The Fish
for 2 June 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor


Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Filler: Urban Hipsters

It's nice to know how times
haven't changed my hometown.
Your article reminded me of
playing all those dingy SF
clubs like The Savoy Tivoli,
Mabuhay Gardens, The On
Broadway, etc., etc....
Everyone still sounds the
same in the pursuit of
"absolute" hipness. Even the
music from that era has come
around again! Can't wait for
the next installment from
your acerbic pen!

Colin Chin

More proof that the roots of
alienation lie as much in
ignorance as in scorn (see
also: sour grapes). Five
years in San Francisco and I
haven't heard of a single one
of those clubs. I guess I
abandoned the pursuit of
absolute hipness long ago
(see also: "I Don't Care What Other People Think"). Either that
or I've had my head in the
sand. Unfortunately, just
as disgust with
pseudointellectuals can turn
you away from cultural
anthropology or literary
theory at an early age,
there's a fine line between
willfully avoiding hipness
and fostering ignorance.

Still dumb and out of touch,


Fish With Letter Icon

I thought your rant was great.
(I won't say it was hip cause
I'm not sure if it was and if
I said it was and it wasn't
then everyone else who may or
may not be hip might think I
wasn't). But don't get me
wrong, I can think for

Having grown up in the '60s
and having been a "real"
rebel against society I can
say I learned two things
about being hip. First it's
not about being hip. It's
about being different. And if
you're different, half the
people will think you're cool
and the other half will rag
on you mercilessly. But there
is no middle of the road. The
only problem is in my day you
knew exactly what normal
society was. Now - who knows?
I mean, I protested against
the war, and took acid ...
but now I consider having a
401(k) plan subversive. Hey,
you're a hippy, it's your

What was the second thing I
learned? Don't ever use the
"in my generation" statement.
It's a sure sign that you're
ready for the rocking chair.
I may not have a tattoo or a
ring in some weird part of my
body but from time to time
you'll still see me blasting
down the freeway, exceeding
the speed limit, windows
open, with the stereo at
ear-damaging levels. The
song? "We Don't Get Fooled
Again!! No No No...."

Gotta go (Gonna surf the Net.

Clinton Tillman

Thanks for writing, Clinton.
In my generation, not only
don't we exceed the speed
limit or set the stereo to
ear-damaging levels in
pursuit of "real" rebel
status, we generally try to
avoid "talking 'bout my
generation." Or listening to
The Who, for that matter.

Certain that we will get
fooled again,


Fish With Letter Icon

Filler: Urban Hipster Mantras

Step 1: Pick something you
like! -OR- Pick something you
don't like!

OK. Picked.

Step 2: Pick some glib, empty,
or ironic rationalization for
why you like or don't like

Glibly, he wrote: Suck doesn't

"Suck has so much more, shall
we say, 'depth' than Reader's
" he said emptily.

"I like Suck because Suck is
such a witty jab at the
stuck-up bourgeois
nose-in-the-air zeitgeist of
the wayer new media I
actually hate, thereby
producing a truly ironic
paradigm within my
contemporaneous Gen-X
anti-slacker slackdom (which
of course doesn't actually
exist, c.f. "We're all
Individuals!" Python, Monty,
Life of Brian), not to
mention keeping my admittedly
unrealistic devourings of
Wired in a sort of
disillusioned haze since all
the parties involved
apparently sleep together
while doing crack and
collecting Microsoft ad
revenue checks, which in and
of itself isn't bad
whatsoever - God, I really
wouldn't mind that myself -
except for the inherent
sell-out badness of it all,
countered by their admission
of sell-out ... nay,
celebration thereof and so
forth. I need a vodka tonic
IV, stat."

Robert Daeley

Now this is what we like:
Feedback from readers
dangling at the brink of

But, um, are you sure that
people at Wired have parties
where everybody sleeps
together and does crack? Holy
shit, we'd really better get
on that internal mailing

Fish With Letter Icon

Anne of Spleen Fables

Subject: boring

Over it.

Don't you ever get tired of
writing the same damn thing
every day?

Anne O'Neil

Ah. The "Done That" Groan with
a twist of the "Poor You" Jab
for added shame. You're good!
But actually, I don't get
tired of writing the same
damn thing every day. I'm
kind of dim-witted and easily
entertained. But don't feel
sorry for me; they take good
care of me here at Suck.
Clean nappies every few
hours, three squares a day,
and just enough peanut butter
on my sammies (that's my
special little name for
sandwiches!) - all for the
same old rehashed jokes, day
in and day out. It's a pretty
nice deal, you betcha!

But hey! I'm not so slow that
I'm not jealous of you -
Ziff-Davis! That place must
be nonstop excitement! Thanks
a whole bunch for taking some
time out of your
thrill-a-minute job to write
me, I'm real, real,
flattered, oh boy!


Fish With Letter Icon

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