for 27 June 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Bring Out Yer Dead
Thanks so much for dredging up Hunter S. Thompson's excellent obit of Nixon. I've always liked the sheer viturperance of that piece. It also glistens with hope for me, as it reminds me of how I celebrated the death of Nixon. The weekend after he croaked, I went with my friend Simon to the Yankee game and sat in the bleachers, surely New York's unparalleled summer debauch. Or at least it was until they stopped selling beer in the bleachers. Anyway, a few minutes before the start of the game, the Voice of God, Bob Sheppard, came over the PA and asked the crowd to observe a moment of silence for our fallen leader, Richard Milhouse Nixon. Having been raised in a good Jewish liberal Democrat household, I was outraged. Of course, it seemed appropriate, given how Yankee owner George Steinbrenner broke the law by contributing too much to RMN's campaign, but still I had to do something. So in the heat-laden silence, I yelled out "THIEF! MURDERER! BASTARD!" I fully expected the NYPD to escort me back to River Avenue, but instead, I was joined by the cheers and applause of the largely Latino fan base in the bleachers. There is hope, my friend. Regards, Ben Rothfeld> <Benjamin.Rothfeld@thinkinc.com> Hi, Ben: To make matters worse, Nixon was a football man. — 40SB  To 40th Street, The politician you are refering to your article is William Jennings Bryant, with a "t." I thought you might like to know for future reference. Matt Petrone <mookerp2@yahoo.com> Thanks, Matt. When I first read your note, I thought, "Are you telling me majoring in history isn't even good for remembering history?" Then I looked at my Webster's biographical dictionary, and it had Bryan with no "t." I have no choice by to agree with my Webster's, because it's the only reference book I own. A simple web search shows tons of spellings both ways, so this is a common disputed spelling. That damn William Cullen Bryant can't be helping matters any. — 40SB Mike Szilagyi wrote: 40th Street Black, Your article about obituaries struck a chord with me in that it is yet another example of the media becoming popularized and as result, watered down in actual content. Your piece illustrated this well, I thought. Keep up the good work and thanks for a good read. Mike Szilagyi <mikeszilagyi@lunarcorp.com> Thanks for the compliment, Mike. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. The only thing scarier than watered-down content is content that is so content free it doesn't have to be watered down. — 40SB I pretty much agree with your take on modern obit writing. That's why, five years ago, I started GoodBye! The Journal of Modern Obituaries. I think you'll find a fair number of eviscerations (cf Wallace) but also a number of raves (Mitford) and in betweens (Schulz). Full text available online (www.goodbyemag.com) I don't know how I've missed Mencken on Bryan. Classic. Cheers, Steve <copyboy@goodbyemag.com> Thanks, Steve. I enjoyed the site quite a bit, and am only happy to be able to recommend something that allows me to stay pissed off about the stuff I was talking about in the essay. Best, — 40SB This should at least get an honorable mention ;) I've read SUCK for a long time, but never written to say thanks for all the great work "Thanks" ok, now I feel better. David Beach <davidb@rcwegman.com> Hi, David: Thanks for writing, and thanks for pointing out the amusing article. I think he's onto something — any bad feelings that come with writing disrespectfully of the dead would be overwhelmed by America's unending delight in mafia-focused entertainment. — 40SB Not a patch on your Suck essay, but the WSJ ran a frisky obituary when Bart the Bear died. Couple or few weeks back, but you need a subscription to get to the online version, or a Lexis-Nexis account, to see it. Cheers! <ess@blkbox.com> Thanks. Any obituary that devitates from the norm is a good thing. I feel better after reading these Fish letters than I did when I ended writing the piece, even though what's been pointed out seem to be definite exceptions proving the rule. Best, — 40SB Java Been Though your story was about execs and companies that were given the knock out blow by their involvement in promoting java, but I must add my story of Micheal Cowpland (Corel) and his short lived java adventure. Remember Corel Wordperfect 8? With all the integrated java functions? At around that time the talk around town was that Mr.Cowpland planned to create a net-based work station using java as it's operating system. You know the deal. Network based applications, wave of the future, blah blah blah. Well, the workstation went on to become the rebel.com netwinder based on the linux kernel, and the the java OS never materialized. But this short sighted and short lived dip into the wonderful world of java was the foundation of Corel's more recent problems culminating in the company letting go of 320 workers. Of course thinking that they could make money off of linux also plays a big part in this, but it all started with that gleam in Cowplands eyes as he dreamed the dream of a java OS. That's my story. Malcolm Jean <mjean@fitt.ca> When I first sat down to grind out this tale of Java, I thought about name-dropping Mr. Cowpland. But he really deserves a story of his own. I'd argue that Cowpland wasn't looking so much for a technology to build his company around as a straw(man) to spin into gold on Wall Street. Hence his ill-advised forays into Java, network computers, Linux, a merger with Borland-Inprise, and, more recently, a near brush with bankruptcy. Yours, Jonathan Really enjoyed today's Suck on Java. Below is another Java-based trainwreck, recently profiled, that you may find of interest... Keep up the good work! Dennis Venerus <dennis.venerus@sympatico.ca> Thanks for the clip from the Ottawa Citizen which detailed the almost-forgotten tale of Shane and Shaun Maine, whose main failure — besides not coming out with a product that anyone would buy — was in timing. Had they started a bit later, these Java hucksters no doubt would have recast Sanga International as a broadband B2B exchange. Yours, Jonathan Let me tell you that life in Java-land is not half as bad as you make it out to be for all of these reasons: 1) Java is a clean, simple language that helps programmers avoid errors. Programmers routinely say they get twice as much work done. I don't think it will ever be possible to measure that with objective techniques, but my experience suggests that it is closer to true than false. 2) Java is easier to learn than many of the other languages. That's why many schools and universities use it for their programming langauges classes today. 3) Java is security conscious. The other solutions like Active X controls are designed with little regard for security. They're not full of holes because they were designed to have huge holes that give the virus complete access to the system. Java may not be perfect, but at least it tries. 4) Java is great for casual, interactive tools on the web. I use Flash and DHTML at Flyzone, but our best tool is still the interactive GameFrame system. This is also why many of the non-graphical on-line games like Poker at Yahoo use Java. There really are people who use Java for websites and the systems work pretty well. Let me know if you want pointers to more examples. For the last four years the folks at Microsoft have been telling me the same thing that you wrote. It's not really true. So Java's not perfect. It still doesn't deserve your portrayal. Peter Wayner <pcw@flyzone.com> Peter, Thanks for your note. I'll be sure to return the favor by reviewing your book without reading a single word. If you'd paid any attention while scanning "Java Been", you would have found I didn't have anything much to say — good, bad, or indifferent — about Java's scalability, productivity, security, or potential for literary chiaroscurantism. I'll summarize my piece: Java's great! Works really well on the back-end where Web servers do mysterious stuff. If you're a programmer, learning Java is enormously helpful to you and most likely financially rewarding. But if you're a moneyman or a marketer who spotted Java early as a supposedly cool technology and tried to ride the wave, you probably got soaked — and deservedly so. See, especially, the sordid tale of Sanga International noted above. Yours, Jonathan Dear Editor Who is the moron that wrote that Java article? The simple truth is that demand for Java is insatiable, commands presently the highest salaries and options , and is the basis of every project that needs to run on more than one platform! I should know. I'm vice-president for development at a telecom startup and we can't get a Java programmer of any experience without paying megabucks! Sincerely GalactusNT <rsilvetz@pacbell.net> As the moron who wrote that Java article, I feel obligated to point out that (a) you clearly didn't read it, and (b) maybe the Java programmers are avoiding you because you go by the ominous-sounding pseudonym "GalactusNT." As I wrote, Java's everywhere, but as boring if essential back-end technology. Java's story is the ultimate revenge of the nerds: they're raking in big salaries while the marketing hypesters and greedy financiers got pie in their face. Are your geeks laughing with you, or at you? Yours, Jonathan I am a Java developer, and over the past several months have seen a plethora of articles being written that announce the demise of Java. This is curious to me, as I do contracting for several companies and have many friends in many more companies and about 80% of these companies are moving to Java as their main application and back office platform. I am involved in several projects where major applications and frameworks are being re-written in Java, and businesses are being connected to the web by Java. From putting a fancy front end to the gas pump at your local gas station, to connecting legacy systems to the web, Java is pushing its way into more and more markets. Yes, there are many casualties, and it seems like they get all the attention. But what you aren't seeing is that there are more success stories than tragedies, and those successes are very practical, boring successes, so they aren't being plastered everywhere. I don't care if Java isn't the wiz-bang buzzword anymore, what I care about as a programmer is that it gets the jobs done that I need to get done much easier and much faster than anything else out there, and that is what really counts. > Andy DePue <adepue@eworksmart.com> Andy, Congratulations! As a Java developer you're poised to reap the benefits of this revolutionary programming language, unlike the Java marketers and financiers I described in my story. As for the plethora of articles that announce the demise of Java — sorry, mine wasn't one of them. The move of Java from the client to the back office is duly noted in my story. Perhaps I should have stated my point more succinctly: if you yourself can't code in Java, don't expect to make any money from it. Yours, Jonathan |
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