The Fish
for 26 September 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
[Suck Staff]

[Tim Cavanaugh]
Tim Cavanaugh
Special Guest Editor


[Terry Colon]
Terry Colon
Art Director


[Heather Havrilesky]
Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Joey Anuff]
Joey Anuff

[Go to the Suck Alumni page]
Summer of Samaranch

Hi there,

Just read your piece on Samaranch et al, and thought the above link might interest you...

Roy and H.G are quite famous here in Australia and have never pulled their punches about Samaranch. Most people I know find it astounding that they have a two hour tv show daily during the olympic games.

Their humor is very Australian, so don't be surprised if they make little sense...


Ross Floate

I tried to use the above link, but it didn't lead me anywhere. Is this Australian humor? It makes little sense....

Holly M.

[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]

Dear Holly,

Thank you for shining a light on Olympic corruption. Actually, I could live with Samaranch's past if only he ran a clean program now. I thought you let NBC, whose "storybook" coverage minimizes the view of the actual games, somewhat off the hook. (In other words, I'd love to read a follow-up piece.) As a fan of one of the least popular (in the US) Olympic sports (Judo), I have come to regard NBC's coverage as a thin, dry slice of a juicy and flavorful pie. Yes, I am one of the "children" who will watch from start to finish, and I actually enjoy both all three Olympic sports--track, swimming, and women's gymnastics--but I can't help wondering what I might have seen if so much time hadn't been wasted on the story of somebody's brother's kidney transplant. Thanks for your exposť. Seventies Child.

Richard Banks

I would have dearly loved to have at the uproarious, stillborn coverage coughed out in Peacockland. But that would entail, you know, watching it and shit....

What I don't see makes me stronger,

Holly M.

[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]

Creepy Chum

Jeez, I thought I was in pretty clever company, reading suck. Then came today's fish, with its collection of people who found the Australian alps joke completely over their heads.

At first I thought it was funny, then it creeped me out wondering how many other jokes these people don't get on a daily basis.

Can I be part of the suck army?


Logan Rogers

You are a part of the Suck Army, Logan. Everyone who reads Suck is a part of our Army, er, FAMILY! And just like a family, we have our clever members, some smartasses, some angry bossy types, and a handful of dim bulbs. It wouldn't be a family without them. Every member of our family is special to us, Logan. Just look at Joey. Could a guy like that be accepted anywhere else?

Your Creepy Aunt,


[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]


Yes I would like to sponser you. I have a pair of gym socks here that well, smelly rather frusty. I insist that you take them as I think that your site has too many scantly clad fish. And yes I know that fish have no feet, but i am thinking that they coulds use it as a shawl. I think that your fish would look very "mod" with theses socks.

Hope we can make a Deal

Chris Dumas
Program Manager
System Administrator
Smellyempire God

You disgusting little brat. Get your frusty ass up to that shower and get clean, and if you come to the dinner table without socks again, you are in for a world of pain, mister.

Your Scary Aunt,


[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]
Summer of Samaranch

Nice one — but did you really intend its publication to coincide with the guy's wife's death?

Blair Pritchard

No — though we do have a special new line of "Bibis Samaranch, Freed at Last From Juan's Iron Heel" T-shirts that are intended precisely for that occasion.

Yrs in ghoulishness,

Holly M.

[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]

Subject: yikes — live evil

a few nights ago i was partially witness to the mind-bending x-rays emanating from NBC's opening ceremony for you-know-what. money and power seems to be a juggernaut the likes of which mankind may never truly escape. thank you for the facts to back up my intuitions about the Olympics...

Mark J. Domino

You witnessed actual X-rays in the act of bending your mind? I'm pretty sure that's going to be an event in the 2004 Games. Meanwhile, anyone can tell you that the most successful strategy to escape the juggernaut of money and power is to be a Suck contributor.

Yours in disempowerment,

Holly M.

[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]


Thank you for writing "Summer of Samaranch." I have come to rely on Suck as a source of sane, intelligent commentary — as well as a rich resource of links to supporting documents. Your article is a superb example of what I mean.

Please continue writing for the sake of sanity.


Dan Hale


Thanks in turn for your kind words. I must confess, however, that the notion of anyone relying on Suck as a source of sane, intelligent commentary vaguely alarms me. Does this mean you also rely on Krispin Glover for dating tips? Jesse Helms for art criticism? Tom Frank for stock pointers?

Not writing for my own sanity's sake,

Holly M.

[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]

A commendable, well-written, timely, and insightful piece on today. Could it be that suck is oozing towards true journalism? Say it ain't so...

Paul Vetter

True journalism? Hold on a sec while I check the registry of writer's fees. Uh, that'd be a no. Definitely not. It ain't so.

Oozing toward true penury,

Holly M.

[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]

 The Shit
Krushchev Remembers, by Nikita Krushchev (authorship disputed), translated by Strobe Talbott
Five-Star Day Cafe
Athens, Ga.
Salon's "Action Figures"
TV ad
Donna's Famous "Long and Short of It," by Donna Anderson and friends
Two-Lane Blacktop, directed by Monte Hellman (The Anchor Bay/Universal letterboxed edition)
George Bush, Dark Prince of Love: A Presidential Romance, by Lydia Millet (Scribner)
King Kong: The Complete 1933 Film Score, by Max Steiner Moscow Symphony Orchestra, William J. Stromberg conductor (Marco Polo)
Eightball #20, by Dan Clowes (Fantagraphics Books)
The ECW's Little Spike Dudley
Stan Kenton, City of Glass, featuring arrangements by legendary weirdo Bob Graettinger (EMD/Blue Note)
Comix 2000, Edited and published by L'Association, 2000
Star Dudes
Do you know of stuff that doesn't actively suck? Things so good they deserve to make the Shitlist? Send your suggestions to us.

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