The Fish
for 16 June 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager


Hipster Elitist:

Likes: Indie cred and jazz,
festivals, fresh basil with
melted cheese on garlic

Dislikes: Elitists, hipsters,
dishonesty, Wink, martians,
and hypocrisy

Fatal flaw: Immutable sense of

Highest compliment: "You're
such a freak."

Tone: Confused, neurotic,
slightly insecure

Real talent: Masking confusion
with overt declarations of
how connected everything is

Justification for consumer
choices: "I don't know why I
like it. Whatever."

Guidance for consumer choices:
His/her dog would want to
chew it

Goal in life: To make money by
remaining true to oneself
while pursuing some

Secret desire: To betray dog
and live at film festivals

Thanks for the funnies,

Bridget Bryson

Fish With Letter Icon

OK, I've got one!

The Bitter New-Media
disContent Provider

Likes: Interiors, prosciutto,
easy targets, crack

Dislikes: Bad coffee,
Details, being surrounded by
phonies, being associated
with the words "New Media"

Fatal flaw: Belief that
happiness requires stupidity
and money

Highest compliment: Not
criticizing something

Tone: Bitter

Real talent: Taking a shit
every day and passing it off
as enlightenment

Justification for consumer
choices: "I like what I like:

Guidance for consumer choices:
Crack addiction

Goal in life: Write the novel
that shows what putzes
Messrs. Coupland and Bronson
really are ... when she gets
around to it

Secret desire: To fuck with

Craig Demel
<krusty @slumbering.>

That's "To fuck Mulder" not
"To fuck with Scully."

Maybe I'll let the readers
write Filler from now on. The
one stipulation will be that
you can only write about ME.
The Fish can have an
occasional guest appearance,
but that's it - oh, and of
course you'll have to include
our favorite whipping boy
[Whipping woman. And I prefer
to think of myself as feared
and loathed, not merely
resented. - ed.], Ana. But
other than that, it'll just
be about me. Kind of like
Cathy, except less funny.

Regular and richly rewarded
for it,


P.S. In the cartoon, I'd like
to have a little dog named
Sponge who's clearly a lot
smarter than me and who makes
wiseass quips, bites the hand
that feeds, etc.

Fish With Letter Icon

A Midrash's Nightmares

Just a note to say that the
piece was very good today.
However ...

I was a bit surprised to read:

"Thus, one may plausibly
argue that Messrs. Beavis and
Butt-head brought midrash to
the masses back in 1993...."

That would only be argued by
those who forget the
existence of the TV series
Mystery Science Theater
which debuted five
years earlier with a premise
that was later scandalously
appropriated by Mssrs. Beavis
and Butt-head. Any credit (or
blame) for the growing surge
in the recent popularity of
real-time commentary on
trashy pop culture should be
given where it is properly

But I believe it is a mistake
to call the premise of either
series "novel." Actually, the
person I would credit with
bringing midrash to the
masses would be ol' Willy
Shakespeare - I refer you to
act 5 of A Midsummer Night's
in which the
characters gloss a play
within the play. Not the
first or last time for Willy
or for many scribblers before
him, back to the days of
Greek theatrics.

In other words, there's
nothing new under the sun.

Chris Cornell

Uncle. You totally and utterly
win. Especially that part
about Shakespeare - whoa! My
only possible excuse is that
I myself didn't have cable
until 1993.

Actually, MST3K differs (as
does Shakespeare, for that
matter) in that at least Joel
et al. sniff at real movies.
Somehow B&B's carping
about the quality of pop
music commercials strikes me
as an almost transcendent
upping of the ante.

To be fair, though, there is
some real midrash in The
Fifth Element.
When Diva
Plava Laguna sings that aria
from Lucia di Lammermoor
(before it turns into a
disco/kung fu montage), the
translation runs (in part):

"I've escaped from your
enemies. There's a chill in
my bosom.... The fearsome
ghost would part us!... It is
time for the holy rites....
Holy torches glow about us!
The minister is here!..."

Interesting, no?



Fish With Letter Icon

Isn't "hackneyed
cliché" a hackneyed

Just wondering.

Fraser Cole
Chicago, IL

You've got me there. You've
got me dead to rights. Yup.
You're right as rain. Right
on the money. You've really
hit the nail on head.

Thanks for writing,


Fish With Letter Icon

Great article.

But how come you didn't take a
shot somewhere along the
lines of "marketing this fake
interconnectedness crap is a
clear sign that enough folks
are sucking the dummy pipe
that the marketroids have
picked up on it as a

Just wondering,


I'm not sure "the marketroids"
didn't start this trend all
by themselves. (Very
Pynchonesque formulation,
"marketroids.") Maybe all
those Madison Avenue types
read Gravity's Rainbow and
sucked the dummy pipe too
much themselves in college.
Regardless, you know the
strategy is complete when you
see Mason & Dixon being
flogged as "the perfect
summer read," thus completing
a chain: Highfalutin'
metacommentary sells -->
random pop-culture references
sell --> highfalutin'
metacommentary sold as random
pop-culture references sells.



Fish With Letter Icon

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