The Fish
for 18 August 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


[John 'too tall' Pike]
John Pike
Production Manager


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Copy Edit]
Copy Edit

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


T. Jay Fowler

Production Manager

& Ass Kicker


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

A Few Good Unmentionables

I wanted to get irate but I
couldn't stop smirking.
Where's the leak? When first
retired from the military I
spun in the revolving door in
order to stay involved but
never had access like this.
War may be hell but no war is
harder to cope with as you
obviously understand. As far
as military loathing for the
Commander-in-Chief is
concerned, can you imagine
how much worse it would be if
WJC actually had a vision for
America and some
understanding of the
relevance of military
preparedness? They're just
doing what they always do in
the absence of orders
(leadership); having a big
GI party.

David George

Hmm. Sounds a lot like high
school, except that trashing
the house might lead to
consequences a little more
dire than being grounded.

Fish With Letter Icon

Some Jingle Jangle Morning

I hate to be the one to break
it to you, but art
masquerading as advertising
and vice versa have been
around for some time. In
fact, the intellectual
shenanigans involved in
confusing the two was the
whole point behind the art of
Andy Warhol and others in the
pop art movement of the '60s.
The fact that ad people have
just now caught on to the
joke just goes to show you
how dumb some of these people
are. I personally believe
that, besides raising product
awareness to a national
level, advertising does very
little to really convince
people to buy a specific
product, and TV advertising
is really more about
communicating pop Zeitgeist
than anything else. But so
long as they want to keep
paying for programming - I
say fuckin' go at it!


Charles McClelland

Who is this Andy Warhol guy
you refer to?

Fish With Letter Icon

Self-Help Backlash

I guess everyone has their bad
days. Backlash didn't suck. I
myself am a Blandoid and
resonated deeply with the
blanduousity of this
sanitized crap ... that's how
I recognize its mediocrity.

It was a battle to read it to
completion and now I look
upon it as a monster. The
least you can do is throw me
into the Abyss.

Gimme a blandaid, I am
bleeding emotionally.


Blandaid?!! Funny, you just
used the Martian term for
Earthling self-help!


Fish With Letter Icon

A Few Good Unmentionables

Kelly Flinn got screwed?
Please. Most officers would
consider themselves amazingly
lucky to get off with a
general discharge after the
kind of behavior she
exhibited. Sleeping with an
enlisted man or woman is a
serious offense, although the
logic behind this seems to
escape the press and public.
How is an officer supposed to
maintain the kind of
impartiality and leadership
necessary to lead a group
into battle when one of the
troops is his or her lover?
Flinn also slept with an
enlisted woman's husband. I
shouldn't even need to go
into the kind of trouble this
can cause; how would you like
it if your boss was getting a
little on the side from your
spouse? It's quite possible
that knowing that might
hamper your effectiveness,
not to mention destroy any
credibility your supposed
leader has in your mind.
Finally, the most important
charge, lying to
investigators, needs no
explication. Perjury is an
unforgivable offense in a
court martial.

To say that Ralston got off
squeaky clean while Flinn was
"screwed" is clearly
preposterous. Ralston had an
affair 10 years ago with a
woman who had no connection
to the military while he was
seperated from his wife. To
compare this to an officer
seducing airmen and their
spouses, and lying to
investigators about it, is
not just unfair, it is

Mark Ashton


The suggestion that a military
person would have a problem
sending their lover into
battle shows that you haven't
followed the short-lived
affairs of Ralston and Flinn
too closely. Considering the
duration of most
relationships nowadays, the
problem won't be officers
keeping their lovers from the
frontline, it will be
restraining them from sending
an ex. There are two simple
solutions to this quandary:
no more war or no more sex.
Let's hope it's not up to the
defense industry to choose.

Fish With Letter Icon

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