for 24 August 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Hit & Run
Dear Sucksters, Scarier than postmodernism, but worth asking: is it true that our Lynne was a Director of Martin-Marietta during the period husband served as US Secretary of Defense? Curious, Keith from HK, NY Very interesting. We can neither confirm nor deny this statement. Mostly because we're too lazy to do so. Sucksters  Fish on Fish Sucksters: I just saw your reply to my e-mail from last week. It was a nice surprise to see what a reasoned and knowledgeable response my letter and others elicited. You guys really have done your homework, despite first impressions. I regret my suggestion that you purposely insulted WWII veterans. It was really damn early in the morning when I sounded off, but now I'm glad I said it, as your response provided a fresh and worthwhile point of view. You're gentlemen. Logan Rogers <LogeRogers@aol.com> Now that's something we haven't heard in a long, long time. OK. Or ever. Thanks for the kind words, however inaccurate. Gently, Sucksters The American Century 2.0 Nice piece with one exception. What was up with the illustration of the Amish guy? Was he supposed to be a Quaker guy? Even though there are many of us in Pennsylvania, and the guy on the cereal box is looking pretty funky in that hat, Quakers don't dress like Alexander Godudnov in Witness. Common misconception. But of course the comedy is lost if Terry drew some hippy/frat kid or nice old liberal crusty in the picture. Then again, most people don't have a clue what a Quaker is unless it's the guy on the cereal box — let alone that Nixon was one (God help us all). And if they do know what a Quaker is they probably think it's all plain talk ("Wow, thou hast a fine car John Book!" "Shut thy mouth, or I'll pop a cap in thy ass!") and running private schools. Oh, wait. It is all plain talk and running private schools. My bad. But soon those private schools will start sending polite well-mannered children with the unnerving habit of saying thee and thou and an odd attachment to public service out in the world. And then the Quaker Terrorists' reign of terror will have begun. Muhahahaha! Too bad we'll still suck at sports. Even the wuss Amish could probably kick our collective ass. But we come up with good names. Quaker Terrorists — whoo hoo! Fight, fight, inner light! Kill, Quakers, kill! Keep on sucking, Jen Bonnell You're right, Jen, here at Suck we clearly don't have much of a clue to the Quaker religion. However, your letter, linking yet another minority religious point of view to fanatical violence and terrorism will certainly help tear down those barriers, much in the same spirit that Senator Lieberman's nomination has done over the past few weeks for his Mormon faith. Bert Blecht Filler: Third World Blind Polly: Am I the only one a bit disturbed by the fish's choice of lunchtime fare? A concerned reader I, too, am concerned with the Fish's fish lunch. Maybe the blackened tadpole was on special, and it sounded simply irresistible. Or maybe Terry is slightly unhinged. Through history, though, the unhinged bring us the world's greatest art, so we probably shouldn't complain. Polly so I guess a blind hog DOES find an acorn every once in a while! It is good to see that you can be funny every once in a while. remember - being narcissictic about oneself - not funny misspelling narcissictic while criticizing another - funny live and lurn pete Well, you can lead a blind hog to acorns, but you can't make him eat them. Hogs hate acorns. And I have to disagree - is funny misspelling narcissictic while criticizing another! You lurn something new every day! Polly Hey, longtimereader, firsttimewriter. Your Generation Ex bit was hilarious. A few months back I got an e-mail from an ex-girlfriend Angie who wanted some advise about her current boyfriend, Beau (natch), who was still interested in his ex-gf Denise, who was also an ex-gf of mine. Here's a snippet from the letter I sent back to Ang. I read your story, but I can hardly fathom it. So let me get this straight: Your current boyfriend is my ex's ex, and you, being his girlfriend, are his ex's ex's ex, making Denise both my ex and your ex's ex? This makes me your ex, her ex, his current's ex and his ex's ex. I've never gotten so much ex in all my life. It's the best ex I've ever had. It's better than ex. And to top it all off, Denise was then seeing .....drumroll please....former MTV VJ Alan Hunter. I laughed myself silly when I heard that. Anyoldhow, keep up the killa filla. Peacepipes. Bruce Man, that means you're practically related to Alan Hunter! Very cool! Polly Just to let you know, Filler is awesome. I've been reading it for a while but never felt the urge to comment. However, I think the real reason we don't like friends and ex's to get together is that they'll share and reveal some secret horrible truth about you that could only be gleaned from close intimate contact by two people that know you too well. Then the world will know that the facade you present is only that, a facade. Then you'll have to invent a new facade. And that's so hard and painful to do more than once. Chris Chris, I invent new facades as often as I change my socks. And, changing facades is like changing socks, in that, often is often not often enough. It reminds me of an AA idea that someone once shared with me: uncovering layers of emotional damage and dysfunction can be like peeling off the layers of an onion - every time you peel off one layer, there's another layer underneath. I can't think of any metaphor that could make you crave a drink more than that one does. Cool, soothing beer... Polly |
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![[Tim Cavanaugh]](/fish/staff/images/tim.gif)
![[Phillip Bailey]](/fish/staff/images/phil.gif){kind=small}
