The Fish
for 21 February 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor


T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Editor


Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman


Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch



Congrats to you and Terry on
Troubleshooting with
Management and the Virtual

It's almost scary how true it
is... I'm definitely going to
tell people at work about
your page. You have an
exquisitely edgy sense of
humor and Terry's beatnik/Ren
& Stimpy/Jetsons-style makes
for cool art!

Still laughing,

Natalka Herman

I'm really glad you called
that old geezer Terry a
beatnik. He'll be very
honored... he even knows what
it means! Like coolsville,


Fish With Letter Icon

GIF the Cops a Call

To: Ann O' Tate

Am I wrong?

Andrew Davidson

it's a joke gif, you'd have to see it to understand

Er, do i know you?

More importantly, should I
call the police?


Fish With Letter Icon

Sex Muffins

Discover the secret to a wild
and wonderful sex life!
Delicious muffin pumps up
passion to incredible levels!
All natural ingredients. Get
the complete report plus the

Millions of people around the
world, from all walks of life
have discovered this magical
formula. They report
increased awareness, elevated
passion levels, and greater
sexual energy!

In order to rush this valuable
information to you, we need
this ORDER FORM to accompany
your request please...

Thanks for your time and may
God bless and enrich your

Uh, don't you mean "may God
bless and enrich your SEX
life"? But these muffins
won't actually enrich our sex
lives if we're not getting
any, will they, now? How
about a "Improve Your Rap"
Muffin or a "Learn to Live
Without" Muffin?

Besides, to improve your sex
life, all you have to do is
say the word "muffin" a lot
more, preferably to a member
of the target sex. Muffin.
Mmmuffin. Hello mmmuffin.


Fish With Letter Icon

On Suck

Dear Sucksters,

Hoo, have you taken
AltaVista's new LiveTopics
search engine tool out for a
spin yet? I'm not sure it's
working right. I used it to
help me fashion the following

+host:suck +crack +addled
+hype -courtesy -credibility

but it couldn't find a durn

Steven M. O'Neill

Nice! Try this one instead:

+host:suck +smartass
+brilliant +insight
-stupidity -boredom 

It doesn't work either! Durn
thing must be broken.

Fish With Letter Icon

Mouseburger Royale

Regarding the new editor of
Cosmo - so what's your
problem with Canadians,
"former" or otherwise? It's
not clear how her birthplace
affects her ability to do the

Laurel Bowman

If we knew the answer to that
one, we wouldn't be writing
for this bullshit website,
we'd be award-winning

Fish With Letter Icon

Filler Archives

Why can't I get at the Filler
beyond December?
There are links for it all
over... and they don't
resolve! I want my Filler! I like my

Sebastian Hassinger

Filler since December is
archived on the Daily
, which is accessed
through the Barrel page.
Soon, there will also be a
complete Filler Archive.
(Please note: the definition
of "soon" is taken from the
production editor's Manual of
: adv., referring to
"whenever I have time to get
to it.")

Fish With Letter Icon

Microsoft Ads

Hey, I've got an idea! How
about you adjust your frames
so you can devote HALF of
your web page to Microsoft

Eric Maika <>

Great idea, Eric! This one
ranks up there with Canadian
bacon, without which
pineapple pizza just wouldn't
be the same. We thank you!

Fish With Letter Icon

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