THE MAN WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN PRESIDENT! PRESIDENT! PRESIDENT!
This week's Filler is dedicated to the man who made our lives a little
bit more interesting over the past few months... A likeable enough
man, despite his delusions. A man who always inspired a response,
whether it be a smile, a sigh, a single teardrop, a deep belly
laugh... Thanks for the memories, Bob. We're gonna miss ya.
But thankfully, he left us with none too few pointers on how to
communicate a message...
Tip #1: REPEAT THYSELF
"To him, this is all a power game. It's a game! It's a game!
It's a game!" [New York Times, 10/25/96]
"We will not have drug dealers eating at the White House in a
Dole administration. This is a disgrace! This is a disgrace!" [New
York Times, 10/25/96]
"Look around the world. We've lost respect all around the world,
all around the world." [New York Times, 10/25/96]
"Double-talk has a bad name because of this group, this group of
elitists in the White House who've never done anything, never done
anything, and now they're running the country, running the
country." [New York Times, 10/28/96]
"They've turned the White House into something else, I don't know
what it is. It's the animal house! It's the animal house!" [New York
Tip #2: NONSENSE SPEAKS TO THE PEOPLE
Bob Dole at Grand Blanc High School, MI, where the mascot is a bobcat:
"Obviously I'd be proud to be in the home of the Bobcats. Bobcat.
Keep that in mind. We've never had a Bob in the White House. Don't you
think it's time? Yeah. Right. We do have a cat in the White House.
Socks. But we don't have a Bob in the White House." [New York
Tip #3: SCARE 'EM INTO LISTENING
"If you want to see this country go downhill in the next four
years, then you vote for Bill Clinton." [New York Times, 10/25/96]
"We better start focusing on education in America, or this country
is going to hell in a handbasket before we know it." [New York Times,
"One week to tell the American people, 'Watch out!"' [New York
Describing an imagined session of administration officials
rummaging through confidential FBI files:
"He sits there drinking a beer and saying, 'Let's look
through Bob Dole's file today, yeah, and see what he's got going. Set 'em
up boys. Have another beer. Let's look through some more FBI files.'"
[New York Times, 10/28/96]
Tip #4 EXPLOIT NON-ISSUES
"America is for Americans." [New York Times, 10/28/96]
"We're reaching out to those soccer moms all across America."
[New York Times, 10/25/96]
Bob, we hardly knew ye. Thanks for the memories! Memories!