The Fish
for 9 June 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
Suck Staff
 

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Producer

 

Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director

 

Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor

 

T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker

 

Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor









	
Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text
 

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman
Co-Founder

 

Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch
Suckgineer

 

Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor

 

Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Urban Hipster "Value" System

Thanks to your article, I have
seen the error of my ways. I
will now give my Doc Martins
away to charity, throw out my
favorite alterna-pop CDs, cut
my hair to above my
shoulders, and get a real
job, an IRA, HMO, and buy
some US savings bonds, as
well as finish my education
to improve my grammar.
Thanks, I couldn't have done
it without you. It must have
been, like, fate, or
something.

Sincerely,

Gianpaolo Baglione
<bagliong@tcsnet.net>

It seems you were the only one
to understand or, you know,
"get" the message in the
Urban Hipster Value Meal
Filler. Donating Doc Marten's
and alterna-pop CDs is
certainly a good first step,
but have you also considered
contributing some of those
hipster clothes and
refinished, thrift-shop
furniture items? There are
plenty of underprivileged
hipsters out there who'd
really appreciate your
contribution. Also, when
you're done with that unreal
or surreal job, maybe you
could pass it on to a needy
hipster currently burdened by
the needless limitations of a
real job....

Polly

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

I dig your sarcasm, but it's
pretty scary how many people
are unaccountable for their
actions. Have we as humans
really stooped to such a raw,
base level, that all we want
to do is to see how many
times we can screw (both
literally and figuratively)
others and get away with it?

<Cdgdesign@aol.com>

Yes.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Polly,

You folks are always clever
writers, but I prefer it when
you integrate your writing
and humor with a selection of
Web sites that back up your
main point or theme. I always
found Suck to be a great way
to find out what's happening
on the Web.

These humorous caricatures
(Urban Hipster, et al.) fall
short of the interactive
nature that you achieved with
your previous postings. I
could read this kind of stuff
in a magazine, but I can't
get the live Web links in a
magazine. I for one am losing
interest in Suck as these
kinds of columns replace the
older versions.

Just my two fresh fish for the
day.... Thanks for the past
... with hopes for the
future!

Larry Laufenberg
<larryla@sco.COM>

"I could read this kind of
stuff in a magazine"? Which
one? Time? Buzz? Perhaps
Abrasives Magazine? Actually, the
harmonic convergence of media
justifies the general
solipsism of Suck in general,
but not in Filler.

Filler (which appears on
Wednesdays - there is a
pattern to the madness) will
not include such links,
generally, as I'm not exactly
sure what's happening on the
Web, nor am I exactly sure I
want to be more sure.

Fostering ignorance frees up
your schedule like you
wouldn't believe.

Polly

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Fit to be Tie-Died

Didn't you ever hear "write
what you know"? Fine for you
twerps to whine about the
'60s (admit it - you're
jealous), but don't confuse
the hippies with the
"Me-Generation." That was the
'70s, when teenagers
jettisoned the group-love
fantasy of their older
brothers and sisters and
adopted the "what's in it for
me" cynicism of Watergate,
the retreat from Vietnam, and
disco. It's harder to whine
about boomers of the '70s
because we, like our hero
John Travolta, have moved on
to bigger and better things
(like high-paying jobs).

Please keep producing your
confused screeds. I promise
not to apply to work there.

Rob Bradlee
<bradlee
@pandora.drc.com>

Ooo, and you sound much, much
better than those hippies.
"Our hero John Travolta"?
Maybe you should apply to
work here, just to keep the
office culturally diverse.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Normally I salivate at the
latest offerings in
hypersarcasm I get from my
daily suck read.

But bashing hippies, however
timely recent events may make
it, is an old joke.

The fact is that yeah, a lot
of "hippies" cashed in, but
so did "punks," and if you
look at the way the Chemical
Brothers are going over on
MTV, it looks like the
"ravers" are now, too
(actually most of them were
in it for the money from the
beginning I think).

But guess what? For every
bloated indulgence in '60s
nostalgia you can give me,
such as bashing the Woodstock
theme park, bashing The
Well's ideological stance on
"community" (hell, that shit
made me cancel my initial
account there back in the
early '90s), I can give you a
regional Rainbow Family
Gathering (still no money
allowed after 20 years!) or a
free party with bad bands in
the park of your choice.

Hippies never died, they just
got younger and started
listening to the Orb and
Phish after Jerry kicked it.

signed, an:

ex-punk
ex-hippie
ex-raver

It's our own peculiar vice
that we can't leave well
enough alone. It's just so
much fun to harp on those
dang hippies.

As you point out, there's
never been a shortage of
sellouts - god knows, we
count ourselves among 'em.

Best wishes,

E.L. Skinner

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

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