The Fish
for 7 July 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff

[Tim Cavanaugh]
Tim Cavanaugh
Special Guest Editor


Terry Colon
Terry Colon
Art Director


Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor


[Phillip Bailey]
Phillip Bailey
Production Editor


Joey Anuff
Joey Anuff

Suck Alumni
Suck Alumni Text

Pass the Mustard, Please,
Sister Sunshine Daisy-Hat

Well said!

I haven't been to a Gathering
in 25 years, but it sounds
like nothing much has
changed. Hurray for the
cosmic giggle!

Sid Sidner

What one can usually say
about most span-the-decades
events is that nothing much
has changed except the
clothing styles. But even
that's kind of the same at
the Gatherings!


— 40SB
Fish With Letter Icon

Re walker-rocker Steve
Miller's list of second-tier
venues: ayup. I can tell you
that Blockbuster Pavilion in
Devore, while definitely out
in the back 40, is
nonetheless an estimable
amphitheater, and perversely,
also the home of El Lay's
Rennaissance Faire. Why, I've
seen such luminaries as Linda
Ronstadt play there, though
she's, um, fluffier than she
was back when Jerry Brown was
da Gov.

Rob McMillin

Thanks for writing, Rob.

The thing I like about Steve
Miller is he's the only
musician I know to publicly
declare that performing new
material at his summer shows
was an impossible task, and
switched over to an almost
all-'70s set list.

— 40SB
Fish With Letter Icon

Just a note to say thanks for
the fine writing. Suck hasn't
thrilled me over the last few
months and your well-thought
writing will keep me
subscribing just a bit

Brian Mahoney

Thanks for the kind and
complimentary note, Brian.
Anything that keeps you on
board for the time being is a
good thing. I have to admit,
though, I'm not even my own
favorite rookie, not as long
as cartoonist Peter Bagge
keeps contributing essays.

— 40SB
Fish With Letter Icon

Suck's armies of the night
strike again


I hate to be picky, but I
feel I would be remiss in not
pointing out that this
morning's comments on the
idealized portraits on the
new currency sound
suspiciously similar to
comments run in
over a month ago... At the
very least, perhaps somebody
would be interested in
reading further commentary on
the new bills at

Ryan Olson

Thanks for the
support, Ryan. Send me your
USPS address. Your email
alert, although it concerns
an NPR program of which I am
completely ignorant, deserves
a few stickers. Just imagine
what you would have gotten if
you'd taken the next logical
step of dressing up in a
bodystocking and fright wig,
storming the NPR offices and
treating a shocked Corey
Flintoff to a tonsil-tickling
kiss. I can assure you, your
Suck souvenir would have been
well worth the effort. But
stickers are good too.

yr pal,

Fish With Letter Icon

Hit & Run

ahahahaha...asking homeless
people what they think of
current issues. That's
fucking priceless. That
schtick isn't very funny when
Tom Green does it, and you
don't have the benefit of
being able to make funny
faces into a camera as you do
your interview. As for the
Jeffrey Golberg piece, for a
more balanced view of
politics in that region, read
Eric Margolis. And finally,
if that's how Al Sharpton
would call a football game,
get him in the booth! Dennis
Miller always takes too long
to get to the point anyhow!

Malcolm Jean

Thanks for your input,
Malcolm, but actually we were
channeling Jay Leno with
those interviews, not Tom
Green. We also appreciate
that the Suck interviews have
met with considerable
resistance from our more
garrulous readers. But you
know, people you stop and
interrogate in the street
frequently say interesting
and surprising things. Our
more garrulous readers rarely
do that.

Fish With Letter Icon

Interesting take on the human
genome developments. You get
some alcoholism, some racism,
and some disease. You should
try asking people who are
well dressed and who are more
affluent. Then it would be
amusing. I am sure their
ignorance would be amusing,
and maybe even a little less

Derek Generic

It was an abundance of
ignorant, depressing
interviews with well dressed
and affluent people that made
us want to interview the
homeless in the first place,
Derek. And in fact, both
Street Sheet Kay and
Walgreen's David gave more
interesting comments than
most of the people we saw on
TV. But since you seem to
work for a place called Helix
Tech, we're not sure we can
trust you on this topic at

Fish With Letter Icon

I loved the interviews with
the homeless! I hope you have
more in the future.


Well, they have the most
important attribute of great
interview subjects: They like
to talk and they're used to
talking. But given the
response they're getting from
the Suck readership, it looks
like the homeless may not
make it past their pilot

Fish With Letter Icon

Yes!!! Today's was possibly
the best hit & run I've read
in a while. More interviews
with random people off the
street!! :)

Actually, thinking about it
more clearly, what today's
issue resembled an Onion
article. Just the feel of the
first and last bits had
something resembling things
from the nation's finest
newssource. But it still has
that flavor you can only get
from Suck, so keep on Sucking
(as opposed to sucking)
(yeah, how many times have
you heard that one) and I'll
stop typing now.

Over & Out,


—If Mike Tyson bites off
Jesus' ear in a fight, is it
a foul or a sacrament?

It's in the nature of a
glutted market for funny-but-
not-haha- funny content
written by maggot-white
smartasses with public school
educations, mediocre
publishing credentials and
depressingly similar media
diets that eventually
everything will start to seem
like a ripoff of something
else. We're just hoping that
flavor you can only get from
Suck will somehow keep us out
of lawsuit territory.

Fish With Letter Icon

Subject: Today

Compelling reading.

Richard Banks

Duly noted.

Fish With Letter Icon

 The Shit
Krushchev Remembers, by Nikita Krushchev (authorship disputed), translated by Strobe Talbott
Five-Star Day Cafe
Athens, Ga.
Salon's "Action Figures"
TV ad
Donna's Famous "Long and Short of It," by Donna Anderson and friends
Two-Lane Blacktop, directed by Monte Hellman (The Anchor Bay/Universal letterboxed edition)
George Bush, Dark Prince of Love: A Presidential Romance, by Lydia Millet (Scribner)
King Kong: The Complete 1933 Film Score, by Max Steiner Moscow Symphony Orchestra, William J. Stromberg conductor (Marco Polo)
Eightball #20, by Dan Clowes (Fantagraphics Books)
The ECW's Little Spike Dudley
Stan Kenton, City of Glass, featuring arrangements by legendary weirdo Bob Graettinger (EMD/Blue Note)
Comix 2000, Edited and published by L'Association, 2000
Star Dudes
Do you know of stuff that doesn't actively suck? Things so good they deserve to make the Shitlist? Send your suggestions to us.

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