for 15 May 1996. Updated every WEDNESDAY.


SELLING OUT: INS AND OUTS

You Don't Have To Make Money... Andrew Anker, President and CEO of HotWired, on the Web business model: "Anybody who is profitable now is not building a business for the long term." [Advertising Age, 5/6]

Your Message Goes Mainstream... Ad for Motorola's ISDN modem: "Find bad web sites 8x faster." [Time, 5/13]

[Blah Blah Blah]

People Take You Seriously... Kim Polese, who left Sun Microsystems to form a start-up company: "By the way, it's not called Yet Another Java Start-Up. I should tell you that right now... There is a Web site called suck.com. I don't know if you happened to see it... And, unfortunately, some publications, including USA Today, took them seriously." [Java Report, March/April]

Your Dignity Goes AWOL... The comment that ended Lionel Richie's $8 million deal with Pepsi, by the wife of a local Pepsi distributor: "C'mere, boy, and give me a kiss! We paid you eight million dollars and the least you can do is give me a kiss!" [Advertising Age, 4/29]

ALL OF THE HOPE, NONE OF THE DOPE

Net demographer on investments in the Internet: "Seldom has so much money been spent on hope, based on so little information.'' [San Jose Mercury News, 4/29]

[Hope]

GLENN DAVIS QUOTE O' THE WEEK!

"You know...it's always a pleasant surprise to find myself popping up yet again in Suck. Does this mean I can look forward to another Glenn Davis Quote O' the Week next week?"

[Prop Head]

YOU SAY YOU WANT A WEBOLUTION

"To Spider Technologies Inc. Chief Executive and co-founder Zack Rinat, the gold rush of speculation over the growth of the Internet's World Wide Web is neither revolutionary or evolutionary. To him, it's a Webolution." [Reuters/Variety, 5/5]

ONCE WERE WEIRDOS

Mr. Franklin-Hodge, computer programmer: "When I was younger, people who were really into computers were considered weird. But that's not true anymore. The Internet has made all this cool." [New York Times, 5/6]

BUT WE CAN'T CUT THE MUSTARD!

From an article on the Second Luddite Congress, in which writer Stephanie Mills discusses breaking the technology addiction by easing slowly out of it: "It's like some people are never going to be full vegetarians. There's always going to be a little piece of meat at the side of the plate. Well, maybe we can't give up technology, but we can make it just a condiment." [New York Times, 4/15]

[Dunce]

STUPID SEARCH ON: "death by boredom"

"I finally got onto the Internet. All I got was this message: You have performed an illegal act. My husband came into the room. He read the message on my screen, and called the police."

"HI! We're the Asthmatics and we're a band. The Following Song Samples Require Real Audio: *Mr. Musician Man *Shit Stain *Don't Play Around The Power Lines"

"Timmy had no where to run, he started to whine and then began to pee his pants. Knowing there was nothing else he could do he took a deep breath and then pulled a 12 gauge out of his pants."

"The condemned is bound hand and foot and buried up to the neck in sand with a sheet placed over the head. A crowd of hysterical bystanders then pelts them until the lack of screams indicates death. Iran's laws forbid the use of large stones, as they bring death too swiftly."

 

courtesy of
Polly Esther