for 9 October 1996. Updated every WEDNESDAY.

OH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED... Bush's lead singer, Gavin Rossdale, on the group's sex appeal: "Since most of our success was on the radio, I don't know how much dick you can put on the radio, except for the sound." [Village Voice, 9/17/96] Sherman Woo, director of information tools and technologies, US West Communications: "People who have home pages have work. And people who don't, don't have work." [Fast Company, 9/96] Angel Williams, co-owner of Kokobar, an Internet café in the Fort Green section of Brooklyn: "I thought it would be a good idea if someone put an espresso bar in the 'hood." [Wired, 9/96] Laurie Anderson: "Everybody should think they're ultra-cool. The world would be a much better place." [Tweak] Photographer Annie Leibovitz, discussing her days on assignment during the war in Bosnia: "I think everyone should be shot at. You respect life more; I think there would be less complaints." [Southwest Photographic, 9/96]

	MINORITIES BRING SUCH ENJOYMENT! Rev. Lou Sheldon, founder of the Traditional Values Coalition: "Homosexuality is trying to declare itself a minority, like blacks... We very much learned to enjoy blacks, Hispanics, Asians and the handicapped. But the way you experience sex is emotional, not like the color of your skin." [Time, 9/23/96] EMOTIONAL VS. ENJOYABLE Do all life's experiences boil down to just two variables? Seems like it right now, anyway...

GETTING TO KNOW YOU... A Fish, a Barrel, and a Smoking Gun: Do you know them? Have you ever really known them? A look at the legendary muses of Suck... THE SMOKING GUN DISTINGUISHING FEATURES Saw Clockwork Orange 10 times; has a number of scars from various self-inflicted burns and cuts VICES Marlboro Reds, red wine, anything red WEAKNESSES Jealousy, instant rage, hair-trigger disgust, rampant cynicism mixed with hopeless romanticism, a contradictory mix that provides an inexhaustible flow of inspiration, but inevitably brings endless misery and despair DEEP-SEATED INSECURITIES Questions whether or not there's a single fact in his head underneath layers and layers of witty quips, unmitigated resentment of everything and everyone and references to bad magazines and worse TV CHILDHOOD Very, very, very unhappy BURNING QUESTION "Will anyone ever really love me for ME?" BURNING DESIRE Make everyone within a five-foot radius believe that their motivations aren't pure enough ROLE MODELS Joan Didion, Howard Stern, Dorothy Parker, Kurt Cobain FAVORITE SAYING "I used to hate you, but now I just feel sorry for you." OVERUSED TERMS pathetic, bullshit, yeah right, come on, ha! BIGGEST SECRET Lusts after Alanis Morissette THE BARREL DISTINGUISHING FEATURES Inserts haughty sniffs and eye-rolling into every conversation; doesn't shower enough VICES Martinis, poorly assembled outfits WEAKNESSES Vanity, condescension, total lack of empathy paired with chafing self-righteousness DEEP-SEATED INSECURITIES Questions whether or not there's any liquid, spontaneous intelligence underneath the piles and piles of facts she's accumulated CHILDHOOD Deeply dissatisfying BURNING QUESTION "Is it really elitist to believe that revolution is driven by key individuals, even when it's clear enough that the general public would sooner eat a week-old tuna sandwich than think for themselves?" BURNING DESIRE Make all within a five-foot radius believe that they're really, really stupid FAVORITE SAYING "That remark only underscores your utter lack of understanding of [insert concept, author, genre, era, etc.]" ROLE MODELS Her honors thesis advisor in college, who wrote the definitive book on something no one understands or cares about OVERUSES THESE TERMS lowbrow, ill-informed, utterly bourgeois BIGGEST SECRET Loves the movie "Grease" THE FISH DISTINGUISHING FEATURES Gets sexually excited when his computer displays the message, "Getting ready to make a connection." VICES Dummy pipe, stale doughnuts, Penthouse Forum DEEP-SEATED INSECURITIES Wonders if a handful of Black Stallion novels, a couple articles in Wired, and a few passages of McLuhan make a person "well-read" CHILDHOOD Not so bad, minus that Coal Mining Camp his parents sent him to when he was 6 BURNING QUESTION "What the future LOOKS like... will there be lots of silver clothing and an orgasmatron just like in 'Sleeper'?" FAVORITE SAYING "No shit, Sherlock!" ROLE MODELS Pauly Shore, Douglas Coupland, Jenny McCarthy, Kevin Costner, Agnetha (y'know, the blonde one) of ABBA OVERUSES THESE TERMS yikes, biatch, piss boy, tall dollars, bourgeois, what gives? BIGGEST SECRET Has never read the paper

BARREL AND GUN REVOLT! The true story of a plebeian uprising extraordinaire!

words Polly Esther pictures Terry Colon