IS KATZ ON CRACK?*
Or are you?*
You make the call!
[Source: Netizen, 9/3 - 9/17]
* = It's a metaphor! Get it?
1. "Some time deep in the coming millennium, long after the culture
wars now raging in America have
the rapper Tupac Shakur will be remembered as
one of the seminal figures in the evolution of American popular
culture and new media.... [T]here's little doubt, judging by his
life and times, that Tupac Shakur will prove as historic a figure
in the annals of modern media as Dan Rather, or Barbara Walters,
or Walter Cronkite."
Choose your response:
a) Abso-fucking-lutely right on, boyeee! Tupac ruled!
b) Old media celebrates the same old "important" media figures, so new
media must embrace everyone else.
So couterintuitive, it just might work.
c) Who is Tupac Shakur?
d) Thinking about the raging culture wars makes me want to get
high. Maybe Katz can hook me up...
2. "Mainstream journalists hate interactivity more than any other new
media idea because it not only diminishes their power, it exposes
them to all sorts of raucous criticism and response, varying from
intelligent to belligerent
a) He's right! All those elitist writers are just worried that
interactivity will nullify their hoity-toity preoccupation with
facts, or put them into the firing range of a well-placed "I know
you are but what am I?"
b) Preposterous - his logic is utterly flawed! I'd like to fuck
him up! Stupid dummy.
c) He'd better hope interactivity is the next big thing, because
he's burning more bridges than Don Rickles... whom I just read an
interesting piece about in The New York Times Magazine...
d) Dumb... numb. Mmm. Crack. Katz!!
3. "Interactivity isn't a new gimmick
for the new media, but a possible salvation for the old. The
problem is that before many journalists will believe in this,
they'll have to actually talk to their readers, and that would be
the biggest miracle of all."
a) No shit! Those writer guys are so damn elitist - they think they
know everything, and they don't care about the people who read
their stuff at all, and it's, like, totally impossible that they'd
ever really listen to what anyone else had to say. Jerks.
b) Thanks to new media, crackheads are off the streets and in real
jobs, writing real articles and stuff!
c) I'll mourn the death of old media when I see its obituary in
The New York Times.
d) It would be a big miracle if Katz showed up with some crack
4. "TV also mitigates against the rise of Superpundits,
giving viewers too many choices for us all to end up with the same
a) Yep, 'cause the more channels we get, the less we'll agree.
b) If Superpundits have super powers like Superman, maybe we
should let them decide anyway.
c) If Katz came into view, I wouldn't know whether to insult him
or just administer a swift beatdown and call it a day.
d) Super. Crackatz!!!
5. "The hemorrhaging survivors of the Punditocracy are panicked. They
are not going gracefully. They accuse you of being civically
dumb, apathetic, disinterested, and ignorant... You've voted
with your channel switchers, modems, keyboards, and time. And, in
a landslide, you've driven the pundits from their perches, in
perhaps the most interesting and meaningful election held this
a) Yeah, we voted with our appliances and kicked out those old
guys on their perches and stuff! We're not some kind of civic
dummies like they think we are!
b) Come to think of it, last time I watched 20/20, Barbara Walters
did look kind of panicked... but I didn't know she was
c) Time to change the channel.
d) I want to do crack with Katz again tonight, just like I did
Score each question as follows:
a = You and Katz are on crack.
b = You are on crack.
c = Katz is on crack.
d = You and Katz do crack together.