The Fish
for 25 July 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager


Dear Mr Huck,

I enjoyed your piece about
prison technology, and was
reminded of a film called
Ghosts of the Civil Dead. It
was a low-budget Australian
effort from about 10 years
ago, set in an automated
prison complex not unlike the
ones that Sony is busy

The end of the film sees the
prison's most violent and
brutalized inmate, fresh out
on parole, wandering the
platforms of a bright new
underground railway station.
Soothing MuzaK fills the air,
everything is painted pastel,
video cameras watch him
unobtrusively from the

And he realizes he's still
inside, along with the rest
of us.


Tim Macdonald

Substitute ambient music for
Muzak, day-glo paint for
pastel, and it sounds
suspiciously like someplace
we used to work ... or maybe
we still do.

Fish With Letter Icon

I read Suck from time to time.
It never fails to amaze me
the amount of stuff that you
can find to complain about.
Not you particularly, but you
in the collective sense. Of
course I've gone and started
this letter in a tone that
would make this whole concept
out like it was a bad thing,
so I'll stop doing that right

About the prisons. It's true,
the speed with which the
public/public officials have
snapped back into the mindset
that defined the French
Revolution is something to
behold. Of course what makes
all this so pathetic is that
fact that it's about as
surprising as seeing It's a
Wonderful Life
on TV around
Xmas time. The list of
hallmarks associated with a
corroded soul could very
easily begin with the patent
inability to not stare at
someone else.

Of course, it's also worth
mentioning that there was
recently(?) a civil suit
brought to my attention, I'm
sure you've heard all about
it, I've seen that nothing
this ridiculous seems to
escape your attention.... Man
attempts to break into a
couple's nice suburban home
to rob them blind. In the
process of this attempted
break-in, he steps on a
skylight and tumbles his way
to a broken leg. He
subsequently sues this couple
for improperly lighting the
skylight and wins.

Now I'm not saying that the
Eye of Big Brother carefully
watching every drop of piss
that moves in a prison cell
is totally necessary, but
then bear in mind that you
have a collection of
criminals on your hands not
all of whom are stupid and
all of whom have at least at
one point in their life had a
lawyer - albeit maybe not
much of one.

Basically the equation goes
like this: Prison is afraid
prisoner might attempt to sue
them after he is shot in the
leg after killing three
guards in a failed escape
attempt. Prison has set up
video cameras covering every
square inch of facility to
prove that said prisoner
walked in front of the bullet
in an unlawful attempt to
gain undue financial

Stupidity and Stupidity
equals even more Stupidity -
but then I get the impression
that this is what the whole
publication is all about.

Anyway, I thought I would

Carolina Commission of
Concerned Weirdos

So, as a Concerned Weirdo, you
mean to bring to our
attention, via an epic poem,
that a stupid mythical
example justifies an endless
list of policies that go far
beyond stupid, right?

Thanks for sharing, Stupid.

Suck: Because Stupidity and
Stupidity Equals Even More

Fish With Letter Icon

How Do Rumors Get Started?

Why is it that Terry Colon's
artwork isn't given credit
except when accompanied by
Polly Esther's writing? Are
they an item or something?

Alan Smith

Codepedency is chicken soup
for the soul. That's all
we'll say at this time.

Fish With Letter Icon

Watching the Directives

Subject: Poopy Pants

I suppose, based on your
cynical exposé of
juxtaposition, that you have
yet to experience the thrill
of synchronicity. Easy for
someone who believes in
nothing to dismiss such
occurences as wishful

We are not really talking
about "our need to bring
certain texts to life." The
real issue here, IMHO, is
sour grapes. The emptiness of
your cynicism is used here to
cast doubt on what is
ultimately a transcendental,
spiritual human experience,
one you are apparently not
available to.

What are you afraid of?

Terren Suydam

Poopy pants, mostly.

Fish With Letter Icon

Subject: You

Hi there Joey,

I was up way late the other
night and I saw this PBS show
about the Net and content and
stuff, and there you were.

I thought you were pretty
good-looking. You're probably
asking yourself "can't this
guy find someone in his own
city?" Well, you've got the
right combination of looks
and intelligence that is hard
to find in Los Angeles.
Intelligence alone is hard to
find in LA at all.

So, if you like guys or wanna
give it a try, email me.

<Name Withheld>

While looks are obviously
pretty subjective, we still
think you should consider
having your TV checked out
for possible image-distortion

Besides, can't you find
someone in your own city?

Poopy pants!

Fish With Letter Icon

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