The Fish
for 26 May 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
Suck Staff
 

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Producer

 

Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director

 

Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor

 

T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker

 

Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor









	
Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text
 

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman
Co-Founder

 

Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch
Suckgineer

 

Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor

 

Matt Beer
Matt Beer
Development Manager

Hit and Run

Dear Sucksters,

I have recently discovered
your site and enjoy reading
the articles. I particularly
like your two-dimensional
writing style (three
dimensional, if you count the
"width" of the columns) that
leads the reader to deeper
understanding though links.
However, in a recent article,
you used the word
"omphaloskepsis" without
bothering to elaboarate or
provide it with a link. I was
forced to use the Hypertext
Webster Interface
http://c.gp.cs.cmu.edu:5103/
prog/webster?omphaloskepsis

to learn:

omphaloskepsis n:
contemplation of one's navel

In the future, please do not
assume a minimum education
level for your readership.

Roger L Halsey
<rlhalsey@bechtel.com>

We don't assume a minimum
education level for our
readership, we fully expect
them to not understand a word we
say. Thanks for ruining
things, Roger. Now they'll
understand at least one word,
but maybe we can cut them off
at two. Not that it'll be
hard. Sometimes we don't even
understand what we're talking
about ourselves.

Just kidding. We did it to
piss you off.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

It's not enough to have my
mail to "beers@suck.com"
bounced back to me twice
after complaining about the
reappearance of "omphalos" in
yesterday's column. You've
got to use "omphaloskepsis"
in today's column. This has
got to stop.

Are you reaching for a
"nubbins" of your very own? I
read Spy's mail-room column
in the late '80's. I know
nubbins. Omphalos is no
nubbins - it's way too
high-falootin' of a word to
be taken into the readers'
hearts. Please, please
reconsider your choice of
words.

Nubbins forever,

Kara Catherwood
<Kara@osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu>

We're not trying to be taken
into our readers' hearts,
we're trying to piss you off,
Kara.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Smart Little Islands

Congrats, fellas,

You've restored my faith in
the Net by showing the rest
of the world that little
islands of intelligent sites
can and do exist in the
electronic sea of ghost
sites, bunk, and other
worthless crap. You've got
yourself a new reader (and
contributer for commentary
about movies if need be).

Todd Miller
<toddm@demco.com>

Now how are we supposed to
take your flattery to heart
when you follow it up with an
offer to write? And how are
we supposed to take your
offer to write to heart when
you start out by flattering
us? That's not even to tackle
your use of "congrats" and
"fellas"....

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Stinky Fish

I just got back from a
vacation, caught up on my
Suck via the archives - but
the old Fish links all point
at today's fresh Fish instead
of that day's fare. Now that
all the best writing is
appearing on the Fish page,
shouldn't you be archiving it
as well?

William Welch
<welch@pinch.arris.com>

No.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

The Art of Self-Contradiction

Subject: Advances in Late
Capitalism

Dear Sucksters,

When I tuned in this morning
for my daily dose of Suck I
found, sitting side by side
at the bottom of my screen,
an ad for condoms and one for
TechShopper ("We waste money
so you don't have to"). The
use of one would surely
preclude the use of the
other. For years you have
been turning
self-contradiction into an
art form: admirable,
certainly, but nothing new.
Now, though, you have turned
it into advertising sales.
This, I think, represents a
real advance in Western
civilization. Keep up the
good work.

Sincerely,

Jotham Parsons
<jparsons@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu>

We appreciate your
encouragement, JP. (Can we
call you JP?) But we really
haven't been doing this for
"years".... Seems like
decades though, haw haw haw.
At least in terms of our
tendency to throw out tired
jokes like old timers on
their sixth snifter. But
actually, our second birthday
comes up at the end of
August. Maybe by the end of
the year we'll even be
potty-trained.

Anyway, thanks for recognizing
what a difference we're
making in the world.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

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