for 8 May 1996. Updated every WEDNESDAY.

FLASH! EAST COASTERS HAVE LESS MACS, BIGGER SACKS! Tom Miller, a vice president at the FIND/SVP research company: "On the East Coast, they may be using the Internet to talk about politics at one in the morning. In the Bay Area, they may be talking about the latest iteration of Netscape." [San Jose Mercury News, 4/29] "[T]wo studies have found that men in several metropolitan areas, including the Twin Cities, may have more sperm today than men had 20 years ago. Perhaps just as unexpected, men in New York City, for unknown reasons, consistently have the highest sperm counts - more than 50 percent higher than those of men in Los Angeles, for example." [Star Tribune Online, 4/29]

	SUCK YOURSELF A CLEAN SLATE! Kinsley Describes His MSFT-Funded Baby KINSLEY: "We're committed not to use technological gimmicks just because they're there, but only if they serve the journalism." KINSLEY: "[F]ree to members of the Microsoft Network and available to other Internet users for an undisclosed subscription fee." KINSLEY: "They're not showering us with money." KINSLEY: "There will be a reason for somebody to log in every day if they're really into this." [Kinsley quotes: Reuters Online, 4/25]

I PEE, YOUPEE, WE PEE, TASTY! France Telecom will launch a commercial computer service dubbed Wanadoo that aims to be "a French inner sea in the wild Internet ocean... [including] a search engine called 'Youpee!'" [Web Review's Net Daily News, 4/18] "Personally, I like to create a ritual around drinking my urine... I go into the bathroom alone and pee into a round glass cup (a special one with the earth etched on it). Before drinking, I hold it to my heart, close my eyes, and connect with the intrinsic power of body, thanking myself for healing." [Yoga Journal, March/April]

DONE THAT Richard Weideman, who has locked himself in a glass cubicle with only a computer terminal since January 31: "My only contact with society is an Internet connection and a glass observation door... I aim to prove that... for 88 days I can interact with the outside world on an international basis as well or better than through other conventional channels of communication." [Reuters, 4/21]

	GLENN DAVIS QUOTE O' THE WEEK! "It dawned on me one day that the things I liked were shaping what the Web looks like. It really shook me up. It felt like a huge burden. But then I learned to deal with it." [NetGuide, 4/96]

STUPID SEARCH ON: "stupid crap" "Eventually I found a can of Gatorade powder that was labeled 'Strawberry & Sponge Flavor.' Right then, I woke up from the dream, so I never found out how it tasted." "This first girlfriend of mine was quite nice and everything. Quite a looker also. She was really cute in my eyes until the day I found out that she had back hair..." "I mean, you can't really understand everything that a band is saying. So you don't know what's inside of our heads, but you can figure some things out that will give you some direction as to what we're thinking... " "To all the people out there who say that Green Day sucks I think you should listen to what I have to say..." "If he ever met a guy, and asked him what he does for a living, and the guy said, 'I design Cadillac door handles,' he decided he would just beat the guy's ass on the spot... "

courtesy of Polly Esther