SPECIAL FEATURES
 
  Jan - Dec  2001



23 Mar 2001
The Elvisification of Marshall Mathers or From Marshall to Jerry
From Grammys to Grampa in short, easy steps.
 
 

16 Feb 2001
Tavern Turnover
Peter Bagge tracks the evolution of Blue Collar Dives into Hipster Hangouts
 
 

19 Jan 2001
Saving Private Cheney
How Five American soldiers crossed into enemy territory so one man wouldn't have to.
 
 

12 Jan 2001
Tales From the Cache
The Terrible Truth of Telecommuting!
 


5 Jan 2001
Transfer of Power
Suck takes the reins of humor!
 
 
  Jan - Dec  2000



26 Dec 2000
Dot-Condolences
Heartfelt sympathy for a flatlining industry
 
 

22 Dec 2000
Power Vacuum
With the election over, an anxious nation asks, Now what will we
 
 

17 Nov 2000
There She Is: The Most Resented Woman In America
Peter Bagge defends the honor of our most maligned institution
 
 

29 Sep 2000
The Suck School of Comic Art: Graduate Course
How to draw even funnier
 


22 Sep 2000
Blah Blah Blah
Reflections on the 2000 Democratic National Convention, by P. Bagge
 
 

15 Sep 2000
Egos a Go-go
Peter Bagge explores the Reform Party
 
 

25 Aug 2000
I (Heart) The Blob!
Peter Bagge closes the book on the EMP
 
 

3 Mar 2000
Bush Bounces Back
Suck's bail-out of George W.'s hapless campaign
 


25 Feb 2000
70,000 Sucksters Can't Be Wrong
Suck sets out to make the world a better place for television
 
 

28 Jan 2000
Man on the Floor
A Suck Insider Special Report
 
 

14 Jan 2000
Vending Machine Shakedown
Coin-ops for the New Economy
 
 

7 Jan 2000
Infomercial 'Oscars!'
The Glitz! The Glamour! The $19.95 Gizmos!
 
 
  Jan - Dec  1999



13 Dec 1999
Suckdot
Porn for Nerds. Stuff that Splatters
 
 

13 Aug 1999
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Sautéed Me
Further employment opportunities for supervillains
 
 

23 Jul 1999
Escape from New York
Hillary and Rudy's Empire State squabble
 
 

9 Jul 1999
New Adventures in Critterdom
Aibo's litter of technopets
 


2 Jul 1999
How To Judge A Man By His CD Collection
A Modern Woman's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age
 
 

18 Jun 1999
Ten Years After: OJ Simpson, 2004
A futuristic, Juiceriffic anniversary!
 
 

11 Jun 1999
Stop Making Census
The real Y2K problem
 
 

4 Jun 1999
Suck Goes to War!
One of our own joins up!
 


28 May 1999
All the World's a Rave
We cash in on Shakespeare chic
 
 

14 May 1999
Menace II Society
Stop the schmendrick cleansing!
 
 

30 Apr 1999
Posse Prospects
Leo's hunt for a new Magic Man
 
 

16 Apr 1999
Outside the Actor's Studio
The death of celebrity at the Bravo Network
 


2 Apr 1999
Great Expectations
...and why you should lower them
 
 

19 Mar 1999
The Celluloid Dunciad
How Retarded People Conquered Hollywood
 
 

12 Mar 1999
MOCK3
The Brave New World of high-tech toiletries
 
 

5 Mar 1999
Urban Hipsters
Little, Yellow, Different
 


19 Feb 1999
Yawn At The Devil
Searching for Falwell's Jewish Antichrist
 
 

5 Feb 1999
Paralegal!
The new legalism: It's not just for jury duty anymore!
 
 

29 Jan 1999
The Eternal Blame
Trace your problems back to the source!
 
 

15 Jan 1999
Bastard Out of Arkansas
Matt Drudge's last big scoop?
 


8 Jan 1999
Details, Details
Are you detail oriented or detail ignorant?
 
 
  Jan - Dec  1998



18 Dec 1998
Jingle Bell Schlock
An endless stream of Christmas dreck
 
 

20 Nov 1998
Strangers On a Gravy Train
ABC Dials M for Motor Skills
 
 

13 Nov 1998
An Embarrassment of Riches
The hard-luck stories of celebrity superstars
 
 

6 Nov 1998
Ad Infinitium
Attack ads you may have missed
 


30 Oct 1998
Monster Mash
Suck's Halloween Creature Feature
 
 

23 Oct 1998
suckEGGS
Suck's Evil Genius Grants 1998
 
 

2 Oct 1998
Having Trouble Coping? Again?
The cure for all your psychological problems
 
 

25 Sep 1998
Why We Didn't Run the Henry Hyde Story
Suck's ethics put to the test
 


18 Sep 1998
Starrmark Cards
When you care enough to send the very best!
 
 

11 Sep 1998
Kaiser on the Set
Ruling Hollywood with an iron fist, '98-style
 
 

4 Sep 1998
Royal Flush
Choosing the next People's Princess
 
 

28 Aug 1998
It Is, Indeed, the End of the World
The rejection letters of Judy Blume
 


21 Aug 1998
Idiot Gate '98
Suck's last word on the Clinton nightmare
 
 

14 Aug 1998
Off the Charts
Diagnosing the modern magazine chart epidemic
 
 

7 Aug 1998
Seasick Part Two Postponed
Disaster strikes the maiden voyage of the R.M.S. Suckster
 
 

31 Jul 1998
Seasick Part One
Suck stows away for the next wave of cruise journalism
 


24 Jul 1998
Beat the Press
The true story behind myfirsttime.com
 
 

17 Jul 1998
Rhyme and Reason
The lost TV theme songs
 
 

19 Jun 1998
Crash Course
Cartoon crashes vs. Cartoonist crashes
 
 

12 Jun 1998
Dancing Baby Boom
The hard life and troubled times of the Dancing Baby
 


5 Jun 1998
Gear and Clothing in Las Vegas
Gonzo journalism, '90s-style
 
 

29 May 1998
Is That Justice?
Hollywood lawyers meet the real world, hilarity ensues
 
 

22 May 1998
Endsville Postponed
What if Frank Sinatra had lived?
 
 

15 May 1998
Nothing Lasts Forever
Mr. Seinfeld, he dead
 


8 May 1998
Overprofes-sionalism: Fear It
A terrible affliction
 
 

24 Apr 1998
Springer Fever
The Jerry Springer Show gets a makeover
 
 

17 Apr 1998
Dumbstruck
'Dumbing Down': The evidence
 
 

10 Apr 1998
Soundbite Autopsy
The most challenging assignment of Kathy Ireland's career
 


3 Apr 1998
Smoke Out
High times, low concept
 
 

27 Mar 1998
Me and My Shadow of Irony
The Baffler Boys Hoax Harper's
 
 

20 Mar 1998
Vote Celebrity
Hollywood-on-the-Potomac cashes in
 
 

6 Mar 1998
Friendship!
The Complete and Unabridged Illustrated Encyclopedia of Friendship
 


27 Feb 1998
Insani-TV
A cable channel for a mad, mad world
 
 

20 Feb 1998
New from the J. Suckerman Catalogue
The Silver Screen Collection, Spring 1998
 
 

13 Feb 1998
Technicolor Yawn
Primary Colors, shaded
 
 

6 Feb 1998
Enhance Your Communication Skills
Why bother walking the walk when you can talk the talk?
 


30 Jan 1998
Bowled Over
Suck reviews the ads of Super Bowl XXXII
 
 

23 Jan 1998
Vodka on Ice
Robert Downey Jr.'s prison manifesto
 
 

9 Jan 1998
Bondage
Tarantino and Scorcese plug Bond
 
 
  Jan - Dec  1997



19 Dec 1997
How To Buy Suck
The best-case scenario
 
 

12 Dec 1997
Writers!
Write what you know!
 
 

5 Dec 1997
Are You Getting Old?
Watch for the tell-tale signs
 
 

21 Nov 1997
Skin-deep Thoughts
Esquire speaks Christy Turlington's mind...
 


7 Nov 1997
The Suck School of Comic Art
Terry did this all by himself!
 
 

31 Oct 1997
Devil in the Details
What makes the merely dumb extremely dumb?
 
 

3 Oct 1997
The Suck School of Comedy
How to be funny: we're serious
 
 

19 Sep 1997
Are You in a Meeting? How to tell.
Suck goes to work
 


29 Aug 1997
Hacking Your Life Away
The Suck guide to writing for online magazines
 
 

15 Aug 1997
Apple and Microsoft
A fable
 
 

1 Aug 1997
Self-destruction Books
Eat less, weigh more!
 
 

18 Jul 1997
Cult-O-Meter
Are you in a cult, or just Canadian?
 


1 Apr 1997
Salmon