for 5 September 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Filler
1. Horseradish 2. Fifteen different Yiddish words to describe levels of human stupidity from mild incompetence to out and out bastardry (thanx, S.J. Perelman for pointing this out.) 3. S. J. Perelman, 4. J.L. Dreyfus (on Seinfeld), 5. Jews embodied the only alternative to rampant anti-intellectualism in LA when I was growing up in that hateful megalopolis, 6. R. Crumb, especially for coining the phrase "Hateful megalopolis" to describe LA, 7. Joseph Heller, 8. Women that make a beta-male feel like he shouldn't toss himself off a bridge just yet, 9. Mel Brooks when he was young and funny, 10. everything else I can't remember now. I still think that Joseph Lieberman is a baptist in Jewish drag, and Spielberg's bar-mitzvah movies like Saving Private Ryan are ways of trying to ease his Jewish guilt--but he should feel all the more guilty that it wasn't Saving Private Horowitz. Keep it up - you're on to something, as usual. Richard Von Busack <regisgoat@earthlink.net> You know, it's funny you should mention Horseradish, because when I was younger, Jews, like Horseradish, just made no sense to me. Too strong and bitter! Now, though, I find both truly delightful, and loathe the bland, squirming pussy who avoided them in the past. I had no backbone. I couldn't handle them. Now I'm drawn to them like a moth to spicy mustard and raw onions. Open-minded, with chronic halitosis, Polly  Excellent article, really! I've been reading Filler for ages, so I think I know your style well enough to understand that your comments about us Jews are not ironic or baiting in the least. I know you're going to get a lot of miserable flame mail from a lot of Jews and anti-Semites, but let me tell you that I am very flattered by comments which come as close as Suck gets to genuine praise. I don't know how Jews tend to avoid getting to the Unhinged level, but I think it has something to do with that extra special blend of humility and humiliation that only ethnic people know. Incidentally - you know "that one rat bastard whose name he can't even speak for fear his tongue falls off"? For me, that guy is a Wacko In Denial. Terry Colon even got the unibrow right! I wonder if this is true for a lot of other people too...they are easily the most irritating of the disturbed. B'shalom, The Pie Guy You know, I haven't received a single flame mail, not from Jews or anti-Semites. First of all, this proves my point that Jews are proud of their distinguishing characteristics and culture, as well they should be, and don't take themselves too seriously. I mean, that's the point. You can't scream and then hug and have lunch together if you take yourself so goddamn seriously like the rest of us miserable non-Jewish humans do. Or maybe it's an ethnic thing. But what exactly does that mean, "ethnic"? What an awful bland American concept: you're either a pasty, uninspired, flaccid, droopy WASP or Catholic, or you're "ethnic", "colorful", "feisty." Actually, come to think of it, my take on Jewish people IS pretty annoying and not entirely healthy - sort of like the idea that women are "wild" and "emotional" and "untamable" and therefore, you know, unemployable and really pesky when they're on the rag. I mean, how much do we, in the socially restrictive Western World, truly respect those who break the boundaries of social norms and act exactly how they feel? We might applaud it loudly, but still turn our backs and at some level hold onto the idea that such behavior isn't quite as "classy" as the behavior of snooty bottle-blond aristocratic corpses, sniffing and pouting over spotty forks. When I say "we" I mean "them", of course, since I'm an emotional wreck and my forks are quite spotty. Whatever. It is what it is, you know? Polly [Insert funny Jewish salutation here] Oh! Suck's going to generalize about personality disorders! Awesome. I always get a laugh out of stuff like this, because I never match any of the trite categories and am confidently aware of the fact that I'm a well-rounded, complex human being. But I'm not. I'm jewish! But I'm not! I'm x-catholic! Have I turned into a jew by leaving my traditional faith? Are people jewish by default? I didn't fit neatly into any other category but "jew" - and it was entirely accurate. Thanks, Polly! I was well-rounded and appropriately complex but now I'm just jewish! Help me out here. What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't know any clever jewish phrases. Do I have to marry a jewish woman now? Should I move out of Brooklyn Heights? Can I be a closet jew? Oh well. I'm not mad. I'm over it. I think I'll go eat. AGH! There it goes again! help me, Russell Warner <russell@privatecube. privatelabs.com> How did you get all that Jewishness without inheriting it? That's not fair, man. The only thing you're missing is pride in your heritage. Get on that and get back to me. Polly hello, I'm an American living in Germany. and when I first got AOl I paid 10 DM and got 2 free hours, and then paid 3. something per minute. Now I pay 10 DM and get no free hours. But the other day I went to my bank to get the backup that Aol sends monthly and was told "AOL doesn't sent it no more so I went on the internet to get the info." My question to this man was, "How did you get my monthly charge without using my password?" Which means if he did use my password, AOl gave it to him: I have asked AOL and sent an email to Steve Case, and still haven't gotten a response. This is like dealing with the KGB. Kathleen Daniel <KDaniel722@aol.com> Steve Case never wrote you back? Wow! What a jerk! That is just like dealing with the KGB! Maybe you should ask that banker man who he gets his information from. Sounds like he's got some good connections in the upper eschelons, nudge nudge, wink wink. Work that angle. But wait - why are you on AOL? Or more importantly, why are you living in Germany? And why are you contacting me about this? Do you suspect that I have ins with the KGB? Before we explore the symptoms you're experiencing, we really have to look closely at the deeper causes behind your problems. You understand. Polly Suck's Fifth Anniversary! have been reading suck nearly every day for years, except when I forget. having worked on a computer since mag-cards were cool, (over 25 years), I am considered old school. Almost as old as some of you must be. Why haven't you people ever cleared the air about the connection between suck and wired? that would make a good flash-back cycle. Six years in cyber-time is like what, 2,000 years in real time. You could almost get away with recycling old strips and only a few of us old guys/gals would notice, or have you already been there, done that, and we didn't notice. Oh Shit, you did, didn't you! And I missed it. I must be getting older than I thought. 25 years in this industry and I still can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00, 12:00, 12:00 over and over and over. oh what the fuck, keep up the good work. TTFN Mark Miletich p.s. how come you haven't mentioned fuckedcompany.com on your site. It's a great place to visit and watch your stock crash. The connection between Suck and Wired has been public knowledge since 1995, and we mention it all the time, but you fucking kids never listen. HotWired owned Suck, Wired and HotWired were linked entities. Then Conde Nast bought Wired, and Lycos bought HotWired (and Suck with it). Founder Joey Anuff has joined with Feed founders to form a new entity, Automatic Media, which Suck will be a part of. This is a move towards more independence and resources for Suck, not another takeover. Due to the many handovers and turnovers and takeovers and transitions, though, we're less inclined to browse sites like fuckedcompany idly without wringing our hands and needing a strong drink. Funny that you should mention recycling old cartoons, though, since next week's Filler does just that, to great effect. And yes, we have done it before, and no, you didn't notice. You fucking kids deserve a smack most of the time. Thanks for writing, and keep up the good Industry work. Just rest assured, we call you kids, but you're a lot older than us, grampy. Sucksters Time Out! Dear Tom Spurgeon, Your piece for today's Suck was well worth waiting for — insightful and very well-written. But almost invisible changes of this kind always prepare the ground for far more profound social transformations. Christopher Hill, in one of his books about the English Reformation, pointed out how one of its effects was to eliminate the incredible number of religious holidays in the calendar, thus furthering the onset of large-scale industrialization with its need for an orderly rhythm of production. And there are still dorky historians who deny the existence of any link between Protestantism and the rise of capitalism. From 1972 to 1977, I worked teaching American studies at the J.W. Goethe U in Frankfurt am Main, and one day I had a real epiphany while walking past the present day headquarters of the Institute for Social Research. Across the street I saw a repair truck from a company that supplied standard time to schools, businesses, etc. At that moment, I realized for the first time consciously that the reason for having timed periods marked by the regular sounding of electrically controlled bells in American schools was not just to provide organization to the school day but, much more importantly, to accustom students to the routine they were going to face once they graduated and went to work. I know it sounds like fiction but it really happened. It must have been the voice of Adorno--whose apartment had been just across from my office at the Amerika-Institut and whose widow still lived there--whispering in my ear aus dem Jenseits. One of my few regrets about my European sojourn was that I arrived a couple of years too late to have heard him. But therefore I did get to see Lacan at the top of his form in Paris. Have a great day — you certainly deserve it. Best wishes, Dave Clayton <daveclayton@worldnet.att.net> Thanks Dave, for reading, and thanks for your note. I think you're dead-on correct about the relationship between school routines and work routines, and if I could have said so sounding more like you and less like some crazy 'zine writer from the '70s decrying the spread of shopping malls, that would have been made explicit in the essay. Ironically, I faked illness for as much schooling as I could, and those days at home drinking 7-Up, eating Buddig Ham sandwiches and watching Jay Ward cartoons came to dictate the rhythms of my current adult workday. There's no escape, Dave. Best, 40th Street Black 40th, Another well done piece, with transitions from point to point while remaining on topic worthy of James Burke (Connections). When will you stop teasing us with these columns and write a book for us, already? Yours, Malcolm Jean <aztec_mummy@centropolis.org> Hi, Malcolm: That's the nicest damn note I've ever received from anyone, anywhere, at any time. Thank you. What's a book again? Best, 40SB |
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