IMPENDING WEB WIPEOUT OR CURIOUSLY STRONG COFFEE?
You make the call! A short quiz for wily Web lovers everywhere.
1. "Perhaps it's just my imagination, but on my last visit to the Primo Patio Cafe [see also: where cyberculture eats lunch], the atmosphere seemed strained. The laughter sounded forced. People appeared to be gripping their glasses of iced tea just a bit too tightly."
With this quote, the writer has discovered evidence of:
a) impending doom in WebWorld, USA
b) a dangerously strong strain of coffee circulating in South Park despite a federal crackdown in the area
c) a dangerously bad strain of acid circulating in South Park despite a federal crackdown in the area
d) the fact that anyone with a pen and paper can sell a story on how the Internet is overhyped
2. "IPOs are a scam."
What the writer really means is:
a) I'm not familiar with even the most basic investment strategy
b) inaccurate generalizations make for provocative, controversial pieces
c) eating lunch at the Primo Patio Cafe has taught me lots!
3. Finish this sentence:
"I find myself unmoved by the prospect of a tragic collapse of this business model..."
a) because I'm sick of all those articles about how GREAT the Internet is! The Internet is stupid.
b) because I don't have stock or options (other than to write apocalyptic essays like this one).
c) because when massive numbers of people in my town lose their jobs, I'll be able to walk around all day saying, "Haa-haaaa! Burrrrn!"
4. "The goal is to sell out."
With this statement, I am reminded:
a) of what the goal is
b) that someday I might get the modern appliances and stain-resistant carpets I deserve
c) all of the above
1. d 2. b 3. c 4. c
[Quotes from "What comes after the cyber gold rush?" by Andrew Leonard, San Francisco Bay Guardian, 7/9/96]