The Fish
for 4 July 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

The Bull Jar

Dorothy Allison definitely
rocked the house. What were
you thinking? Jesus.

Joey Manley

Hint: I was comparing her, as
a writer, to Anicka Rodman.

The dictionary calls this:
"The use of words to convey
the opposite of their literal
meaning." I looked closely
for evidence that you were
doing the same, and am still
not sure.

You rock the house, though, I
swear. If I'm ever in a bar
and hear someone bad-mouthing
Bastard Out of Carolina, I'll
steer 'em your way.


Fish With Letter Icon

Funny I should find this
column in my e-mail. I just
picked up Harlan Ellison's
Edgeworks 3 and prepared my
psyche for some good ole'
intellectual battery acid.
God know, I may have to get
something to read via
recycling, but it's better
than most of the crap
(re:Sturgeon's Law) out
there. Most of the time, it
still beats whatever's on TV.
On second thought, maybe I'll
just pick up my Devil's
and have a go at

Curt Masemore

If you're looking for
"intellectual battery acid,"
you might have a look at
Chicken Soup For the Soul or
Life's Little Instruction
two blasts of pure fire
from the ramparts. Or try
Everything I Need to Know I
Learned In Kindergarten
- if
you dare.

Oh, and hang in there on the
TV thing - rumor is Disney's
rolling out the all-new Suck
Channel on cable this summer.
Yow! Hot!


Fish With Letter Icon


Whilst the travails of you
dear Suck contributors never
fails to amuse me, despite
the time I devote to reading
a Suck column now averaging
something like 23 seconds, I
do have a hair to split with
you over your use of the word
parturition. It really is far
too gynaecological for use in
this context: perhaps, as a
Farancophile manque you were
thinking of the French
"parution" or appearance in
the sense of a publication.

Yours idly,


Note for future reference:
Don't tell people you spent
23 seconds reading their
stuff before you lecture them
about what they wrote. It's
like taking someone to bed
without asking their name.

Now. Suck - being, I believe,
50 percent girl - can NEVER
be "too gynecological," or
even "too gynaecological."
But it's an interesting

Your 23 seconds are up.


Fish With Letter Icon

The Bull Jar

Ha ha! I've only perused Suck
a few week now but I love it.
But, hey what's your take on
this persona you've
cultivated. And "fish in a
barrel" sure, but the last
few times I've read, the fish
have been mighty big. People
magazine and the publishing
industry are more like a
greased hippos in a sand
pale. I'm not in line at the
grocery store; considering
your likely audience I think
you're preaching to the

Bill Jackson

"Greased hippos in a sand
pale?" Is that some kind of
sly and knowing reference to
my in-laws? Not very nice, if
it is.

And please bring your computer
to the grocery store. This is
the Suck plan to enhance the
size of our likely audience,
if I'm not mistaken, and I
think it's clever as hell.
Thank you.


Fish With Letter Icon

I'm waiting for a new book to
be released by a dead author.
Remember the "dead politician
that was elected" urban
legend? I can't wait for
Harry Truman to come out with
a testimonial to the American
spirit later this month.
Watch out NY Times!

As ever,

Lee Azzarello
Minister of Propaganda

There've been SEVERAL books
released by a dead author.
His name is "Norman Mailer."

And actually, Harry Truman IS
coming out with a new book
later this month. Funny that
you use "coming out." "Dead
Presidents Don't Bounce
," a
tell-all on Truman's years
with the bad boy of
basketball, should shoot
straight to the top of the
bestseller lists. Harry T.
drops a bomb on the book
world! Oof!


Fish With Letter Icon

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