Shock It up to Experience
Ann,
You constantly surprise and
titillate. Your writing
leaves me awe inspired. I
follow your writings in Suck
and Wired and I am
perpetually pleased by your
clever insightfulness and
no-nonsense philosophizing. I
am truly a fan, you give me
hope that "life in the modern
world" is not completely
drained of the kind of witty
cynicism you provide.
Thanks,
Rebecca
<Rebecca_Garcia@prxinc.com>
Mom,
I told you to stop writing me
at work - you're not fooling
anyone and it doesn't help.
Just hit Reload a lot, OK?
Ann
Though I normally find Suck
witty and entertaining, today
(11 March 1997) was brilliant: I
actually laughed out loud,
bringing to an end a hideous
social disease that has
plagued me since I was a
childhood guest on the Bozo
Show. Great job. Keep it
coming.
Dan Nawara <danboy@synet.net>
Thanks for the kind words. But
is the Bozo Show some kind of
showcase for children
afflicted by social diseases
that keep them from laughing?
If so, why the hell didn't we
know about it way back when?
We would've been huge!
In Search of ... Sanrio
Hi!!
My name is Mariel Ortega, and
I'm from Mexico. I will go to
San Antonio, Texas, in the
next days and I want to know
where is the Sanrio Store in
this city. If you know where
is it please tell me, or if
you don't know please say
where can I search this
information. And please
answer me fast.
Sorry for the letter but my
English isn't very well.
Thank you again and see you
!!!
<marielortega@usa.net>
Granted, Mariel, we don't know
the first thing about Mexican
geography, but San Francisco
and San Antonio are pretty
far away from each other. And
while there is, in fact, a
Sanrio in San Francisco,
somehow we find it less
likely that there would be
one in San Antonio. We think
maybe you're a little too
wrapped up in prefix "San" and
suffix "-o".
Capital Fame Tax
First decent Suck in quite a
while. I didn't know Ms.
Albright was a Jew. I have
heard that the Florida Orange
Juice Association offered
O.J. US$10 mil to change his
name to Snapple.
Dean Mc Adams
<garagemedia@earthlink.net>
We keep getting similar
offers from porn sites - to
change our moniker, not for
$10 mil. Guess we give
sucking a bad name. For $10
mil, of course, we'd gladly
call ourselves O. J.
Wish We Could Help....
A bed, some rope, and a
cellular phone
Dr. Pinky
<chinzi@ptialaska.net>
This is exactly the kind of
confusion those porn sites
are worried about....
The Office Home
Spanker Harder
Has no one at Suck or Flux
taken note of the irony that
Spanker, who once served
undeserved cease-and-desist
papers to the folks at
Spanq!, an AOL property, is
now relaxing his sphincter
for the "corporate
jellyfingers" themselves?
PF <pfpf@sirius.com>
Spanker's corporate probing
concerns us almost as much as
Rodman's hair color. Besides,
we're all still just birds in
cages... though some of us
are mockingbirds and others
are dodos....
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