for 24 March 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
|
|
Should I write in a vote for Suck.com? The self-important ("esteemed") Webby Awards judges left Suck off the nominees list this year. In lieu of vengeful, time-consuming DNS attacks, and in the spirit of the merchandise-fueled grassroots campaign, I've decided to just write in "Suck.com" to win an award. Apparently, this is a popular notion because the Webby site told me I wasn't the first. I don't expect any Suck.com-branded items in return for this miniscule gesture, but I'm sure your legion(s) of fans would appreciate your preference as far as categories go --"Print & Zines" or "Humor." You've been nominated before in both, so the Webby people can't figure it out either. John Teti <johnteti@kear.tdsnet.com> Thanks for your support, John. Real stickers with sticky backs are headed your way even as we speak. Suck fully endorses all efforts to disrupt the orderly functioning of the Webby Awards. We have endorsed such efforts in past years and will continue to do so until such time as Suck is awarded first prizes in the Webbys' Fashion, Living and Sports categories. But let's keep something in mind. Suck has been unfairly ignored over the years. But Lori Berenson has been held without trial in a Peruvian prison for more than four years. Ms. Berenson's continued incarceration is a rebuke to all people who treasure liberty and honor due process of law. Therefore, we urge all our readers to put aside Suck's concerns for a moment and write www.freelori.org into the Webbys' "Humor" category — and any other Webby categories which you see fit. Thanks for listening, and let's free Lori Berenson. Sucksters  Hit & Run You people rock. I've been telling my witless, Protestant, Jewish and Hindu friends that they don't seem to understand how significant the statement by the Pope is but they've just responded with crying, whining or some kind of crazy, Hindustani chant to their pagan gods. This is, of course, better than the response from the Agnostics, which is a blank stare, or that from the Atheists, which is some kind of angry, inchorent muttering about irrelevance and some word that sounds a little too much like moronosity. So, by posting on Suck that its the act and not the action, you've managed to cement Catholic theological dominance at one telecommunications start-up. Thank you, God bless you and realize we're knocking off a couple years in purgatory for this. Elijah Meeks <ElijahM@AdicomWireless.com> Would you mind not telling everybody our game plan, Elijah? The last guy to try cementing Catholic theological dominance in America was JFK Sr., and look what happened to him. Sucksters Code This Book dear boob, the "Code This Book" article was great; i wonder if "BOOK READERS"(ha) will even give a damn when they discover that the 'urban tour-de-force' novel they just read was written by TRASHY, the cognizant TRS-80 computer... signed, a boob fan I often wonder that myself. But what they don't know, won't hurt them. TRASHY will keep on keeping it real until Tandy discontinues his power supply, or until his poetry slam vs. the Commodore PET is made public. Let's hope neither happens soon. yours, The Boob Do we have any Macedonians in the audience? Hello there from sunny Macedonia... I guess you don't have slightiest idea where the hell this country is, but i think that our goverment could apply for your name, Suck, in the UN (We are referenced there by some stupid burocrats and Greece as FYROM, or Former Yougoslav Republic of Macedonia). Anyway, that's not my point. How do u want to gain some wider audience if you are so concentrated on United states only? There is a lot wider audience in Europe, app. 300 milions of EU citizens. Did u ever thought of localisation for some particular market? Then, word of mouth will come up. Suck.com will be where should be; number 1 site. Your regular reader (who, btw, always reffering you as n.1 on-line event at many news groups in .mk domain) Dragan Tomovski <tomas@rsc.com.mk> Good to hear from you, Dragan. Lucky you, to be living among the gentle shepherds and sunswept groves in the land of Philip and Alexander. Admittedly, we haven't thought much about your charming nation since we stopped seeing those big "MACEDONIA IS GREEK!" signs during Greek Pride Day. But it's good Macedonians like you who are helping to build a more just and prosperous Europe. yr pal, barTel Hit & Run Fuck the pope. His hateful actions against women and gays speak louder than his hypicritical words. The man makes me puke. W.Massi/L.Brinkin <wmassi@wenet.net> Simmer down, W. The Pope has never been critical of hypies. During his 1993 "Culture of Death" tour he even skipped vespers to catch the Dead at Red Rock. Sucksters Subject: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Dear Sucksters: Just letting you know I enjoyed the slag on Ted Rall in today's SUCK (2000/03/16). If you haven't seen 'em already, there's lots of info about the hilarious Rall v. Hellman lawsuit at the following sites: http://www.dannyhellman.com/ http://www.sper-anza.com/ freedirtydanny/ Please keep up the good work....if you ever need me, just reach out and I'll be there, baby. dirty danny <dannyhellman@mindspring.com> One thing that's always puzzled me while watching the Rall-Hellman grudgematch and noting the various wrestlers who have weighed in (for example on Mike Speranza's petition): Why hasn't Spiegelman himself ever given you a vote of support? Not that it would help with the suit, but wouldn't that be the decent gesture? In any event, I had forgotten Rall's weinified comments about litigation and its place in the coming commie revolution; I hope this will serve as one more reminder of the bankruptcy of Marxist/Leninist ideas and encourage everybody to jump into our great capitalist hottub, where the water is always scintillating! yr pal, tim Subject: Making noise about you guys Dear Sucksters, The February 8, 2000 of PC Magazine had a list of the best 100 sites on the Internet. I was shocked to find that you were not mentioned! I wrote an angry email to them at pcmag@ zd.com . The letter is at the bottom of this email. I then read that you were no longer selling Suck merchandise and would only give it to people for their loyalty. I wrote this email for that reason. If you think my action is eligble for a reward, I would gladly accept it. I will send a copy of this letter via snail mail to the PC Magazine office tommorow. Keep sucking! Anand Bhat <fearx25@hotmail.com> Dear PC Magazine, In your February 8, 2000 issue, you had a list of the 100 best sites on the Internet. Sadly, you did not mention Suck.com anywhere! Suck.com is the oldest daily web publication on the net. The fact that it did not even get a mention is an insult to a site that provides daily laughs only for the price of looking at the adds at the bottom of the screen. The Sucksters were trying to make the web the place to be way before most of the sites you mentioned had even an inkling of a idea about what to do about the medium. To not pay homage to these pioneers of content and the web who deliver low-tech laughs for four years now is an insult to readers of Suck.com and Suck.com itself. Sincerely, Anand Bhat <fearx25@hotmail.com> Nice work, Anand. Pioneers! Very rustic! Your T-shirt is in the mail. Sucksters |
|
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||
   |
||||||||||||||||
 |  |
|||||||||||||||
 |   | |||||||||||||||
![[Tim Cavanaugh]](/fish/staff/images/tim.gif)
![[Copy Edit]](/fish/contributors/images/gies.gif){kind=small}
![[Phillip Bailey]](/fish/staff/images/phil.gif){kind=small}
![[yes, it's
a plunger. i'll l
eave the rest up to your imagination ... ]](/fish/staff/images/erin.gif){kind=small}
![[Brian
Forsyth, " we're just spanning time "]](/fish/staff/images/brian.gif)
![[the fixin'
pixie... ]](/fish/staff/images/emily.gif)
![[Ian
Connelly]](/fish/staff/images/ian.gif){kind=small}