The Fish
for 21 February 1997. Updated every WEEKDAY.
 
 
Suck Staff
 

Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff
Producer

 

Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director

 

Ana Marie Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor

 

T. Jay (the man) Fowler
T. Jay Fowler
Production Editor

 

Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

 

Owen Thomas
Owen Thomas
Copy Editor









Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text
 

Carl Steadman
Carl Steadman
Co-Founder

 

Sean (Duuuuude) Welch
Sean Welch
Suckgineer


 

Filler

Congrats to you and Terry on
Troubleshooting with
Management and the Virtual
Workplace!!!

It's almost scary how true it
is... I'm definitely going to
tell people at work about
your page. You have an
exquisitely edgy sense of
humor and Terry's beatnik/Ren
& Stimpy/Jetsons-style makes
for cool art!

Still laughing,

Natalka Herman
<natalka@idt.net>

I'm really glad you called
that old geezer Terry a
beatnik. He'll be very
honored... he even knows what
it means! Like coolsville,
daddy-o!

Polly

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

GIF the Cops a Call

To: Ann O' Tate

Am I wrong?

Andrew Davidson
<under@voicenet.com>

it's a joke gif, you'd have to see it to understand

Er, do i know you?

More importantly, should I
call the police?

Ann

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Sex Muffins

Discover the secret to a wild
and wonderful sex life!
Delicious muffin pumps up
passion to incredible levels!
All natural ingredients. Get
the complete report plus the
recipe.

Millions of people around the
world, from all walks of life
have discovered this magical
formula. They report
increased awareness, elevated
passion levels, and greater
sexual energy!

In order to rush this valuable
information to you, we need
this ORDER FORM to accompany
your request please...

Thanks for your time and may
God bless and enrich your
life.

Uh, don't you mean "may God
bless and enrich your SEX
life"? But these muffins
won't actually enrich our sex
lives if we're not getting
any, will they, now? How
about a "Improve Your Rap"
Muffin or a "Learn to Live
Without" Muffin?

Besides, to improve your sex
life, all you have to do is
say the word "muffin" a lot
more, preferably to a member
of the target sex. Muffin.
Mmmuffin. Hello mmmuffin.

See?

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

On Suck

Dear Sucksters,

Hoo, have you taken
AltaVista's new LiveTopics
search engine tool out for a
spin yet? I'm not sure it's
working right. I used it to
help me fashion the following
query:

+host:suck +crack +addled
+hype -courtesy -credibility

but it couldn't find a durn
thing.

Steven M. O'Neill
<steveo@panix.co>m

Nice! Try this one instead:

+host:suck +smartass
+brilliant +insight
-stupidity -boredom 

It doesn't work either! Durn
thing must be broken.

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Mouseburger Royale

Regarding the new editor of
Cosmo - so what's your
problem with Canadians,
"former" or otherwise? It's
not clear how her birthplace
affects her ability to do the
job!

Laurel Bowman
<lbowman@uvic.ca>

If we knew the answer to that
one, we wouldn't be writing
for this bullshit website,
we'd be award-winning
anthropologists!

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Filler Archives

Why can't I get at the Filler
archives
beyond December?
There are links for it all
over... and they don't
resolve! I want my Filler! I like my
Filler!

Sebastian Hassinger
<singe@outer.net>

Filler since December is
archived on the Daily
Archive
, which is accessed
through the Barrel page.
Soon, there will also be a
complete Filler Archive.
(Please note: the definition
of "soon" is taken from the
production editor's Manual of
Terms
: adv., referring to
"whenever I have time to get
to it.")

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

Microsoft Ads

Hey, I've got an idea! How
about you adjust your frames
so you can devote HALF of
your web page to Microsoft
ads?

Eric Maika <maikae@inac.gc.ca>

Great idea, Eric! This one
ranks up there with Canadian
bacon, without which
pineapple pizza just wouldn't
be the same. We thank you!

 
Fish With Letter Icon
 

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