MAKING LUNCH (OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL)
Instant Psychoanalysis! Read the quote, think about it for a second (but
not too long), then answer the multiple choice questions to find out Who You Are
and What To Do About It!
Jim Griffin, Director of Technology for Geffen Records: "If your budget's being
cut, you're just not having lunch with the right people." [LAN Times, 6/10/96]
1. Reading this quote makes me feel:
a) warm and fuzzy
b) cold and prickly
c) proud of myself
d) proud to be an American
2. I realize now that I am:
a) not having lunch with the right people
b) not having the right people for lunch
c) just as good as Jim Griffin - or anyone else, for that matter
d) having lunch with the right people
3. In terms of my career, this comment makes me feel:
a) READY TO FOCUS on a solution to the obstacles ahead, including immediate plans to interface with some major names and workshop some quick fixes for the problems that lie in our path.
b) CHEAP for working in an industry in which having lunch with the right people is a basic strategy for success. It makes me want to
sell my Armani suit and head for the land of the lotus eaters...
c) GLAD that I'm not threatened by this statement, because I'm big enough to be accepting of all different kinds of people.
d) EXCITED about the possibilities created by the digital revolution, in which even assholes like myself can make tall dollars and influence other assholes like myself just by talking shit over a plate of mahi-mahi.
4. If I were having lunch with Jim Griffin, I would:
a) order something easy to eat, so as not to spill on my shirt, thus spoiling a potential win-win business alliance.
b) be schmoozing in the hopes that he could get my band's demo tape in the hands of someone over there at Geffen, but it would make me feel really cheap and pretentious.
c) feel threatened, but luckily my therapist and I have been developing some strategies for coping with such a reaction.
d) be wasting my time - who the hell is he?
If you at least 3 As, you're
If you got at least 3 Bs, you're a
If you got at least 3 Cs, you're a
Very Sensitive Person Avec Issues.
If you got at least 3 Ds, you're
Destined to Succeed.
If you got any combination not described above, you're
You're a TQM expert, and you've read "The One Minute Manager" 20 times. You're currently taking a course on Overcoming Your Fear of Success. You hate the stupid fucks at Suck (such negative energy!) and your daily return to this site reflects an underlying self-destructive urge, caused by your mother scolding you too much as a child. Advice: Seek professional help.
You drink a $3 latte every morning, but continue to pay lip service to the proletariat. You shudder at the sight of silk ties and often wax philosophic on the perils of corporate culture. You have some creative hobbies you refer to as your raison d'être. Money makes you feel dirty, but you're still living beyond your means. You hate the stupid fucks at Suck, because they're sell-outs, but return daily because every minute spent online is a minute spent wasting your corporate employer's dollars, and thus, subverting the dominant paradigm. And because your job is boring. Advice: Get more sleep. Move into a cheaper appartment and quit your day job. Consider
Very Sensitive Person Avec Issues
What are you doing here?
Destined to Succeed
Every day you thank God that it's the white American males who get to drive Lexi. You've recently developed a heightened appreciation for grilled fish. You hate Suck because they're just a bunch of pencil-necked nerds who don't know shit about who The Real Movers and Shakers are; you only read it because other people do, and it's important to be up on those kinds of thing. Your mother hated you. Advice: Just remember one thing: they like you 'cause you're rich.
We have absolutely no idea what you're all about and neither do you. Advice: Keep up the good work!