The Fish
for 29 August 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


[John 'too tall' Pike]
John Pike
Production Manager


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

He's Lying

Señor Bong-

I dug your column today - a
lot, actually - but I
absolutely have to chide you
on the rape and murder bit. I
suspect this isn't the only
mail you'll get re: the same.

Tossing the blame for rape and
murder over your shoulder so
it lands on all those "evil
motherfuckers" is exactly as
pat and foolish as blaming it
on the idiot box. Scribble
this in your margin: What is
an evil motherfucker, and how
is one produced? Because evil
motherfuckers are produced,
if not with as much aplomb as
an ABC ad campaign. Talking
about ways - any ways - that
we might produce fewer rapists
and murderers: That is not
contemptible speech. You
sound as if you're either too
lazy or frightened to divide
it from the nonsense-rhetoric
of the Down with Television
camps. Asking us to toss our
tubes for their violence may
be ridiculous, but asking us
why we get so much pleasure
from watching those rapes and
murders.... I think that
question gets pretty serious
pretty quickly.

Damian Hess

We scribble a lot of things in
the margin, but usually no
one can read our handwriting.
Your missive, however, reads
quite clearly and its points
are hard to refute. The
debate as to whether evil
mofos are born or made will
probably continue long after
they're all tagged and
branded for easy
identification. Of course, by
then, we'll all be
electronically tethered. At
the moment, we're still
technically free, and the
only things keeping more evil
mofos from raising hell is
that they don't want to miss
Home Improvement.

Fish With Letter Icon

I'm wearing Eagle sneakers,
and no, these are thrift-shop

C. Holland

You don't care about fashion,
after all.... You're above

Fish With Letter Icon

Brand Extortion

As for Vonnegut's apparent
Judas-goating of those caught
in the web, "so it goes." I
only wish that Jerzy Kozinsky
was around to appreciate the
farce. After years of
success, he once (under an
assumed name) submitted the
transcript of his
prize-winning first novel,
The Painted Bird, to various
American publishers, all of
whom rejected it - including
the New York publisher that
originally accepted and
profited from it. He proved
his point(s): one, that
publication is a dicey
matter; and two, that you can
fool some of the people most
of the time - whatever the

If Kurt Vonnegut (who, for
Chrissy's sake, should
recognize a Twainian moment
when it happens) doesn't want
to go the way of, well, the
denizens of Galapagos, maybe
he should take another look
at the Web. Farce it up if
you have to, but don't assume
that it has a monopoly on
mass hysteria. To use the
most annoying mantra of all -
even more annoying than
Vonnegut's - "There is
nothing new under the sun."
We've been banking on fooling
some of the people most of
the time for almost exactly
two years now, but until the
Web has a monopoly on mass
hysteria, we probably won't
make a bankroll. But we'll
hold our breath until then,
because nothing's easier to
exploit for a profit than
mass hysteria. What I'm
really hoping, to be blunt,
is that you are not the one
who started the forward
madness attaching Vonnegut's
name to it, but are really
exhibiting the highest form
of spectacle-based branding,
seeing that no one else has
taken credit for it, and
claiming it as your own media

Because that would be sheer

Even if you did start it,
that's a pretty decent media
stunt, but if you didn't,
taking credit for it is truly
fantastically sick and


Suck: A Pretty Decent Media Stunt


Suck: Fantastically Sick and Beautiful?

You make the call.

Fish With Letter Icon

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