for 11 September 1996. Updated every WEDNESDAY.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION The Future of Computing: Fabulous or Frightful? [Source: AP Newswire, 8/22/96] "Think computers, only smaller. So small you could swallow one or wear one in your long johns." "So smart they'd fade into the background and you'd notice only the information you were getting, not where it was coming from." "Already, the Army has a computer the size of a pill that could be swallowed to track the core body temperatures of soldiers on training missions. A pager-sized alarm would alert the commanding officer that a recruit was about to go into hypothermia." "In San Diego, the Navy is building a "sensate liner" - an intelligent set of long johns woven from conductive polymers that would tell medics what was wrong with a wounded soldier and how soon they should get there..." "At MIT, researchers envision a world where the computer a person is wearing would interact with its environment, plucking information out of the air for its master's use." "'We have a plant in our lab which doesn't get watered appropriately... A month later, the plant can send the message "I need to be watered" and it would be uploaded to the system so that anyone looking at the plant would see a little note that says, "Water Me!"'"

	DIFFICULT + IMPRACTICAL = LUCRATIVE Christopher Colby, Loyola Computer Science professor, on discovering the largest prime number found to date: "I'd have to say that it's not really significant at all for any practical use. I would use it to get more research grants, perhaps." [Reuters, 9/4/96] HOW VALUABLE IS YOUR DISCOVERY OR INVENTION? Just place it on this chart and find out!

METAPHOR O' THE WEEK Frank Catalano, a computer industry analyst and consultant, on the browser wars between Netscape and Microsoft: "Microsoft isn't an 800-pound gorilla, they're like a whole colony of 800-pound gorillas. It's been shown over and over again that you don't knock off the dominant player by fighting them head on." [Detroit News, 8/24/96] WISHFUL THINKING O' THE WEEK Carla McMorris, spokesperson for Pac Bell's regional website, At Hand: "We built the site for consumers to find what they're looking for; advertising becomes information when consumers are searching for a product." [Advertising Age, 8/26/96] OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTE O' THE WEEK Jakob Nielsen of Sun Microsystems: "One of the first rules is: Shut up." [Web Week, 8/19/96] HEADLINE O' THE WEEK "Anna Nicole Smith's Boobs Explode" [Globe, 9/3/96]

Scrawled on brick wall in South Park: "Fuck Capuchino [sic] Capitalism." Other suggested subversive slurs: Die, Delusional Digerati Dreks! Go Away, Way New Wankers! Fuck Focaccia Futurist Fat-Cats! Lick Me, Lily-White Libertarian Lunkheads! Screw Swanky Spritzer-Swilling South Park Socialites! Making World Safe for Decaf Democracy! Blacken the Wiseass Whippersnappers! Pop a Cap in a Quad Frap Ass!

words Polly Esther pictures Terry Colon