cheap crack I smoked.
None the less I find myself
maddeningly empathizing with
your wit laced cynicism. How
can someone be so "whatever"
about everything, everything,
and be so intellectually
sexy.

I find myself in the middle of
night dreaming of bantering
with a Terry Colon caricature
of you only to wake up in an
empty bed and a cold sweat.
Ugh. I can only hope in this
continuum of space and time
that our paths may meet and
you look nothing like Mr.
Colon's drawings and we can
drink and do happy drugs and
verbally spit on people far
below our awareness of
reality. We could hate the
world together. Maybe even do
something we regret five
years from now.

<Name Withheld to Protect the Semi-Innocent>

Like eat a whole pint of Ben
and Jerry's Chubby Hubby in
one sitting? I don't have to
wait five years to do that -
I've got a pint in the
freezer right now... I'm
opening the freezer... I'm
getting a spoon... I'm
opening the lid, slooooowly.
Is this working for you?

I already spend a lot of my
time verbally spitting on
people far below my awareness
of reality. Usually this
means picking on the
6-year-old next door by
calling him names like
"Dodo-head" and "Stupid
Butt."

Send that cheap crack, though.

Polly

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

He's Lying

I am a repressed TV-watcher
who, after spending the day
staring at my monitor, goes
home and stares at the idiot
box for hours. I do find some
redemption in reading while
on the toilet, and of course
reading Suck while I should
be working (even when my boss
is standing 10 feet away). I
just want you to know that
your article helped with some
of my repression. I'm a bit
more open now. I might even,
one day, feel all right about
owning a 42" Mitsubishi with
DVD, satellite mini-dish,
surround-sound hookup, VCR,
six remote controls, and a
love seat.

Sincerely,
Eyes Sore

As we all know, the only thing
wrong with television is that
you can't really watch it on
the toilet, nor while you're
on the toilet, for that
matter (though we admit
much of the programming is
the shit). The only thing we
don't like about television
(as opposed to what's
inconvient about it) is that
it's become increasingly
difficult to avoid reading
while watching television.
Have you seen Pop Up Video
these days? Almost as much
information as a People
article!

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

James, you're dead-on. It's
like when Gilligan was tuning
in the radio on his fillings.
Or when Kotter had the
Sweathogs over and treated
them with respect. Or when
Johnny Fever's reaction time
improved when he got likkered
up. My point (and I do have
one) is this: Television is
the only thing Americans have
ever had in common with each
other. I stood in a
restaurant with a kid just
out of high school and a guy
who was 20 years older
than I talking about a
Beverly Hillbillies episode.
The generations were united,
albeit briefly. TV rocks.
Jethro (emerging from plane
just landed at Heathrow):
"Lafayette, we is here!"
Ellie: "That's France,
dummy!" Jethro: "Oh." (He
turns and heads back into the
plane.) That's about as good
as it gets.

Josh
<jcarroll@teleport.com>

Ah, yes, television is
America's scrap book. Albeit
one with most of our poor
relations and, er, black
sheep, cut out.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

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