for 13 June 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Last Man Standing
Dear Suck.com: As the editor and publisher of SHECKYmagazine.com, and having just spent five days covering the Chicago Comedy Festival, I must tell you that the person who wrote the article on standup has crafted a wonderful-sounding article that says nothing. The readers of Suck.com would probably like nothing more than to believe that standup is dead. I must tell them that, in spite of what their favorite online magazine says, they will find that their next trip to a comedy club will probably be a wildly entertaining one. It's just a matter of exercising a little more care in how the entertainment dollar is spent. It sounds as though your columnist has based many of his conclusions on "one recent performance of a long-established gay and lesbian comedy night in Seattle." I would caution him/her to do a little more field research. This column has repeated the same nuggets that have appeared in countless analyses of standup over the last 15 years, only it used a slightly larger vocabulary and a few more semicolons. Your columnist betrays his hatred for standup with the introductory clause: "The bleakest future of them all, and therefore the scenario we prefer..." You'll get no points for honesty from us. Take it from someone with his pulse on the business, standup has never been healthier, either as a business, an art form or a springboard to success; and, according to our calculations, it's only going to get better. Sincerely, Brian McKim Editor, Publisher SHECKY! A magazine about standup... http://www.sheckymagazine.com <Editors@sheckymagazine.com> Thanks for writing, Brian. And thanks for noticing those semicolons. 40th Street Black  Another nail in the coffin: Margaret Cho's unwatchable concert film I'm The One I Want — which turns out not to have an ironic title. It demonstrates that even a gay audience — one of the last audiences for standup, since they can go out at night without having to get a babysitter or without fretting about what the urban vandals are doing to their SUVs — even they can be as easily stroked, cosseted and otherwise sucked up to as much as any Las Vegas audience in the 1950s. Good piece... Richard Von Busack <regisgoat@earthlink.net> Thanks. By the way, I think Cho clearly had the requisite combination of self-loathing and outsized personality to be a major sitcom star, but her producers forgot that broadly appealing spouse/lover (Meadows, Goodman, Richardson) to let the audience know not to be scared of her. 40th Street Black Dear 40th Street Black: Your article was both amusing and engaging. As a comedy producer (I produce shows at UC Berkeley through www.squelched.com), I frequent the San Francisco clubs and will readily admit that it is an overwhelmingly depressing and anemic scene. However, there is that 1% that really makes the art form worth it. Nationally, it's people like Dave Attell, Rick Overton, and Patton Oswalt who write well and take their jobs seriously, while in San Francisco, guys like Jim Short and Dan Rothenberg are amazing. Some are clean (Rothenberg), and some are a parody of the form itself (Attell), but all are respectable artists. Whether or not the media infrastructure will support them in the future is uncertain. Whether or not that support is wise is another question. I saw Robin Williams drop into the Punchline San Francisco for a guest set several weeks ago, and it was completely unremarkable and tedious except for the fact that it was Robin Williams. Most people who can't make a living doing stand-up don't deserve it. That also applies to most who can and do. I guess in closing, I don't really care about your article or stand-up comedy that much. I was just a little bored at work. Yours, Luke Filose Superb-Squelch Presents Comedy Producer <lfilose@newventuremarketing.com> p.s. I would love to work for Suck some day. Just so you know. I know Oswalt and Attell's work, and I enjoy David Cross, too. I'm sure there are others. But like you indicate, the percentages are just tough. If an upside of one percent was enough to make people happy, I'd have way more friends. But here's my real question: Was Williams working new material? And if so, whose? 40th Street Black Points well made on the death of standup, but you forgot to give some much-deserved heckling to cable channel Comedy Central as a prime suspect. Notice how, when CC bothers to run taped standup anymore, it always seems to be reruns of routines from years back? Oh, look, there's Drew Carey ca. 1994! Ralph Ward <rward@boardroominsider.com> Most days I agree with you. Others, I'm absolutely certain that Gallagher re-runs are the only thing that stands between America and a major class war. 40th Street Black In your wonderful article, you wrote: "In this future, the number of comedy clubs dwindles even further, and the remaining, little-paid stand-ups write increasingly elusive and nuanced material completely inscrutable to all but a highly-knowledgeable and devoted fan subculture." I was wondering if you weren't referring to Suck, in a backhanded way? Do I get a prize for getting that? Or just insulted in the Fish, which is a prize, in it's own way. Russell May <russmebs@hotmail.com> You're halfway there, Russell! Not only was I referring to Suck, I was referring to my own contributions to Suck and the cadre of high school classmates and bored relatives which will make up the entirety of my fan base. You know, John Burgess-style. 40th Street Black It is not surprising that stand up comedians are forced to explore means of income non-traditional to their field. With riveting comedy like "Why A Beer is Better Than Women" and "Redneck Jedi Quotes" popping up in mail boxes, often completely unsolicited, how can the laboring jokesmith expect to squeeze out a cover charge? However, the loss of the comedy club may turn to the comedian's advantage. The urge to perform comedy is, after all, seated in insecurity and the fickle reinforcement dished out at these places is not dissimilar to gang or drug cultures. The only difference is gang members grow up and move out of LA while comedians finally move out of their parents house and camp out on the highway with a sign that says LA or Bust. Maybe if those punch line houses didn't exist Chris Farley would be a happy web designer in Cleveland. Maybe not. In any case, the timing of the decline of comedy with the rise in Prozac may not be a coincidence. Laughing on the inside, Clay Niemann <clayn@dillonet.com> Very salient points, Clay. I know the decline of comedy in my own life is directly attributable to a rise in Prozac. 40th Street Black Cancer Schmancer I'll leave it to other Canadians to defend the relative merits of our health-care systems (summary: our popular system works, your unpopular system doesn't), analyze the logical inconsistencies (summary: "American health is getting better and better" [HMO apologist] versus "consumer goods are bad for you" [unnamed Cuban doctor]), or point out the Pee-Wee Hermanesque subtext ("I don't care if we can't get medical help, I didn't want it anyway. Health care sucks.") No, I want to concentrate on the most important facet of the health care debate; it's impact on screenwriting. Specifically, movies and TV shows about good people dabbling in crime to pay for a loved one's operation. If America solves its health care accessibility problems, where will the next rag-tag band of amateurs pulling a wacky caper come from? What will pull the grizzled yet charismatic thief back from retirement for just one more job? Where is our next Johnny Dangerously? There has even been a promising new mutation in the medical-care- driven plot device: the uninsured person who swaps identities with a friend in order to get coverage, to comic (old episode of Friends) or dramatic (some B-movie I can't be bothered to look up on imdb) effect. Just as ready availability of divorce decimated the murder-mystery kill-the- spouse-to- get-out- of-the- marriage plot, universal accessibility of health care will seriously endanger America's supply of mediocre plot devices. Think about it. Michael K. <michael.k@iname.com> I only wish I'd had time to stress your excellent point, below. And please do continue searching for logical consistency, especially between all of the laff lines. Best, Eugen Could someone knock that Libertarian chip off your Courtney Cunt loving shoulder? Healthcare is admittedly a multifaceted issue that doesn't deserve a quick size up, as you seem to think. Hey, let me guess, you're employed with good health insurance, are healthy yourself, and probably have wealthy parents, CONGRATS, you won the fucking elitist lottery! You never had to want for a goddamn thing in your crystal palaces, never had to have emergency surgery for sure with no way to pay for it. Must be nice to be so blessed, in your world everyone is lucky, survival of the fittest, makes me want to pop a cap in your head, forget your ass, you seem to need that to write with. You need your puppet mouth to the Neil Bortz contingent shot off though. One thing I've always admired about Suck writers is they do actually a fairly good job of reporting facts of issues on top of their biases, even Polly. In other words you're sorta given news at angles about current topics. Be those stories in some essence letters from the editor, the final call is pretty much left up the reader to make opinions. That's the sign of a good writer, something you are not. Who there gave such an opinionated blowhard as yourself a job, they should have put that crack pipe down and backed away quickly. What the hell is Suck doing putting such an opinionated politically motivated jackass like you on the web? I could write circles around you in a much more Suck vein with opinions just under radar but exposing in expose form topics while keeping it frothy but more importantly, funny, something you haven't even the concept of as you verbally jerk off to your opinions. You truly are a Eugen Von Bohm BaJerk! Suckerpunch I do earn a living by my own labor, I don't have health insurance, when I had over 60,000 in medical bills that insurance didn't cover my parents took me off their tax returns as a dependent quick as a wink. And I'd love to see the list of factual errors in my essay — the ones that aren't jokes, which I don't think you're good at recognizing. (Except that "BaJerk" one %#151 that's a killer. Please do begin writing for Suck, we need that kind of insightful japery). Eugen Herr von Bohm-Bawerk — I've just finished reading your odd piece on health care and I must say I'm confused. Perhaps it's because I'm a bit sleep-deprived: I just got off my shift (6pm-8am) as ER and inpatient pediatrician at St. Luke's Hospital, arguably San Francisco's poorest hospital (we beat out the county hospital, SF General, because they get bunches of tax money — not enough, but a great deal more than we). My hourly wage for my fourteen-hour shift is less than that earned by a master carpenter, a plumber, or a cop with seniority, and I'm unbenefitted — I even have to pay my supplemental malpractice insurance out-of -pocket. I don't even qualify for overtime pay, because I'm "a professional" (which makes me sound a bit like a fille de joie, but so be it). I frequently hear about how profit-driven and uncaring we MDs (and DOs) are, as well as how grossly overpaid and over-respected we are. To such complaints, I say: come see my paycheck, and sew up your own lacerations. We're busy monopolizing the treatment of the ill and the counseling of the well; we're overusing antibiotics, setting up the next plague; we're performing all manner of unnecessary surgeries and procedures. What a bunch of creeps we are. Makes me wonder how I can look in the mirror in the morning to shave. Fact: infant and child mortality is down — way down — largely because of large-scale immunization programs (publicly funded, just like in Canada and Cuba, your betes noire) and increased surveillance of infectious disease. Fact: overuse and improper use of antibiotics is often due to medications obtained without recourse to a physician — I can't tell you how many moms I've seen giving over-the-counter Mexican tetracycline to kids with colds. Fact: hospitals are folding all over — San Francisco's lost three ERs in five years — in part due to the failure of the "grassroots free-market Yankee ingenuity" you (presumably ironically) champion. HMOs don't want to pay out the money they take in, and thanks to absurdly lax oversight, they frequently don't have to — which allows them to offer breathtakingly extravagant salaries and benefits to their executives (and, occasionally, their stockholders). To be sure, if you are essentially healthy, diet and exercise will do more good for you than a busload of medication, and sewers have done more for the public's well-being than all the antibiotics ever devised. However, with an aging population, increasing incidence of asthma and allergic disorders, no let-up in the rate of accidents and violence, and the stubborn persistence of the ills to which the flesh is heir, we docs figure we're going to be necessary for a while. So please, Herr von Bohm-Bawerk, come work in the hospital with me. I could use the help; you could use the education. Yours most sincerely, Michael Treece, MD I wouldn't want to live in a world without ya, doc. I would want to live in a world where your union didn't have a significant grip over the granting of legal permission to perform certain services. Certainly, some people need the services of the health care profession frequently, and all of us will in our dying days. I was just arguing against the centrality of the profession's role in the actual good health of most Americans. Good to have you when health fails; but you aren't the most important champions of health per se. Get some rest. Eugen Eugen, Well put m' man! And what really irks me is having to pay for clean water. If there are any inalienable rights, access to clean water (of the non-chlorinated variety) has to be one of them. Regarding health care, people are more comfortable being told what to do as long as the mandates come with options and almost everyone seems to feel a societal obligation to wait in line. HEHEHE I loved the healthy, wealthy and wise clip... see ya on "Who Wants to Be A Survivalist". Gordon Woodcock <gordon.woodcock@honeywell.com> You may well be putting me on, but it's hard to get me riled about demanding something for free that requires building expensive infrastructure to set up (water). Otherwise, keep missilin', or whatever it is happens at Honeywell. Best, Eugen Subject: not too... ...funny. Or well aimed. You had two good points: the infantilization and "externalization of expectations" one and the higher effectiveness of public health than private medicine. But why are you dismissive of the health care needs of the unhealthy? It's not all last-stage treatment; some people get sick in their 20s or 50s, are needed at home and work, and actually respond to treatment and recover. Is this news? Everyone knows some story like this. Is my wish not to die if it happens to me entirely irrational? The reason that Americans hate HMOs is that at a time that medical treatments appear (note verb) to be more effective and easier to undergo, the bureaucratic treatment becomes more of a jungle. My doctor can get through my colon faster than I can get through my HMO's IVR. (And the pictures look the same!) I've sat in on some HMO strategy sessions, and they're not about ease-of-use, except for signing up. I know it's supposed to be a humor site, but maybe your punchline-to- dyspeptic-pontification ratio was lower today than your personal best. Jim Tobias Inclusive Technologies <tobias@inclusive.com> Sorry you didn't chuckle. Not even at the "Learned Elders of the AMA" bit? Heh, that one slays me. Anyway, one of your two points is actually the opposite of what I believe, and the major one I had in mind was pointing out that, despite the way they are conflated in various public policy debates, for most people in most situations neither health care nor health insurance have anything to do with their health. Best, Eugen "A similar combination of officially superlative health care with near complete misery can be found in Canada, " Like, what's this about? I have lived in the US (Los Angeles), and now live in Canada with so-called 'socialized' medicine. My sister in law gave birth to triplets last year (extremely tough load on the health care system), one niece has had liver cancer and taken treatment for it, my partner had terminal cancer and I had to drag him through the health care system here. So I've got a pretty good handle on the relative merits of both systems and a thorough association with the health care system here. You know what? The Canadian system is *vastly* superior in every way..... I haven't had cause for one complaint in any of the treatment I've seen received by my family. Ever lived in Canada and seen the health care system up close? I thought not. Don't comment on stuff you don't know anything about. Americans are stupid and selfish enough without encouraging them to think that they and their health care system is better somehow. Cheers. Larry M. Retzlaff, Planner City Planning Branch City of Saskatoon Development Services <Larry.Retzlaff@City.Saskatoon.Sk.CA> I wouldn't dream of arguing with a Canadian gov't planner about the Canadian gov't (though there are plenty of long-winded arguments about relative availability of the best equipment, waiting periods, why so many Canadians actually go to America for certain treatments, etc.). But broad mocking of our brothers to the north is kind of a suck tradition, and an Eugen one in particular. In fact, I've received over 200 angry emails from Canadians in my Suck writing career, and yes I'm proud. Best, Eugen Dear Eugen, Nice article today - I blindly agree with you about everything. My own grandmother died of pneumonia misdiagnosed at a Socialized Scotish hospital. I do wonder why you're calling Dr. Kevorkian out - the man's always seemed like an honest lunatic to me, not some flak for the establishment. I thought of you last night in a pizzeria when a Whitney Houston song came on - I wondered if you ever mentioned in your April article that, whatever the politics of celebrity misbehavior, her music is utterly boring. I've just skimmed through it and can't seem to find any reference to the quality of her work - only Courtney's. Suck writers (yourself included) usually do such a good job of pointing out how capitalist solutions to life's problems just RULE, but I wonder if anyone has ever really tackled whether capitalism is good for the arts? There was something about filmmakers making better movies under oppressive regimes, but I wasn't paying attention. You're my new fave, Colin Colin, Kervorkian may himself be a pleasant lunatic, but I thought it worth pointing out the pro-medical establishment nature of the campaign to legalize not suicide but doctor-assisted suicide. Seems like just another power grab to me. I don't enjoy Whitney's music, but since I was writing to defend her honor against scurrilous assaults in that ol' piece didn't see it worth mentioning. I don't know if Suck has ever tackled capitalism vs. art, but Colin there are these things called books where people make extended arguments about things not necessarily leavened with cruel sarcastic half-witticisms, and in that realm I recommend Tyler Cowen's In Praise of Commercial Culture (I think I have that title right) from Harvard U. Press last year. Check amazon.com for Tyler Cowen at any case. Best, Eugen |
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