for 8 May 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Generation Hex i think wired called new twenties from atms "yuppie food coupons" and not "dotcom food coupons". you suck. Ivan Hooker Grafik <ivan@grafik.com> You suck, too, Ivan, though I suspect I mean that more lovingly than you do. You're quite observant to note that Wired called them "yuppie food coupons" back in 1996. Details, however, recycled the piece in April of this year as "dotcom food coupons" — that's what I reported — which showed, I think, both a curious equivalence in their minds between "yuppies" and "dotcoms," as well as a fundamental misunderstanding of the dotcommunist way of doing business. Yours, Jonathan Van Decimeter  Nicely done JVD. I can't help but be amazed at the hypocrisy of George Colony's suggestions that Xers have pushed their ideas into popular media to the detriment of society at large. What the heck does he think he's doing? Being an Xer who remembers all too well what my prospects were when I got my BA in 1991, I know there's nothing to be had in trying to please the man. When the going gets rough, the baby boomers will circle the wagons and try to shut you down. However, since businesses are all "rational structures" with their own confused assumptions, it's best to Ponzi scheme the assumption memes to your advantage. Flick on full transmit mode and hype that S.O.B. idea! It doesn't matter what you're saying as long as you're the first in and the first out. If all that's left to hand over to the baby boomers is an empty shell of a company, then we did the job that we're socioculturally allowed to do. Here you go. You're the center of the universe and the hegemon of oh... everything, so you make it work, genius. It's not our fault if you suddenly stop believing the B.S. we're spinning simply because you accidentally found out that it was that other generation making it happen for you. Heywood Jabuzzoff Considering that the baby boomers handed us so many empty shells of companies — been to downtown Detroit lately? — it only seems fair, as you point out, that we return the favor. Yours, Jonathan This is exactly the sort of stylistic excess I'd expect Suck's editors to rail against. Don't indulge in smug little turns of phrases like "the intellectual set." It's irritating. Benjamin I. Helfinstein <bhelfin@wlcg.com> Funny, I thought I read something about "smug little turns of phrases" in Suck's mission statement. But I actually found your note reassuring; I've always felt like I fall short in the smug-turning-of-phrase department, when compared to, say, BarTel d'Arcy or St. Huck. Yours, Jonathan Subject: NoBrow Sucker, Damn you! I was working on a piece for Suck based loosely on my own angst inducing reading of NoBrow. While it appears Mr. Seabrook(sp?) is a very intelligent man (and, I'm guessing, possibly gay - how else can you explain such consternation over clothing purchases?), I found his premise hyper-cynical and his conclusions way to pessimistic and at times even contradictory. I object to you furthering his bottom line by providing a link to an ecommerce house for his book (of course, I'm going over the edge here too). Other than that, thanks for a great article - are you rich yet? Todd <mentcht@yahoo.com> To quote the Pets.com Sock Puppet in a recent issue of Time Digital, "They're supposed to pay you for this?" As to Mr. Seabrook's sexual orientation, I'll pass on your request for a date and we'll see how he responds, mmmm? Top line, bottom line — form a line! Yours, Jonathan How about Value America's plunge where Craig Winn (45 yrs old) ended up with $50M and Paul Allen lost $54?M? Brett Baer <bbaer@circadence.com> Mmmm, but isn't that just an example of boomers screwing each other? If I wanted to see that, I could obtain samizdat spouse-swapping porn from the depths of suburbia. Jonathan My husband and I (both 24 years of age) were recently talking about the bad blood between the boomers and gen xers. It is nice to see we are not the only ones who feel that there is a jealous streak running through our society. Our only reaction is screw our boomer parents and their parents for telling us that we would never amount to anything. We did and we are rich because of it. The thing our generation has proven is that you can kick us from day one, tell us we won't make it and will never be worth anything, fine, just don't get all worked up because we are making more money in a year than you could in 15. I have spent my whole life hearing that our generation is going to fail, never work and always depend on our parents for a hand out. And my parents still want to know why I am such a pessimist. You hear it your whole life you start to believe it. The amazing thing about it though is the fact we heard it, and reacted. Screw you was the theme, watch me make it, and make it better than you. Now they see we did, and now we didn't do it good enough. Well who cares what the baby boomers think anymore, they are the ones sinking all of their hard earned money into our get quick businesses. My hat's off to US. Just remember to stuff some of our billions under the mattress, because our money is paying for the boomers retirement. Social Security is running out. We won't have any when we are 60. Squander so we won't leave our children having to support us because our parents couldn't get their acts together. Thanks for the article, it at least kept me from feeling all alone in my thoughts. We have succeeded and proven that we are better at it than the generations before. Too bad they kicked us to the curb. Who is going to volunteer to save them in the next war. Not me. I have no loyalty to them or our boomer government. I do know however we as the Gen X tradition has proven will survive, and in style. Jaime Peters Inner CityMiddle School Teacher <petersjaime@hotmail.com> Of course, if you look at capital flows, we're funding the baby boomers' retirements one way or another. Who do you think has been daytrading their mutual-fund portfolios up to million-dollar levels? The younger, greater fools of Generation X, that's who. If you've been in the stock market since 1980, you're set. If you're getting in now ... well, gambling's always been the most amusing way to part a fool and his 401(k). Yours, Jonathan Jonathan: Excellent article. And thanks for pointing out one of Colony's missing links, that many of the e-commerce sites about to go bust are run by B-grads who got in the show without taking one second to understand that, surprise of all surprises, e-commerce isn't like running Johnson & Johnson or GE. That is, from my observations, the big source of the vacuous nature of e-commerce CEO's Colony talks about. Jim Hillhouse <jdhouse4@jump.net> Thanks for the kind words. I call the phenomenon you observe the "Barksdale Effect," after the smooth-talking and technically unsavvy ex-CEO of Netscape. Many a company would rather have a graybeard who can calm the capital markets than someone who actually knows what e-commerce is about. Viva Jeff Bezos, even though he's on the old side of Generation X. Jonathan Super Sounds of the Seventies Subject: Three Mile Island... ...was a PARTIAL meltdown of one of two reactors on-site, not a "meltdown." A meltdown would have resulted in more radiation exposure. As for the "irradiation" of Harrisburg citizens, it's hardly that. There's not nearly enough radiation in that area to even kill bacteria. The mutants produced there are not the result of radioactive material, but the inbreeding of a primitive culture:) Just thought I'd also mention that a "Chernobyl" is not possible in the United States, due not only to the limited sizes of the reactors, but the concrete enclosures in which they are housed. The only people who would be killed by a meltdown in the US are some workers inside the plant. SMR <srooks@astro.ocis.temple.edu> Yes, yes, of course, though you ignore the one true casualty of Three Mile Island:Dan Akroyd, who played an irradiated Amazing Colossal President Carter back in the days when we were stoned enough not to realize just how awful that show always has been. If we lived in a simple world in which correlation implied causation, then Three Mile Island is responsible for the subsequent demise of Danny Boy's career. Which I'm sure you'll agree is aptly described as in a state of meltdown in its most Chernobylian connotation. Luminously, Mr. M Subject: Super Sounds of the Seventies Hello, Sucksters: I have to offer a minor correction to your '70s column: Rene Richards was (and is) an ophthalmologist, not a dentist. And as for no one taking Erich von Daniken seriously, my older brother took him very seriously - and he wasn't even stoned! He was eleven, though. In any case, I enjoyed the column - but I can't quite bring myself to thank you for reminding me about Bicentennial minutes and Qiana shirts. Lemuel <lemuel_s@excite.com> My childhood friend who had her teeth cleaned (and nothing else, you of filthy minds) by a pre-change Rene Richards will no doubt be interested in such news. As will two out of three dentists who are pondering a gender change. Still hailing polyester, Mr. M Subject: bon jour! Thank you for that 'groovy trip' (facetious) down memory lane. So when is the '80s doc coming out - next week?? NBC scares me. Will they happen to cover Anita Bryant and her homophobic antics/or Harvey Milk in San Fran? I doubt it. But that doesn't mean it didn't happen - right? ha ha I was born in '70 so i really don't remember much prior to a hazy recollection of Ford leaving office & Captain Kangaroo. Always a pleasure! C <cpdmange@cmp.com> There are only hazy recollections of Ford in office for those who lived during those days. Captain Kangaroo, btw, was actually from the 1870s. Nostalgically, Mr. M Subject: a fine argument for an awful decade Fine piece, and it was nice to read something pro-sexual and personal freedom. It's still hard for me to warm up to the decade - except for Robert Crumb, those Joni Mitchell albums and the wonderful sourpuss movies they made, where everyone gets divorced and dies violently in the last reel - and those were the Hollywood movies! (And if you're really an afficianado of the "Bummer Decade" be sure to see the new film Waking the Dead. It has plenty of Ford-era malaise and random death, in addition to a hair-raisingly accurate seventies-girl performance by Jennifer Connelly - I don't know how the hell she got it so right.) But considering mostly that I spent the time (aged 12-20) in Los Angeles, being snubbed by the females, looking unsuccesfully for a job, and being interrogated as a longhair by the LAPD everytime I set foot out the door, I have to say I can't share in this '70s nostalgia. Yes, the '90s are very hard cheese indeed and if I were in my twenties I don't know how I could handle nineties boredom, bad music, conformity, and most of all ruinous fucking expense. Compared to the current rat-race, Studio 54 sounds like fun - but, remember please, the point of Studio 54 was that not everyone was allowed inside. Keep up the good work, Richard Von Busack <regisgoat@earthlink.net> p.s. The Filth and the Fury is another fine '70s movie that's just coming out, a documentary about those boredom fighters the Sex Pistols. The feel good movie of 2000! Dear Baron Von Busack, My favorite Sex Pistol was Margaret Thatcher, but rumor has it she dropped out when they went soft on the queen. Still wondering who killed Bambi, Mr. M Dear Mr. Mxyzptlk, It looks like the Sucksters left a word (to wit: 'one') out of one of my favorite lines in today's Suck: Indeed, the 1970s surely rank as of the five or six best decades of the second half of the 20th century. I wrote a column for Suck years ago, and they made some edits that rankled me. But such is the deal: take their money, and live with their having mangled your work. :) By the way... can you say what ASCII 6b6c74707a79786d spells? regards, Tom Ace <crux@qnet.com> Thank for the eagle-eye close read. Many of us from that thing that makes it hard to attention. Ritalinless, Mr. M Dear Mr. Mxyzptlk, I have absolutely no interest in television about the '70s. None. "That '70s Show" has already brought out all the tired clichŽâs from the decade in a way that doesn't make you want to smoke crack. Its success only goes to show that each decade experiences the same shit only with different hair styles. Anything made today will be more influenced by the present than the past, so why wallow in nostalgia between dot com ads? In thirty years are we going to want to see listless Gen Xers discussing whether Pearl Jam or Nirvana best represents grunge while brushing pot seeds out of their flannel shirts and sweating the results of their friend's latest AIDS test? I hope not. I've already seen Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawk in that movie. Then again, I spent most of the '70s in diapers. This means no drugs or free love to cut the sting of avocado green wallpaper and brown shag carpet, so I may be bitter about the whole subject. Defending myself against '70s, Clay Niemann <clayn@dillonet.com> If you spent much of the '70s in diapers, you can rest assured that you'll be wearing the same ensemble right around the time when Gen X nostalgia comes around three decades hence. Mark my words, Christina Aguilera will never have sounded better. And you'll learn to enjoy once again the benefits and pleasures of incontinence. Unrepressively, Mr. M |
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