for 1 September 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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I Love The Blob
Dear Pete, By a strange coincidence I happen to go to the EMP for the first time on the Friday your suck column came out. I remembered all the bad Stranger press (mocking the Seattle Weekly's mostly 'glowing' press). I'm from Akron, Ohio originally and my parents are charter members of the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. I've probably been there about 5 times and they don't change the exhibits all that often. (They did take out the Seattle-themed one though). I remember meeting a Cleveland Free Times editor at the Murder City Devils show for the opening and he did mention that he had no idea how the museum would play for regular people during their visit since the press visits let them play on all the exhibits as long as they want. That was kind of my problem. The actual information was great. Mind-blowing to some extent. I couldn't get myself to concentrate on any one wall that wasn't from my time-frame reference so I already knew all the information anyways. I kept getting stupidly excited seeing quick video clips of Sleater-Kinney and the MCDs. This was probably because I felt like I had hardly any connection to the musicians actually interned in the Rock Hall. Either way the museum is probably worth 2 trips. But the long waits ruined what was interactive. I had a 20-minute wait to get into the Sound Lab and once you get in every activity had its own wait. (And this was on a relatively "slow" day) I thought it was a good idea in theory but in practice it didn't work. No activity is fun after waiting a 1/2 hour for it. But none of the press was going to pick up on that. I had one friend who got to pre-opening and she had been telling me how great the Sound Lab was, how she spent 45 minutes playing the drums alone. Same thing with the On Stage exhibit. I'm not sure what the museum could have actually done to fix this problem, (although the Artist's Journey sure moved at a quick clip) but it was worth noting because no one noticed it. It kind of like those Rolling Stone writers who wrote about all the carnage of Woodstock 99 from the safety of backstage. Maybe that's overblown, but a rock'n'roll museum ain't like a Natural History musuem. It's more like one of those Science Center places. The theory is great, now how does it work in real life? Rachel Larris <catrina1077@hotmail.com> Good point about the long lines. The EMP is supposedly getting fewer visitors than they projected, but maybe they should ideally be attracting even fewer than that? Oh well, long lines never discouraged people from visiting Disneyland. Peter Bagge  Dear Peter Bagge, Another nice essay. The EMP sounds like a neat bit of architecture. Here in Cleveland we have the rock hall of fame. Which, although a wild looking glass pyramid-shaped-thingy , I just can't muster the interest to investigate. The whole rock museum thing just eludes me. I still collect records, which drives my wife to distraction ("Oh no! Not another thrift store find, no more crappy records!" ) . I just don't want to look at Elvis' jumpsuit. As I'm closing in on the big four- O, and still find myself bidding on Ebay for LPs, I have paused to consider the sickness that is rock & roll. First, I believe that, like ducks we imprint on the music that we hear when at a certain developmental stage. At twelve I was convinced that the Sweet's "Fox on the Run" was the greatest song ever written. Probably because it was what was on the radio that year. Then there's that rebellion thing. My parents hated rock, which was a big vote in favor of Hendrix and his ilk. That also may explain why boomer-hated rap will bury rock. Finally, music probably is more significant as a badge of identity than any esthetic considerations. We like what we like simply because it identifies us to our peers. If all the guys at work dig country then you will too. Good luck, and keep mowing that front yard, you middle class white guy. Michael Chicchelly <mikeamy@stratos.net> Good points. And a lot of people made comparisons between the EMP and the R 'n' R Hall of Fame, with most finding the latter the more wanting between the two. I've never been, so I can't say. I've also never been to a Hard Rock Cafe, which is another place the EMP has been compared too! I just can't be bothered to wait on a long line only to wind up paying too much money on a hamburger. Peter B Hi there, I loved your piece on the EMP. I've only lived in Seattle for two years (expat new yorker) but the gossipy high school music scene here is really crazy- it's like you took all the worst things about the Brit music scene (NME and all that) and crystalized it to fit a small city. The "struggling DJ" thing had me giggling (and i'm up at 10 on a sunday, hung over, because I have to *work* today- and I work 9 to 5). The taconic thing- man, your family does owe the entire state of NY an apology. I grew up in Westchester, where you have to take the Taconic to go anywhere that isn't Westchester, and driving up to Albany on those narrow creepy highway lanes is no fun at all. I drove up from my mom's house to my best friend's house in Albany in June, at about 11pm, and I was practically hallucinating that I would either drive off the road or a big scary Forest Thing would jump out at me on my way. The taconic would lose to any other highway in the country if they played paper rock scissors. <alice@tiara.org> I forgot to add the link to whiney The Stranger article! Here 'tis: http://www.thestranger.com/ 2000-06-15/feature.html That one comment regarding the Taconic Parkway elicited a lot of comments, both pro and con. I think it's a very nice ride myself (I also grew up in Westchester), and while the exits are indeed harrowing, they also were just about the FIRST exit ramps ever made. Like Paul Allen says, ya gotta throw things out there before you can work out the kinks! What's a few hideous car crashes in the name of progress? Peter B "It's always painful to watch an art form become institutionalized." this is especially true of your sad lifeless imitations of the 70's ZAP comix artists (crumb wilson,moscosso etc) that adorn your colum. you are so lame as to "draw" your ,all to fitting ,name on the first lame frame.terry should be ashamed to work on the same ezine... what the fuck. i thimk this every time i see your pathetic copycat doodles . this time must mention it YOU CANT DRAW nothin but flies Anonymous <anonymous@anonymizer.com> Please don't hurt me, Anonymous Fellow Baby Boomer! Peter B OK, but it's still a hideous blight set smack in the middle of one of Seattle's most important landmarks. And they charge more than any other museum. Sally Neary <Sally.Neary@pss.boeing.com> The Seatle Center may be an important landmark, but it could also be considered a hideous blight if were weren't all so used to it. But you're right, $20 is pretty steep. I'd suggest paying it only if you intend to spend the entire day there. Peter B The money that Paul Allen has seems to be the real issue. Also, being a detractor can turn into a full-time job in this huckster-land, and some people just can't enjoy anything for fear of selling out. Ironic, since pop has been about selling out (records, concert halls, stadiums) since its inception. For me it's easier to choose carefully what stuff I want to let in, and what stuff is a waste of time. Paul's life and works (includes most anything by Microsoft) are on the waste-of- time list, and this is no exception. To be that far along in life and still listen mostly to the music of one's childhood betrays a sad lack of growth and learning. People who still "believe" in Rock are going to be laid to rest some day near those who believed in Vaudeville, and no one will be able to tell the difference when they dig them up to build a Techno hall-of- fame. CD Krall <cdkrall@earthlink.net> I still mostly listen to the music of my youth, but only because it's BETTER than anything to come along since! Peter B Grand job on 'I luv the Blob', you captured the wonderful stupidity of of both the EMP itself, and all the hype around it. As a transplanted Seattlite living in NYC, I took a lot of heat from my buds over the whole thing. 'Silly Little Seattle, adding another useless eyesore' was all I heard as it opened up (and people who grew up in Queens or Newark, really shouldn't be talking). But after forwarding over your article, they all agreed, 'The best things in life are DUMB. ' Andy <andy@trade.com> PS You the same Bagge who played with the Action Suits? No, that was also my Grandfather. Kidding! It was me. We Bagges specialize in creating EAR-sores as well. Peter B Your grandfather bones should be disinterred and scattered to the wind, his tombstone ground into gravel and used as pot hole fill, and all mention of his name expunged from the public record. Those are the worst freaking on-ramps ever. The rest of the taconic parkway is pretty nice though. Ciao Ben <bschwabe@mit.edu> Now I'm getting pissed. My family's honor is being TRASHED! From now on you New Yorkers better learn to LOVE the Taconic Parkway or ELSE! Peter B. I've never seen the EMP, so I won't attempt to compare uglinesses. Instead, I'll just mention a building that would insult the term, "eyesore" - The Frederick R. "Gaudy" Weisman Art Museum: http://hudson.acad.umn.edu/ WAMbldg.html This overgrown version of a garbage can attacked by firecrackers sits not in the middle of the rest of Minneapolis's steel and glass structures, where it might actually provide a welcome respite from the boredom. No, they've perched it very prominently on the otherwise beautifully wooded sandstone/limestone cliffs overlooking the Mississippi River. The architect, Frank O. Gehry, attempts to justify his crime. "They told me not to build another brick lump." I doubt that anyone told him to create steel scat, though. As an alumna of the U. of Minnesota, and as someone who believes that there is a place for everything (and this structure is definitely OUT of place), I am deeply saddened by the lack of consideration given to the natural beauty of the river, its bluffs, and the campus itself, in the whole process of designing and constructing this...this...debris. I can only hope that, in the afterlife, all those responsible for this will be sentenced to an eternity of staring at their idiocy - and I don't even care if they enjoy it! JSJ < jjoriss@agribank.com> I'm not familiar with this particular building, but I know that Frank Gehry has made some real dogs in his day, so I don't doubt your criticism. Perhaps Suck should run a contest: "Draw your least favorite Frank Gehry building!" The ugliest entry wins. Peter B Hit & Run "Maxim's recipe for success may be ripped off by other men's magazines like FHM..." er, no. Maxim actually ripped off FHM when Felix Dennis launched it in the UK, except that it did so poorly in comparison (and still does) that he decided to create a US version, and refocus on a market dominated by— well, Details —which was ripe for exploitation with big tits and tall tales. The American success of Maxim, a pale imitation of the lads' mag instituted by Loaded back whenever, continues to amaze us across the pond. Nick Sweeney <nick@only.org> Oh, the old "Who Are They Ripping Off" Game. This should be added to a revised Y2K edition of "Urban Hipster Mantras." Oh, the pale imitations! Oh, the agony! Thanks for playing! Sucksters Today's edition was so damn funny I near about pooped my pants. Especially the segment about 5-letter magazine names. And I was inspired by the hopelessly irresponsible innuendo regarding Mrs. Bush's driving record. Rock on, Sucky! Erik Rader <erader@ontheboards.org> Sucky Say: Whoop! There It Is! A Free Fuck You Custard Pie to the first 50 readers who send in thrillingly (or chillingly) outdated sayings from the '80s and '90s. Sucksters My beloved Sucksters, Even before I write the e-mail which will invoke such sorrow at the workplace, I send one to you. I am leaving, Suck. Yes, I am exiting stage left, or, more accurately, stage west. Lookit all them commas. For the last two years, I have been reading you faithfully on a daily basis. I also, in a fit of desperation, read your entire archive. Nobody ever told me what happened to Zero Baud, by the way. I suppose it's pretty much incorporated into Hit & Run at this stage? Suck has cured me of hangovers and chased headaches away. Suck has kept me real. Suck has provided me with a vast array of clever-sounding phrases which I can draw upon when conversing with my betters. Suck has protected me from male pattern baldness. As a direct result of Suck, my bong water is sixty percent less grotty. Suck made me the man I am today. It'd really be best if you didn't ask what sort of man, but were simply satisfied with the fact that you haven't altered my gender. Every Wednesday, I try to spot myself in Filler. It's generally not too difficult, as I'm a decaying urban hipster suffering from a bad case of elitism and an early-onset mid-life crisis. When I spot myself, I give thanks that someone out there in this big blue world of ours is devoting a portion of their life to mocking me. I'm not sure why this is a good thing, but I would be willing to sign a legally binding document to shore up my approval. I've noticed that you get a lot of mail which reads along the lines of "You Suck! [Ed: Ha Ha] I'm never reading you again!!!". I just thought that I'd send this mail, in all seriousness, to let you know that I found your peculiar brand of journalism/meme dissemination/cynicism to be more than worth the time I spent reading it. You have a fantastic well of intelligent and witty people working for you, not to mention one of the finest cartoonists I've run into. Who is also funny and witty. I assume. Well, I won't have this fancy internet where I'm going, nor will I have one of these newfangled personal computers. That's right, I'm going to Canada! [Ed: ha, ha] Actually, I'm going to live a life of abject poverty while attempting to stretch two months of savings to cover the remaining two years of my degree. Ah, the warm embrace of Academia. I've missed it, so, these last few years. So, thank you for ensuring that I never quite believed the hype, and for making my lips twitch with laughter as my co-workers peered suspiciously over, and for putting up that link to those two guys having the contest to see who could get laid first. That contest was cool, and I kind of liked his cartoons as well. This is far too wordy, and so I will condense: Love you lots, Liam Black Thanks for the gracious words, Liam. Come back soon. It won't be the same without you. We'll keep the archives warm for you. Sucksters |
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