|
"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun" |
||
|
|
This week's surge in the price of gold has us scraping away at our own fillings and false teeth. While we scramble to hoard up treasure, we got the 411 on precious metals from Chris "Iceman" Aire, the hip-hop jeweler to the stars. Aire's company 2 Awesome specializes in fashioning microphone, hoop, and football themes along with any other ideas a client might dream up into "the most awesome platinum and gold jewelry on the planet." He spoke with us from his office in Los Angeles.
The explosion of offline advertising has created some unforeseen placing possibilities for the Web's small fries. Most recently, radio listeners have been unable to escape a spot for Paytrust.com, in which a weary-sounding George Sanders type recites a list of supposedly time-wasting dot coms (the idea being something about how Paytrust is the one Web site that won't waste your time). Sadly, though, the company has not managed to monopolize all those tantalizing URLs. While alligatorsinthesewer.com, headbangersanonymous.com, mytriptosacramento.com, knittedshawls.com, deathtodisco.com, and collectiblebeercans.com all redirect the unwary browser to Paytrust, the International Mud Wrestling League has benefited from free airplay for mudwrestling.com. Ian Joblonsky, owner of the kielbasa.com domain, has neglected to take advantage of the publicity, and similar disappointing No-DNSs greeted us when we visited silkstockings.com (owned by Bellevue, Washington's Synchronicity Inc.) and plywood.com (CES Marketing of Vancouver). When we contacted Brenda Roling (brendasboudoir.com), she informed us that she had actually scooped up the domain name after hearing the Paytrust ad. Like many a self-publisher before her, Brenda is planning to get a site up there any day now, and says she has not ruled out a webcam. A more salty response came from Ken
Firestone Was he planning to take advantage of all those idle hits generated by Marconi's infernal machine? "I don't know that I'll ever put anything up there, so you people can have all the fun you want typing in the name." Why did he register the domain? "Because I wanted to. There's a hell of a lot more to the Internet than just Web sites, but then people like you don't know that because you didn't know the Internet existed more than two years ago." While his rebuke stung, finding somebody who still brags about his Net cred was as exciting as discovering the proverbial Japanese soldier who didn't know the war was over. Probably the only clear winner in Paytrust's publicity giveaway is removeunwantedhair.com, where "Tiffanys and Angelicas Web Site!" offers "Massive Shemale, Celeb, Bondage, Fetish, and much much more." We like to buy when there's blood in the streets, and few streets are bloodier right now than Salon.com's unfairly maligned corner of Skid Row. With its stock now regularly dipping below four, and disputes raging about just how much it has in
the bank some hard-core gloating and nasty told-ya-sos. Call us foul-weather friends, but while all these naysayers and young
Republicans stock, while Matt Drudge and Michael Kinsley do tag-team Salon bashing on CSPAN (possibly the only media entity enjoyed by fewer Americans than Salon itself), and while the congenitally conflicted James J. Cramer forecasts doom for any content play that doesn't charge
for subscriptions offer an unironic buy recommendation. If print dinosaurs like Spin and most of the Condé Nast arsenal can be routinely bought and sold for eight- and nine-figure sums, there must be some value locked up there somewhere. In fact, considerably more. We continue to predict a dark future for long articles with lots of words and a bright one for sex columnists. On that note, we'd like to send a shout out to SurfWatch for blocking Suck's "sexually explicit" content. When you can't even say the word "pee-pee" without giggling, it can only be a compliment to be mistaken for red-light-district studs. Sadly, anybody who uses SurfWatch's proprietary content-blocking technology the way it's supposed to be used will be sadly disappointed. In addition to redlining bland districts like our own, SurfWatch neglects to blacklist the considerably more potty-mouthed Salon, or even such overt efforts at one-handed entertainment as removeunwantedhair.com. Meanwhile, we accept the honor and will do our best to talk dirty. Um ... "We'd like to pull down our knickers and do something untoward with some naughty young lass"...? We'll work on our delivery. courtesy of theSucksters |
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
|
||