"It's the End of the World as Keyes Knows It (But Keyes Feels Fine)"
— to the tune of R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"

That's great,
I start with an earthquake,
Birds and snakes,
George W. —
Alan Keyes is not afraid.
Eye of a hurricane,
Listen to myself speak
Campaign serves my own needs,
Doesn't matter who leads
I'm a loony,
Pleads
Here? No.
Earth? No.
Unfair taxing clatter with fear of God,
Down height.
Went to Harvard,
Represent the seventh sign in a government for hire
  and a bird-shaped dog.
Lost it,
Wasn't learning in a hurry with the furies
Breathing down Quayle's neck.
Vote by vote
Reporters baffled, Bush, tethered Forbes.
Look at that small cheese!
Fine then.
Oh geez, GOP's, separation six degrees, but Louie Freeh's.
Save yourself, serve myself.
Bill serves his own needs, listen to his heart bleed.
Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right — right.
Me vitriolic, patriotic,
Nuts, fight, bright light,
Quite insanely psyched!

It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it.
It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it.
It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it and Keyes feels fine.

Six o'clock — TV hour.
Don't get caught with Matty Lauer.
Slash and burn, can't discern, listen to myself churn.
No way UN uniform and book burning, blood letting.
Speeches will soon be in tongue
Eat your young.
Light a candle, light a motive.
Step down, step down.
Watch the world flush, flush.
Uh oh,
This is ABC's — abductees.
I think I may have caught Lyme disease.
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies.
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives
My knee-bone just said, "Hey!"



It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it.
It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it.
It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it and Keyes feels fine.

The other night I ate some rice
Then I prayed for Donna Rice.
Mounted wife twice.
Ronald Reagan. Gary Bauer, Jesus Christ, and Ollie North.
China meltdown, told lies, jelly bean, boom!
Me symbiotic, patriotic,
Fun but nuts, right?
Right.

It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it.
It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it.
It's the end of the world as Keyes knows it and Keyes feels fine ... fine

It's time he had some time alone.



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