HONESTY: THE BEST POLICY?
If You Value Fame Over Acclaim... Michelle Fonvielle re: her Web diary: "It's very self-satisfying.
Whether or not people like your page, they saw it, and they know who you are."
[Boston Globe, 6/2/96]
Not If You'd Lose to Schmooze... George Bush: "It's amazing how many people beat
you at golf now that you're no longer president." [AP, 5/30/96]
If You're Seeking Unemployment... "It's retooling time for Tim Allen's new
Disney comedy, Jungle2Jungle. A production assistant left several canisters of
undeveloped film in the backseat of a New York City taxi May 21. Disney will
reshoot the scenes if the film fails to turn up. Says a spokesman: 'It was an
honest mistake.' Still, the unnamed assistant was fired." [Entertainment
MORE PROOF THAT MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING
"Aspiring athletes may dream of being the next Michael Jordan. Aspiring techies
dream of being the next Marc Andreesen... At age 24, Andreesen is worth more
than $100 million." [Boston Globe, 6/3/96]
BIG BROTHER WAS "POPULAR" TOO...
"In any case, when you suggest to [Bill] Gates that Microsoft is regarded as
the computer industry's Evil Empire, he'll concede half the point - the part
about being an empire. "I'm certainly the head of the most popular
company," he said. "More people choose to buy our software than any other
company's." [Boston Globe, 5/30/96]
ENERGIZER BUNNY: CLICHE O' THE DAY
Number Of Times A Person, Place, Or Thing Has Been Compared To The Energizer
Bunny in Publications In The Last 6 Months: 553
A Few Examples:
"Dragonflies go on and on, the Energizer bunnies of
"...like the Energizer Bunny of twinkly self-ridicule." [Entertainment Weekly,
"Like ideological Energizer bunnies, they keep beating the drums of class
conflict, waiting for the parade that never materializes." [Second Edition,
"Experiment 3: Half-Life: The Energizer Bunny Effect"
Things That Have Been Compared To The Energizer Bunny:
The Whitewater Investigation
2 Dicks (Vitale & Clark)
The Richmond-Petersburg Area
Skiing at Bogus Basin
The Civilian Marksmanship Program
Lee Trevino's Mouth
The Budget Deficit
Cape St. Claire's Efforts To Improve Traffic Flow
Boston Avenue Deli
A Woman's Biological Clock
The Flat Tax
The "Nag-Withdraw" Cycle
The World Wide Web
SALON: "A WEBSITE FOR PEOPLE WHO READ COSMO"
"I wondered if he used deodorant... We
exchanged numbers. We said we'd call. That was two weeks ago. I'd like to call
him. If I were a guy, and he were a girl, I probably would call him. But it
seems to me, since I'm not, that he should call me. After all, he knows I'm
interested. I am interested, right?" [Salon Magazine, 6/3/96]
GLORIA FOR PRESIDENT!
At Least She Knows Where The Beef Is...
Mind-numbing insight from Gloria Estefan's essay "If I Were President": "I
would close down slaughterhouses and places where the animals we eat live in
cramped, little spaces, and I'd let them roam free on big ranches... If I'm
going to eat a
cow, I'd rather eat a happy one that had a quality life and doesn't mind
being our food! We age beef anyway, so why not age it before it's dead?"
BAD SCRIPT O' THE WEEK
Line from "The Arrival" staring Charlie Sheen: "I look like a can of smashed
assholes." [Entertainment Weekly, 6/7/96]
INSULT O' THE WEEK
Of Jon Peters and Peter Guber: "[T]iny little men in tiny little jeans
endlessly high-fiving each other." [Entertainment Weekly, 6/7/96, as excerpted
from "Hit & Run: How Jon Peters And Peter Guber Took Sony For A Ride In
HEADLINE O' THE YEAR
"God Blathers On And On In Old Testament" [Wisconsin State Journal, 12/95]
GLENN DAVIS QUOTE O' THE WEEK
"Personally, I'm a bit tired of the word 'cool' but it has put
me where I am today. I'm not quite sure where that is sometimes." [ZUG]
STUPID SEARCH ON: "high-fiving"
"WHAT a bunch of knee-jerk reactionary moaning minnies soccer
people are... As we approach the end of the century surely it's time to look
our attitude towards games and the playing of games and to work towards the
elimination of the concept of the elite sportsperson. Let's put an end to the
tyranny of the fit and the well co-ordinated. In the words of my own
psychoanalyst 'just go out and be the best little sporting guy you can be.'"
"I began seeing Dr. Pittavino once per week. It was like I had fallen
and could not get up... My counseling sessions with Dr. Pittavino slowly but
surely began healing my mental wounds. So did watching the Forty-Niners
"It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes
arguing against artificial
"In Scannell's mind, the firing is connected to a three-day suspension that
McLaughlin imposed last February, citing Scannell for "high-fiving" and
"initiating a wave while operating the Zamboni during a hockey game."