DAILY ESSAYS 1995
 
  Dec 1995
 

22 Dec 1995


The Net Giveth, and the Net Taketh Away
The Year of the Internet in Review

21 Dec 1995


Hit & Run XIV
We solemnly swear to worship Andre

20 Dec 1995


You Will Become Zon
Fun with search engines

19 Dec 1995


Chicks 'n' Shit
Patronizing web magazines - for girls!

18 Dec 1995


Haw Haw Haw
Jack Chick, the perfect stocking stuffer

15 Dec 1995


Dystopian Utopia
Karrie Jacobs decries the coining of Utopia

14 Dec 1995


Hit & Run XIII
You can lead a horse to water, but that doesn't make him a duck

13 Dec 1995


It's a Log, Log, Log!
Make your visit count, load this page

12 Dec 1995


Exotic, Neurotic, and Staple-free
The Art of Zine

11 Dec 1995


Cliffhanger
Another cold cup o' Java

8 Dec 1995


New Media Killed The Video Star
The web in real-time

7 Dec 1995


Hit & Run XII
Nike sponsors Impressionists 'R' Us

6 Dec 1995


The Real Web
It's best to avoid VD

5 Dec 1995


Substantially Worse Then Nothing
The manufactured frenzy of the everyday

4 Dec 1995


This Bud's Online
There's nothing to beer but beer itself

1 Dec 1995


Life is Hell
Litigation as a spectator sport

 
  Nov 1995
 

30 Nov 1995


Hit & Run XI
Suck parodies, Andy Kaufman, and book cover art

29 Nov 1995


Logs of Love
When it rains it porns

28 Nov 1995


Incorporating the Mouse
Pixar toys with Disney's stories

27 Nov 1995


Saturation Posturing
Read my posters

24 Nov 1995


Hit & Run X
A picture perfect turkey

22 Nov 1995


Infant Mortality and Other Tragedies
Kaleida say no more

21 Nov 1995


The Suck New Media Autopsy
You will be assimilated

20 Nov 1995


Die Hard in a Warehouse
SRL's monster truck rallies for hipsters

17 Nov 1995


WOW.
Compuserve decides to do it all over again

16 Nov 1995


Hit & Run IX
Innovation and plagarism on the web

15 Nov 1995


Spam-o-matically Yours
Share the love, pass the spam

14 Nov 1995


Indexing for Dollars
Making $$$ - one URL at a time

13 Nov 1995


If This Is A Salon, Where's The Do?
Who needs interactivity, when you have the hype?

10 Nov 1995


Consummate Suck
Crass consumerism

9 Nov 1995


Hit & Run VIII
Mr. Bad Advice visits the Joyclub at Cyborganic

8 Nov 1995


Oracular TV
Oracle's plan for the Web - er, ITV

7 Nov 1995


hotmondo2100.com
R.U. Sirius? More digital culture magazines?

6 Nov 1995


Stupe Du Jour
A look at Cool Shite of the Day pages

3 Nov 1995


A Wave of the Shockingly Bad
The abuse of multimedia reaches dynamic proportions

2 Nov 1995


Hit & Run VII
The future, domain names, and News of the Weird

1 Nov 1995


The Suckers Bite
Airing out Suck's dirty e-mail

 
  Oct 1995
 

31 Oct 1995


DiaNeticS
Suck works to contact and reduce and erase enagrams

30 Oct 1995


TV By The Blind
The origins of really, really horrible websites

27 Oct 1995


Rolling Stone, R.I.P.
Foreshadowing the early retirement of Robert Christgau

26 Oct 1995


Looking for a Little Sass
Sass-backwards editing

25 Oct 1995


Hit & Run VI
Dead rock stars, sports, and French film

24 Oct 1995


Welcome to the End of Film
Youth demographic-aimed films rot minds

23 Oct 1995


The Immaculate Sell-Out
Another indie learns its lesson the hard way

20 Oct 1995


Screaming Trees Revisited
The cleverly nefarious packaging of the Big 3 online services

19 Oct 1995


Hit & Run V
The dark side of the web: Court TV

18 Oct 1995


Media 101
An exercise in inflammatory pedanticism

17 Oct 1995


A Requiem for the Server Push
Netscape's contribution to the timely delivery of broadband

16 Oct 1995


Toy Story
No WebObjects, no objectives

13 Oct 1995


The Canvas is the Enemy
Discrimination and guerilla publishing

12 Oct 1995


Hit & Run IV
Nietzsche consumes Jolt cola

11 Oct 1995


Selling Without Shame
Ad Age does it with the world watching

10 Oct 1995


A Better Use For Bullshit
Propaganda for the new media masses

9 Oct 1995


Diarrheic Web Sites
What to 'surf' at the cyber cafe

6 Oct 1995


How To Read Wired Magazine
A step-by-step guide to your personal digital revolution

5 Oct 1995


Hit & Run III
O.J., MIT, and pasta

4 Oct 1995


Mr. Showbiz's Revenge
Webrunnin' at Starwave

3 Oct 1995


Way Lame Journalism
Inept journalism finds a home on the Internet

2 Oct 1995


NoShit, Sherlock.
The good, the ad, and the ugly

 
  Sep 1995
 

29 Sep 1995


NetSoft vs. MicroScape
Could Netscape's stock price be undervalued?

28 Sep 1995


Hit & Run II
A return to the scene of the crime

27 Sep 1995


Disgorgeous George
Would you give head for a dollar?

26 Sep 1995


Youth Marketing
Just how stupid are kids?

25 Sep 1995


Good Luck, Jammer!
Uncommercials at their best

22 Sep 1995


We Give it 3 Out of 5 Stars
A Suck-imposed ratings system for the net

21 Sep 1995


Hit & Run I
Suck throws off some one-hit wonders

20 Sep 1995


Pathological Self-Improvement and the Organizational Man
The future of the infomercial superhighway

19 Sep 1995


The Sickness Unto Death
My life as a cancer host

18 Sep 1995


A Spot-On Caricature
Suck's look at web-based soap operas

15 Sep 1995


Why, yes, in fact, I am a model...
Virtual reality on the web: the next av-atari

14 Sep 1995


Make Money Fast
How you can cash in on the Internet goldrush

13 Sep 1995


Dear Netscape
Soliciting our way to the top

12 Sep 1995


For They Know Not What They Do
The problems of being under con-suck-tion

11 Sep 1995


A Modern-Day ReVival
Hugs, not drugs!

8 Sep 1995


Passive Consumerism
Sounds like Mercantile Audio

7 Sep 1995


They Must Be Doing Something Right...
BLINK this

6 Sep 1995


Unabomber: Blah, Blah, Blah...
He could've just put up a website...

5 Sep 1995


WWWF Grudge Match
Serial killer bakeoff

4 Sep 1995


Consuming Media
I got you, Babe

2 Sep 1995


Just Another Media Hack
'I'm not an ad man, but it's just possible...'

1 Sep 1995


SIGGRAPH Damage Report (pt.2)
Institutions can be wonderful things

 
  Aug 1995
 

31 Aug 1995


Marc's Million Dollar Trick
Whoring yourself was never this good

30 Aug 1995


SIGGRAPH Damage Report (pt. 1)
What do you call a $100K paintbrush?

29 Aug 1995


Close-Up Penetration Shots and Your Children
'Wanna see my clit pierce?'

28 Aug 1995


Live Through This
Cobain died for someone's sins