for 1 May 1996. Updated every WEDNESDAY.

FILLER: EARLY
INFLUENCES!

Severe head trauma
I told you not to touch
that

Noogie-inducing
behavior
After School Special
featuring a know-it-all
plagued by self-doubt

After School Special
featuring Scott Baio
on the evils of marijuana use
("You're just a stoner,
Jack! That's what they
all call you at school!
Super Stone Jack!")

No Ice Cream Man in our
neighborhood
RAID-sniffing dares
Ugly bacon grease
incident
Falling and skinning
knee badly after playing
ant hospital and thinking
it must be an Act of God

Painful flip-flops
Nanny nanny boo boo
stick your head in doo
doo

Loose bathing suits
Cutting self while
chopping legs off Barbie
and thinking it must be
an Act of Barbie

M-M-M-My Sharona
Why don't you play
outside for awhile?

Mom, it's cold out here...
Mom?


99% OF WHAT FILLER
WILL INCLUDE

[32%]falsified statistics

[29%]stuff we found in our
desks

[21%]give me a fucking
break

[9%]blatant ass-licking
blatant rip-offs
blatant self-
promotion

[8%]pure tomfoolery
sensationalist
gossip
dummy-pipe-
induced crap
smug holier-
than-thou-isms
industry
glad-handing
lame attempts at
stirring up
controversy
toe cheese
cheap shots at
[insert your name
here]
well thought-out
analysis of [insert
someone else's
name here]


STUPID SEARCHES:
SEARCH ON
"FILLER"!

"Rob Filler's experience
in the Janitorial industry
goes back a long way,
working with some of the
most well-known names
in the industry..."

"Mavis, what is that, and
why is it hairy?"

"Your support of quality
filler is appreciated, and
will likely get you into
heaven."

"This is just filler. Ignore."

 

courtesy of
Polly Esther