THANKS TO WAY NEW TECHNOLOGY, YOU TOO CAN...
Make Groundbreaking Predictions... Richard Zwetchkenbaum, an analyst at
International Data Corp, on the Sony PC: "I think they will accelerate
the evolution of the PC into a household appliance."
Make Sweeping Generalizations... Robin Tye, partner in a management
consultancy: "The mental models being used by many of the (European)
businesses don't seem to be as agile or as innovative or as new as the
Americans and South East Asians. I think
it's some element of traditionalism." [Reuters, 6/18/96]
Read Short, Thoughtless Pieces... Geoff Reiss, Starwave's vice president
of sports publishing: "This medium is not about reading long, thoughtful
pieces." [New York Times, 6/17/96]
Leave Personal Hygiene Behind Forever... "[Bill] Gates, who's described
early on as forgetting to bathe or change his clothes, still sounds like
a kid, dresses badly and doesn't comb his hair." [Gannett News Service,
FLASH! BRILLIANT SCIENTIST SAVES CHILDREN!
"Adding to the ever-increasing list of health scares, a [British]
government scientist said infants' schools should stop letting pupils
make models out of cardboard toilet-roll
tubes because they may be spreading germs." [The Economist, 6/15/96]
FORGET THE CHILDREN, SAVE THE CELEBS!
A publicist, regarding Kathy Lee Gifford's damage control after hearing
her Wal-Mart clothing line had once been stitched by children in
Honduras: "Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. By calling attention to
the problems, it's saving other celebs grief." [Entertainment Weekly,
SUCK YOURSELF A CLEAN SLATE PART 3!
Kinsley Defends MSFT-Funded Webzine, aka His "Thing"
KINSLEY: Kinsley: "There's a chance my thing will fizzle."
KINSLEY: "It [the name 'Slate'] sounds hard and real, but it's all
KINSLEY: "I like the fact that it's not hip and ironic. I don't like the
we're-so-cool attitude that's so popular on the Web."
KINSLEY: "We'll have opening music. For the first month, it'll be Fats
Waller's 'You Meet The Nicest People in Your Dreams.'"
[Kinsley quotes: Entertainment Weekly, 6/14/96]
DANGLING CARROT O' THE DECADE
"Levi-Strauss, a clothing firm, is to pay bonuses of a
year's extra pay to all its 37,000 employees in 2002 - provided cash-flow
targets are met, as the firm expects." [The Economist, 6/15/96]
SUBTITLE O' THE WEEK
Accidental Empires: How the Boys of Silicon Valley Make Their
Millions, Battle Foreign Competition, and Still Can't Get a Date,
by Bob Cringely
SUBTITLE O' THE CENTURY
Statesman: Written and read by the leaders of the world"
STUPID SEARCH ON: "leader of the"
"Slithery-skinned Invader from the Remote World of Visceros" Had 2 big
guns: a Blaster and a Hydralaser. And as everyone knows, with a
Hydralaser you also need a Hydrapak and Hydrapipe."
"John does whatever Jane doesn't do around here, which isn't much,
but without his help this place would never hold together. He's the
inventor of our product!"
"Satan starts the contest:
"Begin. Trade drink for drink. Last one conscious wins their election!"
[W]ho wins this drinking contest between Ted Kennedy and Boris Yeltsin?"
"The guerrillas should always be prepared with simple slogans in
order to explain to the people, whether in an intentional form or by
chance, the reason for the weapons. 'The weapons will be for winning
freedom; they are for you.'"
"A couple of times I actually got to run over some
Smurfs that didn't get
out of the way in time."