Ever get all dressed up and leave the house, only to find yourself speaking with unattractive, dull people about utterly pointless crap when you could be, say, flipping absent-mindedly through stupid magazines or picking that big scab on your knee?

Welcome to the party.

Just try to remember that the real payoff of parties is not the so-called "fun" you have at them but the illusion you create for yourself that you're "getting out there" and that you're not a "total loser."

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