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THE DEVIL
Bondage
Materialism
Ignorance
Hopelessness
becomes ...
THE REGIS
Bandages up lame ABC-TV prime time schedule
Immaterial trivia
Is that your answer?
Help, I can't stop watching.
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THE MAGICIAN
Action
Conscious Awareness
Concentration
Power
becomes ...
THE DAVID COPPERFIELD
Hammy, choreographed abracadabra gestures
Conscious Awareness that he seems very gay, hence bogus marriage with
supermodel
Feigned concentration on making the Statue of Liberty disappear while
the TV cameras move to a separate island
Poise!
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THE STAR
Hope
Inspiration
Generosity
Serenity
becomes ...
THE STARR
Searching through grade school bathroom graffiti in Hope, Arkansas
Perspiration
Generalissimo
Semen Stains
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WHEEL OF FORTUNE
Destiny
Turning Point
Movement
Personal Vision
becomes ...
WHEEL!...OF!
...FORTUNE!
Density of contestants who can't figure out F_DDL_R _N TH_ R__F
Turning Letters
Movement of Vanna's aging but still svelte hips
Personal wealth of Merv Griffin
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